I think my first instinct is always about how can I fix this, or how can I help, or what should I say or do. This is not the first time that someone has pointed that out to me. Most of the time all I really need to do is stop and listen. Maybe my concern and my willingness to even listen to them is more than sufficient. Haiya but I cannot shake off the "I NEED TO DO SOMETHING" feelings. How can you tell me a problem and expect nothing to be done of it except that I listen?

And my pet peeve is as always, that people aren't as serious or as interested as they should be. It's terrible okay I don't understand how you can be half-hearted to a heavy commitment that you undertook yourself! It's times like these that makes me go back to justify what Uncle Richard said about being busy is not a very good excuse. There's plenty of time available it's how you make of it, and commitment always involves certain sacrifices, so don't bother if you don't want to. Would it be better if we all just said no right from the start. How can we be satisfied with just knowing God exists, and never bother to spend time seeking Him. Why even bother to go church.

Wehh I think I have some chronic disorder to need constant action or activity. Or I'm just taking everything too seriously and getting upset over something trivial. Okay la I should take encouragement from positive attitudes first. Hahaha before I lament over lack of Christ-like attitudes. I've got a long long way to go myself too.

I spent a very nonsensical Friday with Eunice. We went Towner Road AWWA wanting to volunteer but we didn't even dare to go in, and in the end I would have had to go through some interview procedures also. Then we looked at the MRT map trying to decide some random place that we could go, and ended up at Ang Mo Kio AWWA but didn't do anything there either. Went to AMK Hub to roam around instead, and Eunice kept searching for every pink thing or tube dresses or girly thing just so she can laugh at me! Crazy laa half the time we were laughing at pointless things or silly nonsense.

And Eunice brought two friends Charmel and Joelynn, one of them asked me do I ever scold my cell group members. I don't know how to put it hahahaha even if I'm angry or irritated I still must be patient! Yes yes it's already hard to tell them things without sounding like I want to impose my morals on them. Hahaha then I'll just be reverting to nagging which I do best. Haiya don't know la I'm not sure what I want and I don't know how to do it and I'm too old to appreciate their world.

Need to pray more, and have faith.

Eunice just taught me something hahahaha I didn't know I could do this!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm being retarded I knoww.

Okiees update for my weekend. Yesterday was supposed to be happy picnic at Botanic Gardens again, but the rain brought us to Dora's house instead! I was all ready to bring my frisbee out and I even prepared bread for the swans! But in the end all I played was Blokus and bridge and with Dora/Marcus/Debra's hamsters.

Had to rush down to Republic Poly for some drama performance after that. Sherwin's friend Salima was acting in it, and Wei Long Fabian me were there to support even though we've got no idea what the play was going to be and we don't know who Salima is. Very impressive actually, because the theatrical group was pretty much self-run by this group of JC students and I don't think there are any teachers or adults really helping them and the direction wasn't too amateurish and acting was good and organisation was very structured! and I really think Salima is the finest actor on the whole set. And I found out later that she's in dance too and she has her own chorale group and she gets top grades in school and acting is just "something she likes to do".

Why am I not multi-talented like that huh!! Hahaha I spent two years in JC arts stream and I hung out with all the cool cool people who can sing and dance and act and debate and draw and write and lead and still get nice grades in class, so why didn't some of their creative genes rub off me! Although I'm game enough to dance and act hehh just that I think the production would have collapsed on its head and reared its ugly end. Anyway it's not about me. We went to eat supper at Jalan Kayu before going home.

Today was largely at church as on a Sunday would be. Joined in for soldiership class all over again haha. And jamming to sing my rubbishy accompaniments. Went down to Gracehaven in the evening with David Yurong Rachel to join in their service and to meet all the relevant people and to check out the technicalities. I'm still gripped with the same strong feelings when I first led worship there! Had a good long chat over there. But the chicken wings which their staff prepared were good haha.

Nice picture, or maybe cos it's the SLR haha.

At the start of the year I told Cheryl not to schedule me for Friday worship leading until March, because I didn't really want to have to rush down from camp again. I thought I won't be very free on Fridays, but I just realised that for the past few weeks I've been down to help here there everywhere with the practice. So nonsense!! But okay laa it's a timely break to take stock of everything that I'm doing. I really think we should amplify the kick bass drum and I think the bass guitar should be loud until cannot be louder, then we'll just all drown in all the bass notes hahaha.

And I'm trying my best to read the Worship Matters book without feeling overly inadequate! Kat passed it to me a week back, and the more I read the more I'm overwhelmed by what a worship leader is called to do and supposed to be doing. It's such a demanding role and I didn't really stop to think before what all of this entails, and now I'm thinking whether I should even continue leading worship! Hahaha Kat says she didn't intend on convicting us when she settled on this for reading resource, and not entirely supposed to be thinking like that. So I'm trying to take with a pinch of salt everything that I fall short of, and strive to improve on those areas.

Which brought to mind Andy the security guard too. Hahaha he went to the chapel to get one of those list of Bible verses to turn to when you're troubled or worried or sad or whatever, cos he wanted to use them as ideas for mushy text messages for his girlfriend! Okay laa it's not the best way to get him to read the Bible, but it was kinda fun showing him how he can look up the verses himself. I chose not to tell him about 1 Corinthians 13 "love is patient love is kind" cos I know he'll definitely like that one, hehh let him find it himself laa. But the funniest thing was he turned to John 14, which went “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you". And he said the first verse is very good, but he can't send the second verse, or his wife will start demanding for more houses!

I changed my guitar strings! Trying out this new brand which the guitar store assistant recommended. The sound is super good I can play anything and it sounds so rich and nice that your heart can melt instantly!! I don't care what Mark Matthew Kenneth whoever says hahaha my guitar sounds the best and the pickup is so good that when I play it and the guitar is leaning on my stomach it can even pick up my breathing hahahaha!

How! My cell group is crazy wacky giggly. Jolene we're too old hahaha.

Holy Spirit come in power
Change my heart
I want to live for You, my God
Let Your Spirit come in power
Change my life
That I may live for You my Lord
Fall on us Lord


I think this song is the combination to both Holy Spirit Rain Down and Fire Fall Down! You can sing this instead as an alternative. I strongly believe you cannot sing both of those songs in one single worship session because there is an elemental clash in itself already! Either the rain will douse the fire or the fire will burn the water out hahaha. Yesh I have thought about this before when I was planning for one worship a long long time ago. Alicia and Mark thinks this is hilarious. But there you go, here's a song that encompasses "falling" without fluid nor flames.

Valentine's Day was spent with Priscilla at Cedar Girls' funfair! I asked her cos it's her old secondary school. Cheapo method of inviting a girl for a date but I spent last Valentine's with her too! I threw sponges at little girls! Terrible haha. But it was fun and with great company and silly. And going to Dora's house after meeting up with the rest after Pris left.

Today's totally maniacal I thought Sunday School kids will be nice and quiet and cutesy, but they were like a hurricane okay! They started hitting me before they even know who I am! And at night was watching movie New In Town.

Some photos, thanks to Pris. Spot us in the crowd! Hahaha what we resorted to doing to make ourselves feel popular. And the ducky photo right, the random girl turned out to be one of the poster girls for the funfair brochures and posters, according to Lydia! I was quite amused and shocked too how can it be so coincidental! And now Lydia refuses to believe me hahaha she thinks I am secretly in love with pretty poster girls. I really only wanted the duck, but the girl was just there!!!!

My hands still have this buttery, cookie taste that is still faintly distinct even after I soap it thoroughly! Actually cookie baking is quite easy and fun laa after you get the hang of it. I still remember the first time ever I tried baking the cookies, Alicia and Mark kept scolding and laughing at me cos I really didn't know anything! I've improved tremendously since then okay!!!

I went for HIV blood test on Thursday, and the spot on my arm where the medic injected me to draw my blood still hurts! Not very badly la but it sort of bruised a bit. And I got a blister on one of my finger after getting burnt by the oven. Aiyoo I cannot straighten my left arm and I cannot maximise use of my right hand!

I got very upset with the service today. I couldn't focus during worship because I thought everything sounded very discordant, then the projections weren't coming on when they should be, and I keep getting distracted by a lot of little noise here and there, and people around me weren't paying attention too. Again and again, the evil nagging question kept asking itself: everything is going wrong and people are not interested also, so why did I bother to come for service when I could be home sleeping instead??

But I realised I missed the whole point of it la. It's really not about performing the most rousing worship or presenting the most touching messages or having synced projections and slides. I got too caught up in the technicalities and it's totally overlooking the essence of worshipping and seeking God. In the end, the service is run by people, but the focus of it all should point to God.

And that was why I thought pastor's message was like a bullet aimed straight at me. There's bound to be different expectations from everyone, and there will always be an incompatibility between people and the jobs that needs to be done. Rather than sulking at all these faults and inadequacies, we should fully expect all of these and turn to God to fix all these gaps. Where there is imperfection, God is perfect. Where there is dissimilarity, God is the same everywhere.

Is being too serious a bad thing? What if you really believe in something, or you really want to do something, but everyone around you doesn't share the same passion as you? Don't know laaa I'm not in the position to criticise or judge either. I can only carry out my part and keep praying and keep encouraging, and reconcile the fact that God is sovereign and will work accordingly to His time.

I'm tired of a lot of things la. I was half expecting leaders' meeting to be long and draggy. Okay it was quite long, but I realised that it's not always about me doing complaining ranting. I wish I am more able to surrender it completely and let God take control. Yesh I'm forgetting that serving God is supposed to be a joyful thing to do, rather than shuffling my tired feet all the tim. And yesh yesh everyone should read Philippians and make it their personal aim to want to know Christ more and more, and to keep running the race.

Pastor said "don't walk away".

Andy the security guard was kinda dejected today, because one of the 4D results corresponded with the digits in his handphone number, but he didn't place any bets for that number! And that would have been a potential $2500. He keeps telling me that if he wins the $10 million Toto jackpot, he'll buy a new laptop so that I can help him transfer songs into his new mp3 player, then I'll get to keep the laptop.

Hahaha I think I've always been a "good boy" in that aspect I have no idea how all the soccer or Toto or 4D or whatever betting systems work. Maybe I know some rudimentary terms, and it ends there? I think I'll forever be a "good boy" if I don't drink, don't smoke, don't gamble regularly, don't take drugs, don't have non-committal sex with random girls.

Goody-two-shoes la.

"Her cell group grew from a small size of about 10 to the current 70 strong now, and yet she not only knows all of them by name, but maintains a close relationship with each one of them. She carries two phones around with her everywhere she goes, one which is for her normal usage, and another which is reserved specially for her cell group members, so that she can be constantly available to reply their messages, to answer their calls, and to be online on MSN to talk to them."

Doesn't she sound like God? Oh my gosh I have trouble keeping up with less than 10 people in my cell group la, and half the time I'm too lazy to reply their messages.

But I'm sure they all love me hahaahahaha I'm super lovable =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)=)

Last week at Heart of God Church, someone I haven't met before in my life asked me if I was a Christian and whether my purpose for going there was to look for a new church. I found it remotely insulting and I was thinking to myself whether that was an appropriate question to ask to someone whom you just met for the first time! Okay laa to give her credit she proceeded with huge caution and trepidation, and I really didn't know anyone there at all, so I thought the questions about me would invariably revolve around what I'm doing now, which church am I from, what do I do there blah blah. My answer to that lady who asked me the question was yes I've been to church since I was eight and I'm happy serving at Salvation Army in Bishan.

And that answer I gave sort of haunted me because it's true, and I wished I could have told her more than just that. I'm very thankful for the opportunities to serve in church all these years, and all of these experiences allowed me to learn and grow and mature both in my spiritual walk as well as my character building. I think that the more I'm doing, the more I'm learning about God and the more He is becoming real to me, like someone I can always always depend upon.

But I don't want to just keep doing stuff in church! On the few occasions when I've got no commitments or no roles to play in the service, I try and sit as far away as most of the congregation are sitting so that I won't be distracted or whatever. Every time I try very hard, but I just cannot escape the feeling that it's very dead and I don't feel God in church at all and a lot of times I might be better off staying at home, especially when I'm finding it so difficult to find a few Fridays or Sundays where I can just be part of the congregation and stay in my seat without going on stage.

How is it that some of my friends in other churches can still involve Jesus in a very big manner in the way they live their lives, and yet they are not as active in church as I am? Sometimes I really admire the way they are spiritually disciplined, and how they are really passionate to talk about Christ and how real He is to them. The amazing thing is, most of their Sundays involve them sitting and standing up from their seats only, but they are able to translate it outside church into their daily quiet times and make Godly decisions. I really really strive to be like them in their approach to be like Christ.

I can never really say to anyone that worship that Sunday was really Spirit-moving, or the sermon really spoke to me, or I learnt something totally new just from listening to pastor. Except on quite rare occasions. I'm not saying my church leaders and pastor and worship team is lousy or bad or anything like that. I just think that my church really needs a huge revival to want to know God better. And at the same time still remain faithful to the Salvation Army traditions and doctrines. At the end of the day I can sit down with church leaders and name all the faults and problems, and we can employ all the appropriate people or actions to solve it, but in the end it'll just be a people-led movement and not something from God.

And woah. If I ever pull myself out from all the leadership roles and just be content with going to church for the services without any involvement, I think I wouldn't have made God a priority in my life. I know they keep saying that it's not about just seeking and involving God in church, it should be an everyday affair, something that we should do daily to build the relationship. But I find it disturbing sometimes when I can't even feel God or learn anything new within church! I'm going church out of habit and because I've got commitments to fulfil. How to talk about outside of church in this case? How to grow deeper in the Word???

Everyone wants to be in the knowledge, in the clear, in the truth, in the light. No one really likes to be deceived or kept from knowing some things.

The thing is, how not to be disappointed by something that seemingly may not concern you, but you would really really like to know of its happenings. It's not as if you can change things or you can can stop it from happening. It's just good that you want to know.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" -Hebrews 11:1

I guess that one of my motivations to do many of the things I'm doing now, stems from my own desire that people will eventually share the same interests in the things that I am interested in. Take for instance trying to be environmentally-friendly and greenie and trying to learn about birds and trees and animals. I want to create awareness in that area and to share the intricacies of the diversity of wildlife. And it speaks the same for what I do in church too, like I want people to discover the same God that I find real to me, to assist people to worship Him and for God's glory to be magnified.

It's the same expectations when I'm in a new and foreign place too. I would want people to welcome me and talk to me and introduce me to new people and show me around and take a vested interest to get to know me blah blah. And in order for that to happen, I have to be friendly and gregarious enough for people to talk to me in the first place! That gives me more reasons to make an active effort to get to know new people I meet for the first time, and in another sense to reciprocate the friendliness that I would expect to have.

I'm sure there are a lot more reasons to fuel all these "determined purposes", but I'm kinda lazy to blog.

My "do something out of own comfort zone" for the weekend was going down to Heart of God Church alone on Saturday! I ended up separated from Vanessa even though I knew no one else there, because they've got this zone thing and I was introduced to people of my age group instead hahaha. But the new people I met were very friendly, and I really enjoyed the worship and the service. The sermon was really a sermon, because everyone took out their notebooks to take down notes, and I'm the only one there just listening without writing something down! I'm really struck by how everyone there is so serious and so passionate to know God. I only knew one song out of the many they sang for worship, and I learnt something new from the sermon, so I came out of the service full of funny new thoughts!

And yesterday's service was really meaningful and powerful to me, because it reminded me of everything that has been bugging me for the past few months. I thought worship at Heart of God was moving enough already, but yesterday was really an inner desire to want to praise, and feeling the Spirit moving and searching from within. And pastor's message about Salvation Army was a reminder yet again of what the Army stood for and the church roots that I grew up with. It's always interesting for me to note others' reactions when I tell them I'm from Salvation Army, because most people are aware of the social services, but not so much of the church behind it.

I really shouldn't be going into this la, but pastor's message prompted me to think again what it means to know God in a Salvation Army church, amidst all the doctrines and soldiership and social services. I used to have this weird idea that being part of Salvation Army means nothing if you're not a soldier and if you don't embrace the doctrines and the people you want to reach out to. Like, what is the point of knowing God through this church when you can be worshipping God at a million other churches? Okay laa I'm don't really think like that anymore. It's really really seeking God first in everything that you do, and knowing Him and worshipping Him because of the relationship you want to cultivate.

Long long chats with Vanessa and Auntie Joanna last night made me realise there's a huge gulf of difference between knowing about God, and knowing Him personally for who He is and what He's done for us. I can know all the right things to say, I can easily draft out a short message on any topic from the Bible, I can sing and dance and preach and lead and mentor, but all of these will just keep scratching at the surface without me chasing after a real relationship with the Almighty. And that's the real essence behind a strong spiritual walk with God, isn't it? It's even more than setting aside quiet time everyday, hard as that may already seem, but to involve Him in every step of our life, our decisions, how we choose to behave around others, how to aim to be like Christ.

And it brought back to mind something I took back from Hong Kong. "Don't expect Salvation Army or any church to change its values, but seek God first and chase after His heart". It made perfect sense at that time, and now I wish all the more to enjoy a more intimate relationship with God. I'm frustrated with so many things and I keep getting caught up with the doings! I always think that it's difficult to reconcile the church level and the personal level, like we can't really have passionate people for Christ if the church is not moving, or we can have the best sermons and worship but if people are hardened, then it's useless too. And there's a world of difference between being active in church, and being active in the kingdom of God. My consolation is that God is still the same everywhere no matter how we choose to praise Him, and to each his own preference or style of worship or spiritual gifts or whatever, God will never change for the sake of us, but it's more of us surrendering our selves and moulding ourselves into His likeliness.

I don't know what I want la. Then again it's not really about what I want, but what God wants. I'm encouraged and dampened at the same time, and it's really terrible because I don't really know where to go or what to do. I want to develop a stronger relationship with God that doesn't come from the serving, but from the way I am living. It's true it's true haha the number of times I've led worship numbers approximately a million times, but the number of times that I actually feel like I'm worshipping God and being ministered and feeling His Spirit move in me, it's within the fingers of one hand. Yurong is right haha the technicalities are too much of a distraction.

I need to change my perspective. My ideas of a passionate church has to do with intiated people coming forward to fix things and beginning change and being history makers. I need to remember that it's faith in the Lord, not faith in the church! Maybe I'm too pragmatic and practical, but I need to remember that it should be a God-focused revival rather than we keep doing things.

It's really great to hear of how the Lord is moving in someone's life, and it's even more of an encouragement to me when I know the person's before and after. Somewhat like those slimming advertisments. And for every single reason that I believe it can happen, I'd like to keep hope that God is behind each of the reason. I constantly feel like I can grow and serve in a much larger capacity than wherever I am now, but I realise that may be because I've been too antagonistic in the things we don't have, rather than rejoice at how far we've come without. Most importantly, I'm forgetting that God does allow opportunities for me to grow right where I am now, and sometimes I turn them down because I'm too prideful or I'm too afraid.

I should start charging money for every person who learns guitar from me hahaha. I'm not the best guitarist, but I'll teach you all the Lazy Guan You methods hahaha.

Chinese New Year every year has always been pretty low-profile for me. Anything fanciful or out of the norm stops at reunion dinner and visiting at my grandmother's place. But this year I didn't even get to visit my grandma okay! Half the world is visiting each other in different halves of their world and being merry and dandy, but I was stuck in camp with sore neck and blister on foot. All my hongbaos were hand-me-downs from my parents who were proxies for my relatives haha.

And how come they're showing crappy TV shows during Chinese New Year! I would expect a lot more TV viewership on public holidays, isn't it?? Not that I watch TV very frequently la, but the shows yesterday on all the channels were very nonsensical.

But the nice and fattening snacks redeemed this year's miserable festive mood. Hahaha it's not Chinese New Year without bak kwa! Gosh all the fats swimming in my body. And I mistook the solar eclipse for rainy weather!

And and and, no worship leading for the whole of February! It's been more than eight or nine months since I last went one month without leading. My first step towards uncluttering my life haha.

Major Bob is one of the few people I know who always always emphasise on receiving God's blessings, and taking this divine love as something that is meant for each and every single person who accepts the salvation plan. Or maybe it was the occasions that made the difference, because what I remember best of his sermons in the last two years were his Christmas ones and Easter, and today is Chinese New Year. It's mostly to the effect of finding rest in God's solace, or about receiving and not doing all the time, or there's something good for everyone, or blessings overflowing.

To some extent, I believe there are enough controversy on these kinds of "prosperity" messages. I'm not doubting that God will stop His blessings or that everything works for the good for those who love Him. The danger is that we might take all of these for granted and the demand for good things in our lives outweigh our need for intimacy with Him. Nevertheless, it's always refreshing to me because I don't have much exposure to such topics. It's always very apt for me because I feel like I'm always giving and doing things, both by my own necessity and my nature. I don't have to be in control, but I want to serve to the best of my capacity, as a sacrifice and as an offering of praise.

And Major Bob's message today corroborated with the current book I'm reading now. It was sort of saying that the world is run by busy and tired people, especially people who can preach and can sing and can play instruments and can chair meetings and can get things done and still can do a million other things. And the resonant advice was to just say no, to avoid cluttering up your life and losing focus of how simplistic your relationship with God can be. It spoke a lot to me la, because I don't say no very often haha. I need to receive what God has to offer to me too, instead of giving all the time.

But the confusing thing was that I'm not losing focus of the goal, and I'm getting motivation from serving God and not from the things I'm doing! Actually the more I serve, the more I learnt and the closer to God I became. This is especially so for things that I put a lot of effort in it, and I sometimes don't see the desired results, but I learnt a lot from the preparation and I'm reminded that I'm seeking to please Him and cultivate a deeper relationship with Him. And if not for all the opportunities and avenues to do what I am doing now, I probably will never get the impetus to even get to know Him better in the first place. I don't know la haha I could stop doing things like organise parties or games day or stuff like that hahaha.

Okay and no she didn't go away eventually. In fact she materialised right in front of my face, so that I don't have to keep banishing away the memories. This is one chance encounter with someone I haven't seen in a long time that I'd rather not have! Kind of a bad culmination to a very nostalgic week. Sigh I gave up trying also, and I'm astounded at how much emotion has been put in over the years. Hard to stay unmoved, and hard to believe I used to be young and naive too haha. I could go on and on about this but I'm very sad already la.

Back to discouragements! This is an emo post hehh. Sometimes I feel a bit frustrated and disappointed when I try my hardest to do things for people, and they don't respond in the way that I wish they would. And ultimately I cannot impose my will upon them because it's not me living through them. I don't care about their appreciation for me I'd rather they appreciate Christ better, and I don't want to sound didactic and I don't want to reprimand and I don't know how else to say it la.

It's been quite a weekend la. I'm grateful for the small blessings that has happened, it kinda made up for all the other negative stuff that is going on. I'm still tired and feeling sick! But it's not all doomy and gloomy, although I realised that I'm a lot more prone to feeling irritated at things and with people. Mark and Kenneth said I sound dismissive and angry sometimes in the way I speak! Okay maybe it's the way I speak sometimes, but it's probably not very reflective of my actual emotions! I'm mostly happy and I will try to be more friendly, but if I'm irritated it will sound like my normal "dismissive and angry", and that will be a good thing because I don't want people to think I'm irritated with them (when I don't want them to know). I'm trying very hard to be patient!!

Loads of giggling and baking cookies and shopping and leading worship. It's difficult to remain angry la, even amidst my dissatisfaction and my own personal stuff la. Sometimes I get my encouragement just from their willingness to try to do things, even if they don't do it very well. I was once in that age and in those phases I too wanted acceptance and people that I can look up to and I had my fair share of stupidity, so why can't them?

And is it possible to sing I Could Sing of Your Love for half an hour without getting tired of it and without compromising the focus on how we can always sing of God's love forever.

Of late, it seems as if she has left some imprint everywhere I go, for them to come back and haunt me now! I chanced upon her old Christmas gifts at a friend's house, then all of a sudden I start meeting her old friends whom I haven't seen in ages. And some errant letter that wasn't filed in the folder turned up unexpectedly while I was cleaning my room! Even girls that look like her in the remotest resemblance! It's not like I'm trying to hide and shelve my memories away, but I'm not really keen on them resurfacing in such a manner either.

Go away go away go away!!

Horrid cough refuses to go away either. I'm dousing water everywhere and going to the toilet everywhere too. I'm on to my second dozen of Strepsils in 3 days! But it's getting better laa. Slightly.

From Sam!


#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be ?
- Ehh, I'd feel betrayed!

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?
- Keep five million ducks in my million acre backyard.

3. What will your dream wedding be like ?
- Simple, but the wife has to accede to this.

#5. What's your ideal lover like ?
- I did a blog post on this before already!

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone ?
- Loving someone.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love ?
- It kinda depends hahaha, although most likely not very long.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do ?
- Move on!

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days ?
- Yeah.

#10.What do you want most in life ?
- Lemons.

#11. Is being tagged fun ?
- Okaaayy...

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time ?
- Opening my ice cream stall.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you ?
- God.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
- Sam's silly and weird and she's a girl.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor ?
- Single and rich. I'd want my wife to enjoy life as a tai tai!

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
- Cat.

17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do ?
- Eat fried insects.

#18. What kind of person do u think u are ?
- Nice and awesome and splendid!!!!!!!!

#19. What do you define as a bad day ?
- Everyday's good!

#20. If you have to choose between love (as in boy-girl relationships) and friendship, what would it be ?
- Friendship.

My next targets are:

Yurong, just for the kick of it!

When I was a lot younger, my mum used to tell me off for not eating the bread crusts in all the sandwiches that she made for breakfast! And I still remember her reasoning for me okay! She said that people who do not eat bread crusts are people who cannot take hardships in their lives. Because of that, I always make sure I finish all my bread crusts, just to prove to her that I'm hardy and strong enough!

That's not the only instance okay! She used to tell me not to whistle at night too, or some ghost will come and find me at night when I'm sleeping. And she sort of forced me to eat my vegetables by constantly comparing me to my cousins, whose mothers never ever cared whether they ate veggies or not. And she told me to finish all the food on my plate, or I would eventually marry a wife with many pimples on her face and she will waste a lot of food just like I did! So you can sort of imagine the kind of stuff I was afraid of when I was still a little boy, easily influenced by all these silly threats.

Of course now that I think back, I know that my mum just didn't want me to waste food, and she probably wanted me to shut up at night because I just started learning how to whistle at that time! But it was effective in a way la, like how I'm not very choosy over vegetables, and I'll gladly eat all my bread crumbs and I try not to waste food and I try not to be picky over what I eat.

Gosh my mum's methods are so oddball!! But I wouldn't have known of a better way to make sure I grew up to be the person I am today. Not that I think that eating vegetables has a very strong impact on your character building, but I think it's all these small small things in a person that determines and defines attitude? My mum didn't exactly cared about my results in school, she didn't really control who I hang out with or where I go or what I do. She kinda trusted me with a lot of things, and I would have very easily turned into some delinquent or some criminal or something.

Eh okaay I don't know what is the point of this post, but it's just hilarious to me to think that I cannot whistle at night. I love my mum =)