So after last night's gave-it-all Good Friday youth service, I'm now in some state of atrophy because I'm really just very exhausted! I wonder how do the pastors and worship leaders of churches with large congregations do it, week in week out they have mega services with just about the same level of high energy! Read somewhere that Mondays are sometimes a bad time for a pastor to take a break from the weekends because of all the adrenaline high and they will feel like they will want to keep going on! Haha I think I definitely won't fit into that bill, I'm so tired and drained out. 

The service was massive, I'm really glad to be part of the church with people who are genuinely sincere in loving God. Was battling cough and cold and couldn't sing most of the stuff that I want to sing, but somehow somewhere I could hear people who just kept on singing and singing and singing even though I stopped telling them where to go next, and they were basically just leading for me. Haha maybe it was the rest of the vocalists aiya I'm not sure I only know it sounded angelic and nothing like I've heard before. 

And it's only Saturday today. Weird thing about having a public holiday on Friday automatically makes it feel like it's Sunday. I'm thankful for the speedy and timely recovery, even though I still feel unwell slightly. And it gives me a breather for Sunday to make some semblance of the entire Easter significance.  

Just came off a super high fever, I hit 39.1 degrees last night and it was quite scary because I remember hallucinating slightly and kept tossing in bed and couldn't sleep! But the fever broke this afternoon, I'm now in a race to get fit for tomorrow. Leading worship for Good Friday tomorrow, and probably think that I cannot reach the high notes because my voice is quite affected. Haha will see how tomorrow.

Revision is in shambles because of this dratted sickness. But I shall catch up! 

I'm not doing particularly very well this semester, haha majority of the assignments and tests and essays that I've gotten back so far were a huge SIGH. It almost makes it not worthwhile to have spent so much time on it. But aargh whatever, it's time to study for exams! A few days ago I just learnt that you cannot S/U those modules that are within your own faculty!! All along I thought that you only can't S/U the major modules only, and I was still happily thinking that if anything I can make use of that option because I haven't S/U-ed anything since I started my undergraduate course! Oh my gosh all of a sudden I have to study really hard and not be complacent. And I have two more small assignments which are bothering me. I just can't wait to get them over and done with, but at the same time I feel like I want to ace them because of all the poor results so far, so it's taking longer than usual. 

Minor updates of the weekend included Gracehaven worship service, which as always is ever a blessing for me to be there. I think the dynamics of Gracehaven changed a lot since I first went there, but it's still great to be part of something greater. And the topic for that evening was the 40 Days of Purpose topic on how we were each made to last forever, so I said something like "life is a dress rehearsal for the Kingdom of heaven". But Colonel Downer went up and said something to the effect of "life is not a rehearsal because you only get one chance at it, so live it well". Hahaha I am slightly puzzled at the antithetical conclusions! Both makes sense to me and I don't think she was rebuking me when she said that, but it got me panicked slightly because I almost thought I said the wrong thing! Anyone with the theology to help me hahaha email me please. 

And the last update have to do with the cell members. Been trying to go out with them for breakfasts and dinners as much as my time allows. It's supposed to help me slightly too, because I'll ask them out for breakfasts before Sunday service, hence it forces me to wake up earlier and be on time for service too! And have been trying to support in prayer and in all the "pastoral visits" as much as I can. Sometimes I think it's a burden and a chore, other times I thank God for the opportunity to be a part of their lives. I think the greatest joy comes from growth and positive influence, and when they begin to trust you for the little things it makes it all the more worthwhile. Someone told me somewhere that cell leaders have to get down and dirty with the members all the time, so would the meal times be considered down and dirty? Heh! At the beginning of this year I said will commit to one more  year (or was it one last) of cell group leading, which will most likely extend beyond that I think hahaha but I'm refusing to think any further than the end of this year. Because it forces me to think of how much I can achieve within this time that I have, and it's more effective and more goal-oriented and such.. 

It's been a three week hiatus for this blog space/place haha, but I'm just coming off the busiest times for almost every NUS undergrad! Was crazy with loads of last minute essays and projects and presentations, but have managed to plough through all of them. Yesterday night I went to bed at 10pm for the first time in weeks or months I have no idea. It's real funny how when I was younger I refused to go sleep at 10pm ever, but now if I ever do get the chance to sleep that early I'll gladly grab it. My to-do list seems to be never-ending it just keeps adding to itself! No sooner have I cleared the list for the night, the next night it just adds on a new set of stuff that needs to be completed.

Thoughts that are going a lot through my head are how I'm really rusty in worship leading and guitar on-stage, how I have stopped reading any of my notes since the mid-term break, how to keep reaching out to the cell group, whether I should buy more frivolous stuff like shades or a really cool film camera, and so on.

Revival's in the air.