Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Next semester I am sooo going to fight for all the modules which does not require group work! I think I have relatively nice project mates, as in that they are nice friends to have la. But I think it's a totally different thing when it comes to academic writing! UGHH I think it really gets on my nerves and I don't want to complain complain complain. I rather do a solo piece of work and if I get lousy grades or if I make a really bad mistake, then at least I can only blame myself.

And it's crunch time now, my last two projects are due by this weekend. Following that is revision and exams. Oh well, getting really busy to have much spare time at all.

And today's the first official and real Tues where I don't have to stay in school till 6pm and get caught in the traffic jam back home.




Sunday, November 08, 2009

I feel quite terrible neglecting this virtual space to organise my thoughts. Even though my blog page is my internet browser home page, so everytime I open Mozilla it "invariably and inevitably" opens up to my blog. But I've really been too busy in school or in church or doing other things. Tonnes of stuff in my to-do list and every day it's a battle with the clock to finish my work on time so that I can get at least 4 to 5 hours of sleep. In the past I would adopt the work-first-sleep-later mindset, but I can't do that now haha age is creeping up with me. If I don't sleep enough, the sleep debt rolls over and accumulates and drags me under.

Highlight of the week was meeting Jaslyn by a chance encounter in school, and we spent my 3 hour break studying eating and her providing valuable insights for my life. Haha which was really enlightening, because my thoughts are in shambles now and that was just what I need.

And getting rejected to donate blood again! I want to be a willing blood donor, but they keep rejecting me! This time due to stupid cough syrup, because it might pose some allergic reactions. And this is the third time! First was in JC when I wasn't 18 yet and I didn't sign the parental form. Second was fever a week ago, so I can't donate. But it's really silly because I have no phobia of needles and they poked me at least twice in army to draw blood. In the end, of Rachel Dezmand Cassandra and myself, only Cass passed all the tests to donate.

Okay. Will try to update this space more if I could.




Friday, October 30, 2009

Kinda depressed, because I've got a ready-made "how to share the gospel" sermon outline that I planned to use for tomorrow's message, but I lost that piece of paper! I have no idea where it disappeared to either, it was lost in school, and I'm quite sure I kept it in my folder, but it just mysteriously went missing. And I'm quite sad too, because it was a letter/note from Chris Chen which I've kept for 5 or 6 years too! Maybe God's trying to tell me not to be lazy and to just come up with the points myself, rather than just basing it entirely on Chris' outline ahaha.

In any case I've reached the end of my school week. Which is really great haha.




Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It was Andrea's birthday today, and Eunice Joelynn and Charmel tricked her into coming for guitar lesson at church just so that we could celebrate for her! Not the best surprise hahaha but it was still fun, and we had a hoot of a time with the vacuum cleaner. Here's the compiled pictures:






Monday, October 26, 2009

Just came home not too long ago from Gracehaven! It's the last service for this year because they usually have a break in the long school holidays. And to "commemorate" that, it was a combined worship service from the bands of all three corps! Kinda massive, but the transitions were smooth and everything was pretty fine. And tonight was one of the few worship leading nights that I'm actually lucid throughout and able to focus clearly.

Think this entire Gracehaven project for this whole year has impacted my personal spiritual journey in quite a significant manner. It puts in perspective for me what it means to worship in a Salvation Army church. You know, like it's one thing for your own heart to God, but there's another for your hand to man. And Gracehaven is sort of like the epitome of my outreach to the lost, last and least haha. Okay they're not really that lost, last and least. But every time I'm there, be it to lead worship or to distribute posters or for games or meetings or whatever, my heart really goes towards the children over there. It can be simple as seeing their names on the whiteboard with all the notices and birthday reminders, or them studying, little sights like that which break my heart.

Dunno la, I'd like to think that God's going to come one day and POOF, everyone's saved including the Gracehaven children and all's fine and dandy. But truth is there's a strong need for ministry in that area, and I really want to do something. Maybe I should just consider working full-time there la hahaha. And when I took the corps' worship ministry to Gracehaven, I wasn't expecting 100% dividends and I was thinking that let's just commit to half a year and see where it takes us. Then half a year became a full year, and each time it's still refreshing and it's still a revelation.

Worship's kinda limited, you know. Like what we do onstage is just kept up there, but there's not much interaction and nothing really life-changing is going on. But it's still somewhere and somehow and something, which is why I'm constantly amazed at how God turns our junk into something magnificent. It's not all music and airy-fairy stuff either. There are some genuine friendships made and I'm thankful for that. I do see them around at various combined meetings or activities, and each time it's heartening to know that God is getting them to where he wants them to go.

But yep. It's been a good experience there this year. Kinda glad that it's over, because it was a massive emotional toll on me, even though each time we're just playing for 20 minutes up there. At the same time, it's kinda sad that the year just flew by like that and we're hitting November. Catharsis hhahaha. In any case it's been good, and ministry isn't ministry without heart to God and hand to man. My thoughts are with Gracehaven.




Saturday, October 24, 2009

I've finally reached the end of this week! And in good measure too. I've had 3 project assignments and reports to be submitted by Thursday or Friday, and I'm mightily glad to say that I'm completed with all of them! That's quite a significant amount of work off my back for this semester actually.

And first thing I need to do is to catch up on all the lost sleep. All the late nights trying to rush the final final draft cumulated in an immense amount of sleep debt. And this weekend shall be more relaxed instead of trying to rush work!




Monday, October 19, 2009

Too busy for anything. I'm not really looking forward to the start of this week because I've got three deadlines to adhere to Thursday or Friday! They're relatively easy and manageable la, but the thought that I have to spend significant time on them is really quite daunting!

Anyway, I'm trying to start my exams revision. It's not till end of November, but if you put it in perspective, it's actually slightly more than a month away. And I've realised this year that a month's time is actually not very long, so I'm trying to re-read all my readings and tutorials and lecture notes so that I'm not caught out 2 weeks before exams and I still haven't started anything. Gives me some measure of peace and frees up time for other things.

Matthew sang 'Did you feel the mountains tremble' on Friday, and Chris led it too this morning. That song feels very 1990s because I heard it for the first time when I was still in Sunday School pre-teens or something, and how I remember Ben Wong and Sharon were practising it for worship when I was in Sec 1 but they didn't sing it in the end because it was too high. That song has always been marked by a sense of grandeur and magnificence, don't think I've had opportunities to sing it much over the years (I've certainly never led it before), but it's just reminiscient of how I liked the analogies to nature and how God is bigger than that, with all that sympathetic background things going on.

And a small trivia. Hillsong's 'Hosanna' is pretty much a common song to everyone in church now, but I've only truly really fittingly led it for the first time last Sunday at Gracehaven. Haha.




Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm kinda sianzxz now, because I dropped my laptop!! Okay la I'm blogging from this current laptop, so I don't suppose there are any functionality damages. But there's a small crack on the bottom left screen exterior. There's nothing wrong with it actually, it's not affecting the screen display and there's no difficulty closing the laptop, but just that small crack which is a real downer hahaha. Okay la if I don't even tell you that there's that deficiency, you wouldn't even notice it! But not noticeable doesn't change the fact that it's not there!

This is a real shame because laptop is about 3 months old only?? The same goes for my phone haha. Within like a month after I got it, it succeeded in getting nasty scratches on the shiny front. Dropped on the bus when the bus was braking and then it scrapped against the floor. Hahaha my laptop dropped while I was swatting a fly and talking to Eunice at the same time. Not her fault, the fly's fault. And I destroyed a thumbdrive in that process too, the thumbdrive split into two and I'm able to see all the blinking lights and whatever that's going on inside. Haha!

But I'm thinking that this is a good thing, because now I would be more liberal with my laptop and my phone! Like I wouldn't mind using it in harsher conditions now, or I wouldn't really mind if it gets an extra knock or scratch or something, or if it gets dirty or smudgy I wouldn't be as fastidious to wipe clean every smear. It's the same for us with every new gadget isn't it? We'll protect it with our lives, and take extreme care not to get it scratched dropped whatever. Until it suffers its first mishap hahaha.

Think I need to start detaching myself from getting too personal with all my belongings. Then if it gets lost or damaged or whatever, I wouldn't feel so terrible. But it's hard to leave out that sense of belonging, you know, like if I get a new car, the tendency would be to protect and maintain it too, considering the amount of money I spent. I think don't get too caught up with human stuff of this world is a good thing. In heaven there are probably everlasting iPods and HP laptops and Sony Ericsson phones that will never get scratched. Hahaha or maybe we don't even need that for heaven.




Monday, October 12, 2009

Nursing a throbbing headache and a very bad sore throat and cough. Aiyo hahaha I think I talked too much while giving tuition. But yeah, it's really terrible because I can't get out of bed this morning for service. But maybe it's because of the 4am Geog project last night too?

In any case, Gracehaven worship was pretty fine. This time it was slightly less active than the previous? But it's still good la, always a priviledge to lead worship there and talking to some of the children who always say hi to me. I think it takes quite a conscious effort to keep my eyes and ears open amidst the noise of all the instruments! To either hear them singing, or to listen to God's voice. Leading worship is sooo much different from giving a message, cos of the musicality that just keeps going and you really have to be on your toes for anything.

Alright, today was a good break. Next week is another school week again, time to go back to studying!




Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sleepless at 3.30am in the middle of the night, but it's cause for celebration because I FINISHED GEOGRAPHY ESSAY, for both tasks! Okay technically speaking it's not printed yet so it ain't finished, and it's still subjected to my partner's comments on my final drafts. But this Geog took way too long to complete. But in any case, it's over, at least for my part. Now I can't wait to get to bed, and looking forward to Gracehaven in another approximately 16 hours time?




Friday, October 09, 2009

Forgot that there was Corps prayer meeting yesterday night, despite receiving the SMS reminder that was sent out. And this is the second time that I've missed a prayer meeting which I wanted to attend! Last week I kept in mind Hui Min's youth prayer meeting, but at the actual time that it was happenening, I was happily doing projection slides because I thought I had all the time in the world. But yeah, prayer is very important.

I've been really busy with a lot of work and I've barely got time to do anything else. And the tendency is to start getting impatient at every small thing and complain and complain and complain! Khairul is like my sponge haha he absorbs all my gripes about irritating people ranging from flirtatious, scandalous, immature, incompetent to idiotic. But I really cannot help it la hahaha I think next semester, as far as possible I'm going to take all the modules that doesn't require group work of any sort.

The importance of sleep is imperative too. I realised that if I do not sleep at least seven hours a day, I won't have sufficient energy to last through the day. And it's like a snowball effect, the tiredness accumulates and the sleep debt has to be paid off. So I'm aiming to calculate stringently the time that I'm required to be awake next morning, and then go to bed diligently at that time. No matter how early in the night (although that's quite rare haha my usual bedtime is 1am).

My phone rings non-stop throughout the day. You've got to be a Sec 1 and 2 cell leader to appreciate this though. Hahaha!

Gracehaven worship this Sunday. This has got to be one of the calmest lull before the actual storm. I'm absolutely NOT nervous or anxious at all, partly because I've got my mind full of other things, but the lack of worry makes me worried, like have I forgotten to do something or whatever. I know that I haven't been the most stilled or most calm person the past few days, so maybe I really do need to quieten down myself a bit for this weekend and let that authority take over. I keep wondering how God makes the junk that we create into something that is acceptable and pleasing, and how God makes an art of my imperfect worship leading and playing. Kinda incongruous, but I'm not on Singapore Idol, so it really really really isn't a performance la.

Letting go, it's been a tiring week with not much breather, and the weekend looks to be very, very, very busy. Haiz..........




Monday, October 05, 2009

Really don't have the time at all to do "frivolous" things like blogging hahaha, although I could still be found on Plurk and Twitter. But compared to emotional catharsis, this is so much better, blogging gives me a perspective not found from limiting myself to a sentence or 160 characters!

Anyway, been busy with a lot of school work and studies and rushing a Geography essay which has taken far too long to complete. I spent 2 nights on the introduction alone! But the amount of work I did was equivalent to actually going down to the library and getting sources okay, so I commend myself for all the good publications from e-books and e-journals. If not I'm busy settling admin stuff, which just really means that I need to hire a secretary, and I'm studying. It's a bit nerd nerd no life, but I've got time to go play too la hahaha.

And finally began teaching tuition for this girl! How do you tuition Literature haha I ran out of things to say after an hour. But yep I realised that A'Levels are so much easier than whatever I'm doing now. Maybe it's an age-related thing. The older you are, your level of understanding increases. Whatever that was complicated to me at 17 are easily grasped concepts now. So that means going to university at 21 holds a slight advantage over the girls at 19!




Monday, September 28, 2009

Taking some time off to keep this blog alive and throbbing! Anyway, the weekend was quite meaningful. I was either studying or trying to coordinate some work or worrying about worship leading. Commissioners Lim came down on Sunday to preach at our corps, and it was a real blessing to listen to their words again. And worship segment itself was quite blessed. And that same afternoon after service, I was out with Aunty Adeline, with Janice and Joylene and Cheyenne for lunch at AMK Hub, nice catching up!

Okie, back to work and studying!




Friday, September 25, 2009

This is turning to be quite a Geography week! Past two or three days I've been revising my Geog notes and readings, largely because I only have one mid-term exam (English) for this semester, and I've been keeping quite consistent with that module's work so I don't have to recap so much. Yesterday was at Bishan library with Eunice because she wanted help with her Geog! And today's project fieldwork with Daryl at ION Orchard for our Geog project.

Think the fieldwork was quite interesting, haha we had to interview some foreigners for some tourism slogan thing, and we met quite nice people who were willing to spend time to talk to us. Then the rest of the interviewees the approach was like "let's just try to get cute girls", because we've got to take photo with them too! Haha! And yesterday with Eunice just proved one thing; that I've been studying the same topics over and over again since sec one! I realised that the broad topics like population and tourism and whatever are still the same, but it's the depth and focus that changes as I'm moving up the education level. Like secondary school I don't have some models and I don't need to do a lot of analysis. But for A'levels that's very crucial. Now university I'm reading the same things except that they are in much more complicated concepts.

I'll most likely major in Geog la. Heh!

And and and, I won someone in tic-tac-toe!! Cross is me.


But I lost twice haha thanks to cheating! I'm circle now.






Monday, September 21, 2009

Quite an interesting night for me. Jolene messaged me after Sunday service this morning that she will be staying over in the church building the whole night! So naturally the question was why. It turned out that the Chinese Corps were having a Bible marathon reading session, and it was decided to be ongoing through the night because tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji holiday. It sounded quite odd to me, because I've never heard of a Bible reading marathon before, although I must admit it sounds like a good idea. They have everyone on a rotation list, and each person is to read an entire chapter starting from the book of Genesis.

So I told Jolene that it sounded really cool, and I also wanted to recite a Bible chapter! When I went up to the Chinese Corps building, they were in the midst of the book of Numbers. I was rostered to read Numbers 35. Then next came the option of reading it in Chinese language! Hahahaha my command of Chinese is not that terrible okay, but I realised that I cannot read fluently in 泛体字! So never mind it was okay if I read in English. And I must admit I've got an easy chapter. Numbers 33 and 34 had so many places and references and names! I can't even pronounce all of them in English, much less Chinese hahaha!

But it was a good experience, it's 3am in the morning as I'm blogging this and they are still going on! They are at the start of the book of Judges now. I do question the efficacy slightly, I only sat through about 10 chapters and I'm zonked already! But I've never succeeded in getting very far through the first book, much less until Numbers! The track record for the New Testament is much much better hahaha.

And shortly after that, Cheyenne called me on the phone and we were on phone conference with Janice and Roxanne. The agenda was to pray together! The idea sounded quite cool, because I don't even know how to activate phone conferencing on my phone. I've never prayed over the phone before either! But it was good, we took turns and it wasn't that much different from normal praying. There's a certain joy from listening to them and it's a really big encouragement too. Think this is one of the finer points of cell group leading and ministry, haha it's not life-changing but it's edifying.

I feel kinda bad for my behaviour at worship prac.

3:20am now, think I should be going to bed.




Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I made use of my free day to catch up with my readings, and to give Celine a visit at her house! She's sick with runny nose and sore eyes, although her eyes don't look abnormal in any way. But yup, I went down to say hello and to cook alphabet soup for her!

Tadaa.








I feel like a naughty student haha this week has barely started and I've skipped/missed two lectures already! And just in case you're thinking that I'm some perpetual problem kid who can't be bothered to attend my classes, I haven't skipped or missed anything since I started uni! Until yesterday that is. Hahaha for yesterday's English lecture I was 20 minutes late, and the lecturer is very particular about latecomers so I went to the library to study instead. And today's Cultural Studies lecture was at 10am, but I only woke up at 10.40am!

But it's really quite terrible, I've got quite a lot of things to do or to study and I haven't got the time. Very sleepy also, not getting enough sleep, hence oversleeping and missing classes and half the day is gone!

Sent Shi Hui off to London yesterday, and went Ikea with Aaron and Joel during my 3-hour break yesterday too because they took off from army to be out for her.

Okie I should be going to study, now that I've got a free day. Thankfully there's only one lecture today!




Saturday, September 12, 2009

Vanessa dropped by for cell group and to say hello to Aunty Toh Tzu and Aunty Joanna this Friday evening. And it's always good to be able to catch up with her! Most of the time, we are limited to the occasional chance meetings, which I don't think it's very intentional and very sincere because we stay a few blocks from each other, so obviously I should see her around quite frequently! But she decided to visit today for a longer chat, and silly girl was so afraid that everyone has forgotten her already haha.

I think she's one of the few people I know that I'm just so encouraged each time I get the opportunity to talk to her. There's always this passion in her to want to know more about God and to serve and minister and share, and for me it's a blessing to witness such Christ-like joy in a friend's life.

School projects and readings and church work stuff and so many others. Loads to do! But enjoying the challenges, I'm still in a piece, although I'm slightly behind schedule. In the middle of this year I've resolved to get things done way before they are due, but I'm trying to ease up now because I realised that it becomes too stressful (although it's meant to create less stress).




Thursday, September 10, 2009

In some dire need for sleep now, because I've got so many things to do that I'm cutting back on my sleep just to get them done. Which isn't the ideal sense, but don't really have a choice, very busy! I'm into cat naps again haha short 20 minute naps here and there and everywhere, and trying to pay back over the weekends. Constantly sleepy. Drowning in too much things to read. But still quite alive.


Which reminds me of the classic example of how men in army can just fall asleep everywhere, because they have learnt how to make use of even the shortest breaks just to get their forty winks. I don't remember being that desperate for sleep, but Aaron certainly does it well haha.

This is him left behind, and where's everyone else??!!






Monday, September 07, 2009

Slightly sick, I'm battling a persistent flu since last night. And the medicine that I took is supposed to be non-drowsy, but it's making me feel very drugged. I'm not sleepy but I'm like woozy and head-spinning.

Tried to play catch-up with my readings today. I ended up just skimming through to get the general idea. Haha so wordy and so boring! So much said for just a very simple idea. What's wrong with them, I thought concise and precise language is the way to go!

And Sylvia Plath's Ariel reminds me of Ted Hughes all over again. No wonder they're married! Gosh so raw and so powerful.