Tuesday 31 October 2006

And the countdown continues. I'm 2 days away from A'Levels GP paper. Haven't done anything for it except to go through some of those old dusty notes from goodness knows when. Oh well forget it I think I'm going into the exam hall and hope that my brilliance will be sufficient to overcome the paper. My sheer intelligence will outshine the paper and blind everyone in the room and they can't do the paper and I'll complete mine and they will all fail.

Anyway, today was spent in the school library again with Khairi and Annie. The library's freezing. I have to keep taking short breaks to get out for some warmth. I think I underwent numerous freeze-thaw cycles today. That means I'll undergo block disintergration soon.

Ugh. Sometimes I wish the school will self-obliterate or something. Then MOE will go into panic-overdrive and they'll have to arrange for alternative venues for us to take our A's. Then they'll question whether this is really worth the trouble, and they'll just give up on us and we don't have to sit for our A's anymore. I hope aliens zap our school into oblivion. I hope Qiling's cousin unleashes a barrage of bombs at our school. I hope the sun concentrates all it's energy and scorch the school into burnt toast.

Most of all, I long for food. I'm constantly hungry.

Monday 30 October 2006

Okay here we go. Start of A'Levels in 3 days time. Actually it's nothing much right?? It's just another dumb ol' exam. I've been through several major exams already, so I figure that the stress level and everything should be pretty minimal. Well. Okay. Hopefully. I've yet to feel truly stressed out yet. I'm just like, "A's is in 3 days time!! So??" and then I'll go back to studying.

Met Ms Dorothy Chua at the canteen in school today. Think she's back from her maternity leave or something. Actually I didn't even see her until I saw her talking to Khairi. She says the panic and anxiety will probably only kick in the day before the paper begins. Creepy. And the moment that happens, all you have to do is to reassure yourself that you've done this before and you just have to relax and learn to trust.

Yeah okay we'll see by then. Meanwhile I'm hard at work studying. It's not very productive. It's not phenomenal. It's not as if I've finished everything that I need to know. But at least there's some progress somewhere. And I'm SLIGHTLY satisfied with what I've done so far. Confidence. Confidence I must have, to know fully well that whatever I answer on my exam scripts reflect the "arduous" work that I've done for the past 2 years.

Blee. I've been out almost everyday of the week. Mostly hanging out with either Annie, Chiew Yee, Khairi or Qiling (in alphabetical order) at various locations all over Singapore to study. Basically I can study anywhere as long as I'm out of home. I've managed to leave the computer alone and not succumb to its treacherous lurings for me to come online. I mean, I'm only online now to check my mail cos I'm expecting something important. But I've yet to overcome the bed's callings. The ZZZ monsters are constantly bugging me.

Let's see. Last week I did something quite unthinkable. I ventured out of my own "territory" into the western side of Singapore TWICE. Hahaha! Once to Khairi's, another to West Mall. I felt kinda proud of myself cos I rarely go to the west (like, once every 6 months??). Then I was at Ang Mo Kio library studying with Qiling yesterday. Met many many old Cat High guys that are all in Andersen JC now. I've been to school library to study. At KAP for Ms Lim's consultation with Atiqah! Haha I'm sooo funky.

And here's the little snippets. I went through 2 hours on how to counsel someone. Pastor Paul. Anyone with any troubles can come and look for me and I'll help counsel you. Annie decided to visit our youth service last Friday. Haha she happily stood up and introduced herself without Matt's promptings! Yippee. Whitby did 2 poems with me and Beets and Wanyi and Siew and Khairi on Saturday. I caught a cold which took 3 days to recover. I'm not singing anything this week, so I happily went to eat nasi lemak with Khairi at Adam Road.

And I'm still using Chiew Yee's phone. I'm taking 10 minutes to send a message.

Back to maths.

Thursday 26 October 2006

After brooding for 2 or 3 days, I've decided to revert back to my normal happy self and stop being depressed. Actually I also don't know why I'm sad. Everything turned out well in the end. I think I'm upset for no apparent reason at all. Maybe I'm just seeking attention?? Hahaha!! It's nice to receive sympathetic messages or encouragements from people. Except that those messages make me sound like I'm suicidal or I slash my wrists or something. HAHA.

I think when I'm sad, I tend to pretend that everything's alright and fine. The past 2 weeks has been a struggle, but it's much better now. I got a quote in my email that says "You will not get to enjoy today if you're worrying about the past or the future". How apt, especially at a time like this for me. But the first thing that came to my mind after reading that, was Ms Ting's nagging voice in my head telling me that "you MUST talk about the past and present's processes that influence today's deserts landforms". Blooiee.

Okay let's see what I've done for this week. Monday was consultation with Ms Ting with Chiew Yee, then I went for ice cream with Yurong at Island Creamery. Had tuition with Hai Hao. Then evening after dinner I was at Eleanor's house. NOO I didn't stay over again.

Tuesday was a bit more exciting. Khairi had a Hari Raya open house. So I took bus 52 from Bishan all the way to Jurong East. Fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up I thought I was at Expo (silly me thought that Expo is in the West). Toh Guan Road is a good road cos it's got part of my name in it. I chatted a bit with a Korean girl on the bus. Met Annie and Qiling to go shopping for a while at Jurong Point. Then at Khairi's granny's house we met Chiew Yee and Jas. Glorious food. Then his cousins came over. There's this little girl who has a mixed heritage (somewhat like Beets) and her name's Liyana too, and she started kissing everyone's hands so I kissed her mum's hand. And there's another girl who smiled at me and I thought she was 12 or 13?? But she's 20. Played around, was at Jurong Point again to get Qiling's giant Patrick huggie, before I took another hour to reach home.

Yesterday was mugging in school with Annie and Chiew Yee and Qiling in the school library. Wasn't too bad, cos I finished everything on my agenda. Chiew Yee spent the whole day trying to escape from Ms Ng?? Haha! Then I had tuition with Hai Hao again cos his exams are just next week and he wanted more practice.

And today, Ms Ting went through the mock test paper with all of us. I was half asleep in the morning and only woke up at 11am. Somehow under exam conditions, I always end up rambling irrelevant points or focusing on the wrong aspects. When Ms Ting explained it, I immediately see my foolishness, like what I should have focused on or what I could have left out to save time. Why like that arh?? So queer. I need more practice for Geog. Then I actually wanted to stay in school to study but I changed my mind.

Oh oh I told Hai Hao that from now until his exams he can call me anytime if he has any questions for his Science. Well he really did. First time he called me two nights ago, he asked me how does a virus enter the computer. Second time that same night, he asked me when did the dinosaurs became extinct. Then last night he gave me 4 missed calls, so when I called him back he started telling me about how he couldn't fall asleep cos his sister was annoying him and blah blah. Gosh he didn't even ask me relevant questions from his syllabus so far!! Bah but I'm not complaining la cos I've got free incoming anyway.

Which brings me to my point. If anyone wants to chat or whatever, feel free to call me. If you're trying to contact me urgently, call me! As far as possible don't message me cos I'm lazy to type out my reply. Call me call me call me!! I got free incoming talktime!! That's why I like Khairi cos whenever I need to contact him, all I have to do is give him a missed call and he'll call me back in 10 seconds using his house phone. Haha actually that's cos he doesn't have free incoming. But anybody can still CALL ME. Whee.

I swapped phones with Chiew Yee. She wanted my phone's radio function, so we swapped. Her phone's messaging interface is quite different from mine! So yesterday when I sent my first message using her phone I took 15 minutes to type out a short reply. But now I'm more familiar with it already. Haha! Oh and someone gave me a call this morning but I didn't pick it up, and I accidentally exited from the "missed calls" menu. Couldn't find it again anywhere in her phone, so I have to resort to GIVING MYSELF A MISSED CALL JUST TO RETURN BACK TO THAT "MISSED CALLS" MENU JUST TO SEE WHO CALLED. It was Rhoda by the way.

I saw NTU Earthlink's former president Ng Jiawei on the newspapers yesterday. There's this girl who's a member that too but I can't remember her name correctly. Helena? Hannah? Heather? That's not the point. They were among the winners for Bayer Young! Haha I'm happy for them! They're flying to Germany next week. Heard from someone that Boon Wah's their new president now. Whee. How things have changed. I think since I stopped Green Link presidency I lost touch in the "green world". Haha!! I don't know what's happening for what and I don't know who did what or whatever now.

Clean & Green Week for this year begins on November 5. The venue is Republic Poly, think it's a day-long carnival and that Milubing is going to be there. Haha! And the school's carnival is on 14th to 15th November at Expo. They have a Mr and Miss Teen Environment campaign! Click here to vote. Oh my gosh I can't believe how corny this sounds. But it'll be fun I hope, and I'm still deciding whether I should go cos it's right smack in A'levels although I don't have papers on that day.

I forgot to mention. My NS enlistment date is 16th March next year. I'm quite glad cos I've got time to go overseas or do whatever I want.

Photos from Hari Raya at Khairi's. From Khairi or Jas or somebody.







Monday 23 October 2006

Okie. A week since I last posted? I dunno. For the whole of last week I was continually engulfed in an emotional turmoil while preparing myself for leading worship. I was kinda being a bit too hard on myself, trying to get my thoughts right, trying to get my focus right. And I think I ended up being too perfectionistic again? Cos everyday I'll just whip out my guitar at least 3 times a day and try out the 4 songs that I'm leading in various tones and rhythm and whatever. After a while I can memorise the song lyrics by heart, then I got sick of the same old routine so I decided to stop bothering about how I sound technically. I focused more on my emotional turmoil instead?? Haha.

Yea. It's just like what I shared to the musicians and to the youths when I led worship. I was caught up in chasing mortal love and neglected the Christ-like love that's always been there as long as I acknowledge it. I wanted forever, I wanted eternity, I wanted permanence. But I didn't realise that probably nothing in this world is everlasting except God's love and grace for us.

Then I had to face up to my demons too. I'm singing Here I Am To Worship, which I haven't led for one whole year because it was me and Shannon's most favourite and most meaningful song to us?? So I spent the whole week trying to sort out my fear at attempting the song which I know will probably leave me empty-shelled and feeling miserable at her death all over again.

Well the actual worship wasn't that bad when I actually accomplished it. Was 20 minutes late for practice, in a desperate rush to finish everything on time, nervous jitters, and I sort of ran out of breath AND voice at the last chorus of Here I Am To Worship so I don't know how I sounded. I don't care either.

So I'll throw my life upon all that You are
Cos I know You gave it all for me
When all else fades my soul will stand
With You, where the love lasts forever.

Haha okie thinking back now offers me some insight. I think I was too caught up with my own troubles. And I think at one point I was very close to a huge nervous breakdown. But things have a way of turning out well.

Was at J8 with Qiling on Thursday to study. We ended up shopping and we saw Michelle Chia and her boyfriend who was in that Holland V show. They were both abnormally tall and good-looking. Then was at KAP with Annie on Friday to study, although it became a Crescent Girl's gathering in the middle of it. And I did my Physical Geog mock test with a new sense of confidence that I never knew of. Consultation with Ms Sim and Ms Lim. I guess studying and chatting did do some help in shaping my emotional frame.

And now I'm decidedly sad. Moody and feeling stupid. Was out with Qiling and Chiew Yee at West Mall to study yesterday. I lost the tiny little badge that me and Eleanor agreed to wear for the whole week. It just fell off somewhere while we were moving from Coffee Bean to KFC to Mos Burger to somewhere wherever. Gaargh. Then came home and went out to celebrate Mummy's birthday dinner outside.

I wish the world will stop spinning sometimes and everything will be still. Then everyone can leave me alone. I constantly feel as if I'm trapped under people's expectations and that I have to fulfil all these rubbish. WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP WHO SAYS I'M SUPPOSED TO CONFORM TO PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS OF ME?? I'm tired of being someone I'm not. I'm tired of trying to keep up with some unreasonable demand that I have no desire following. And worst of all is that I don't even have to do all these, yet I'm getting stressed out and afraid of not delivering my promises.

I had another one of those long talks with Chiew Yee last night. Till 2.30am in the night?? Blee. I don't know. I went to bed feeling much better cos talking about all those troubling thoughts really help improve my mental stability. The whole of this week I've told people stuff that I've never ever envisioned myself to speak about ever again in my lifetime. Sooner or later I have to face up to my inner demons and confront them one by one again. But for now I'm just happy being the way I am.

I'm astounded at all the scandalous relationships and girl troubles I've gotten myself into for this year. No no I'm not that promiscuous. I'm not flirting with anyone anymore too!! NO NO NO.

But stupidity ensures it's presence even though it's unwanted. I promised myself to not get into anymore girl troubles one week ago, and one week later I'm right smack in one. I hate myself. Maybe I'll pluck up enough courage by tonight. I don't know. I hope. Maybe I'm really commitment-phobic. Maybe I'll never get over it even though I claim to be. But yeah, the best advice I've gotten this week told me to do anything I want to do as long as I don't make myself feel guilty about it.

Tuesday 17 October 2006

I've just got some random incidents to tell about before I resume studying for Physical Geog. Haha I've been wanting to get it off my chest for quite some time now...

Sometime ago, I messaged this girl named Man Nga for some Green Link thingy at the start of this year. I don't know her at all, not even how she looks like. But I do know that she's Jun Ying's classmate. So last Thursday, I received a message from her informing me of this art exhibition by the AEP students in NJ. So I replied back saying that maybe I'll drop by to say hello to her cos I still have no idea who she is. Haha that's when she messaged back asking who am I! It turned out that she had all along thought that my number in her contact list belonged to Jun Ying! Which is quite true. For the whole year I've been receiving SMS-es from her telling me to pay how much for class fund or whatever, and I didn't reply back to tell her that she got the wrong number cos I assumed she knew! Hahaha!! She asked me for Jun Ying's actual number. And I've still yet to know who she is.

Okay here's another SMS mishap of mine. Biru messaged me on Saturday to ask if I can buy Ming Hui a cake for next Friday. I sort of forgot to reply her, but it was partly because I was exceeding this month's phone bills too. So when I received it, I said "OKAY" to my phone to signify that I'll buy Ming Hui's cake, but of course Biru wouldn't know that I said "OKAY". Haha so she angrily confronted me yesterday to demand an explanation, but she wouldn't buy the "OKAY" bit. Blee if ever I don't reply to messages, just take it as I said OKAY!

Maths mock test today. I found the paper quite okay, except that I was dreadfully careless and I kept having to cancel my previous workings. And the Maths department is highly lame. The mock test was from "Winnie Junior College" and the logo was Winnie the Pooh.

Arranged with Qiling to have breakfast at KAP this morning, and I was supposed to give her morning calls to wake her up on time. I did! I called her 3 times this morning to try and wake her up but she rejected my call each time! By 7.30am (we arranged to meet there at that time) she still didn't call or reply my message, so I assumed that she was still sleeping and I went straight to school without breakfast. Met her in school and she said she don't even remember rejecting those calls. Hahaha! My stomach was growling during Maths mock. Ginny's growls (sitting beside me) were worse cos her empty stomach made even louder noises.

I've got rashes and bites on my arms. Jas and Qiling got them too. Haha the whole class was frolicking about on the hill outside CA6 yesterday taking photos. Mine was bad cos I think I rolled around in the grass?? And now my skin's developed some allergy to those grass. Or maybe it's sandfly bites.

"If someone is an ignorant fool, is he blissfully ignorant if ignorance is bliss? Or is he a fool because he's ignorant of bliss?" Atiqah asks. I refuse to reply her cos I think it's stupid. It's not even qualified to be a paradox cos it's not true.

Khairi told me to blog about him. Blog. Khairi.

Happy birthday to everyone within the next 2 weeks. I've got one long list

October 17: Hong Yi, Connie, Yicheng and Ming Hui
October 18: Weiting
October 19: Daphne
October 20: Jie Lin, Dai Xuan
October 21:
October 22: Mummy
October 23: Bryan
October 24: Jin Jen
October 25: Wei Shan, Jason
October 26: Wei Zheng

Priscilla and me had our "who can wake up earlier" contest this morning again. She won cos she woke up at 5.50am today while I only woke up at 6.40am.

I think I'm a bit too fussy at times. I should stop being so perfectionistic and stop screwing up my face into some disgusted look.

I've made up my mind too. The plan is to go teach Geog or Lit at some all-girl's school. If not, Cat High then. By the time I hit 50s I'll go out of education for 3 years and invest in some restaurant or eatery or ice cream parlour.

Leading worship this Friday. Yurong sent me a techno version of Forever which has weird rhythms. And I tried recording my own singing while playing the guitar for all the songs that I'm singing. Sounds extremely nasal.

Annie's hamster is sick. Don't be so sad okay she'll get better soon.

And I think my own hamster is anti-social. Nutseed is happy being alone.

Sigh. I think only pet owners understand the intimate relationships with an animal.

I'm so sad.

Urrgh.

I should go find a girlfriend immediately and settle down. Get married. Have kids. Whatever.

Okay I think it's becoming emo. I better stop here.

Monday 16 October 2006

Haha I'm engaged in really really weird conversations on MSN. I get friends gushing about their hottie, friends debating which guy they should choose, friends asking me Geog questions, friends talking about ducks with me, friends who argue whether the moon fairy exists or not. Blee. I've got a bad memory too. 2 minutes, and I cannot remember what I said to which friend.

Anyway, I read the letter that Jas wrote me!! Haha I'm very happy! Thanks Jas! I actually wanted to write letters for classmates too but I sort of got lazy last night and decided to do it another night when I'm more lucid. I've read the other letter too. Guilt? I don't know. I don't want to elaborate.

I've resolved to not get myself embroidered into anymore "girl troubles" for the rest of this year.
I shall take a full walk in the butterfly garden after the Maths mock paper tomorrow.

And here are some of the pictures that I really really like.


Peeking out of CA6 with Qiling, Chiew Yee and Khairi. They're some of my bestest buds in class! You guys are awesome!


My baby!! Proposed to the school for this butterfly garden which costed $20 plus thousand? Can you imagine my joy when I actually waltzed through it?? All it lacks is my name on some plague.


The new spice garden which the school re-did! This is where I got most of my inspiration for the past 2 years, especially inspiration for Green Link!


Shu Fen and me look like we're together or something! Haha I was quite horrified to see this picture. But it's nice. And ditzy.


It's so hazy that it looks like Genting. Rooftop of NJ. And there's the balloon there too!


Red noses! A01!!
Had a farewell assembly today. The actual assembly itself lasted slightly more than an hour, but I don't think we did much either. The first half was an announcement of all the top students for each subject for Prelim, followed by a lengthy speech by the big P (P for Principal) of which I only remembered to "use your left and right brain because Einstein did so". Then we watched a long video compilation from all the various teachers or CCA juniors that taught our cohort. It was kinda screwed up cos the music changes abruptly in between the slides and it wasn't a very complete representation of all the teachers/CCAs! I don't see any Green Link dedications! No Lit or Geog slides too. Blee.

But anyway, it was a good day for photo-taking. Haha! Me, Qiling, Chiew Yee and Khairi met extremely early to go tour the school to take pictures in school. We kept meeting the Sok Huang, Sherinah and gang everywhere cos they were going around in school too. Went to CA6, went to LT2 to pretend to be lecturers, dancing in the flower garden (and enduring Sok Huang's sniggers). Blah blah blah. Pictures and videos uploaded! Then the rest of the class came at around 10 plus plus. Food at the linkway, and everyone went around snapping photos with each other. Then the assembly.

After that our whole class went down to CA6 with the intention of taking over the class. But there were lessons going on, so we went to the hill outside the container class instead. Me and Khairi gave out our red clown noses to everyone! Mr Leong dropped by and we took more photos. Then it's home.

Haha I know this post is a bit skimpy. But don't get me wrong, I had loads of fun today. The PSI now is 130. Hazy. And I'm tired from posing in front of the camera with so many people for so many times. Oh well I'll go take a nap then go for tuition with Hai Hao.

Pictures here. Video links below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_WL3EQQicg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP-HAmIe8wE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZkgwLm-llY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8PbzzSFJg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0p1cV27d-c

Sunday 15 October 2006

Blooiee I wasted one whole day of studying yesterday. I like to keep my Saturdays for mugging cos it's normally the most productive day of studying for the entire week. But yesterday I chose to go for JC open houses instead. And it's not even for me somemore! Sigh. But it was fun!

The original plan was to go NJ in our old secondary school uniforms. But a huge tragedy struck when I came home on Friday to try and search for my Cat High uniform. IT'S MISSING!! Just couldn't find it in any closets at home. Then I asked my mum and she tried to help me find too but couldn't. So I asked Hanson to bring his RV uniform for me, but I didn't wear it in the end too cos I was lazy. Haha! In the end Khairi turned up in school in his SJI tee-shirt and shorts. Atiqah was in her full Crescent uniform!

Loitered around in school saying hi to all my juniors and trying to pretend to be a sec 4 blur kid at the same time. It worked for a while okie! There were some ushers at the gate as usual, shouting some fake cheery "WELCOME TO NJ!" the moment you enter. Yep I walked in (in non-school tee-shirt) and I got three cheery "WELCOME TO NJ!" greetings. Then I met Christine and she said "Hi Guan You". And all the subsequent people along the walkway just kept silent to me and they said "WELCOME TO NJ!" to all those people behind me instead!! Blee.

So first thing I did after reaching school was to go find Atiqah. She looks like some gangster cos half her blouse was untucked and she was playing soccer?? Haha! Then I went up to the hall to visit the Green Link booth. Khairi came, watched Indian Dance, Angklung and Chinese Dance perform at the linkway. ID was super good la, and CD was colourful and elegant. Couldn't recognise Huai Ying and Regina and Debbie cos their faces were heavily made-up and everyone looked the same.

Went up to the hall and saw Chriselle and her band onstage singing something (Stanley on bass and Shaun on drums!). Then loitered around at the grandstand listening to the emcees chatting about bimbotic stuff. Khairi mass-danced with Jo Lynn while I watched. I met Cheryl (Cheryl Heng) and Brandon who decided to visit NJ! Rushed back to the hall cos I promised Lauren I'll be there for her performance, but it was over already. And of course, I'm hanging out with Khairi, so wherever he goes he'll meet people he know. Then he'll bring out his camera, plaster his face close in and snap a picture. After a while it became a routine habit for him, so I decided to join in this vainpot activity and took pictures with everyone that I knew. Haha one day I shall strive to be more popular than Khairi!!

That's when Khairi suggested we go over to SAJC's open day too. So the two of us happily went over. The SA band was playing when we went in. They sounded grand! Haha think they got Gold with Honours for their SYF. Walked around, and I met Daphne who was there too. Met Rachel Lim too!! Haha then Khairi and me decided to pretend to be sec 4s and we started this really weird conversation about whether we should take KI or should we go Arts or Science or how we did for Prelims. Blee. Viewed a video of SAJC Chorale singing. Got a tour around in the Band Room and I spotted Eugene's face in one of the photos! I saw Daniel Zhang too.

Oh oh! I came across their environmental club's booth! Hee hee the last time I was at SAJC, I saw their noticeboard but it was blank. So I decided to go "check them out". Haha they're quite nice people, they've done the Green Audit too and the usual environmental stuff. And their booth was so much more vibrant than ours back at NJ! Haha then I found out among their activities include FLOWER ARRANGEMENT. My gosh! If they asked me to do flower arrangements in Green Link, I'll pluck out all the petals of the flowers and sit there and cry.

We tried to collect the shoebags that they were giving out! But the girl asked for our ICs or something, and Khairi started to pretend that he must have lost it or something. Then the girl said it's okay and said we could just recite our IC numbers. And silly Khairi went S-8-8-blah blah, so the girl stared at us cos the paper she was writing on had IC numbers that began with S-9-0! She got suspicious and asked "are you taking your O'levels this year?" and Khairi blatantly said YES. Haha!! In the end the girl looked so puzzled and I just told her we're J2s and hurriedly left the counter.

Well after a while we got bored and decided to go CJC's open day which was down the road. Don't think I saw more than 10 outsiders there, like everywhere was just a sea of CJ people cos it was ending soon already. Met Khairi's junior who gave us a short tour. I didn't meet anyone I know over there! All the CJ people didn't really care about visitors either. Then they started mass dancing and then Khairi said ours was much better. Haha. We left shortly after.

Khairi went home, while I decided to go back to NJ to meet Priscilla! It was sort of along the way home anyway. Yep I was just in time cos they were packing up at NJ too. Talked to her and her friends for a while, gave them directions on how to get out of there, then I went to join some of my A01 juniors at the grandstand. I only found out that Natania drinks only from green straws cos she likes green. HAHA! They're a funny bunch of people. And it was Nicol's birthday so they were all waiting for him to go celebrate at his house.

Whee. That was my tiring, busy, activity-filled yesterday. Friday was equally bad. I had 2 consecutive consultations (Maths and Human Geog) in the morning, then there was a Ms Teo lecture in the afternoon. I did SAJC Prelim paper with Ms Lim, and we had hell for one hour. The DRQ was difficult, and I didn't know what their tourism question diagram was asking for. What in the world is HONEYPOT?? Came home after school to get a quick nap before going down to corps for worship practice. I think I sounded very flat and I sang some weird high-pitched impromptu harmony for one of the songs, so my voice was clearly heard over everyone else. Cell group time. I told Biru that I think Rachel Kwan is quite adorable. Then she asked "what about me? Am I as cute as her??". Shameless. Later on, after posing for the camera with Rachel herself, she looked at her own picture and said "so cute and pretty! Just like me!". Oh gosh. Equally shameless.

Okie. I've put up the photos that I've taken in school, and all the photos of all the Open Days yesterday. There's some nice ones, like Chiew Yee's head replaced by the Macs toy I gave her. And there's 3 different shots of me and Khairi on all the bus trips that we've taken yesterday. Whee! Click here for school photos and here for open houses.

Thursday 12 October 2006

My last day of school yesterday. I'm kinda both happy and sad at the same time. Ambivalence. Somehow I wish things would just remain the same, like going to school for boring lectures and tutorials with A01 or spending half my time in the canteen with my non-Econs gang (and free-time buddy!!). But I also want to move on into my next phase of life. I want to go army and defend the country (RIGHT). I want to go university. I want to be a teacher. I want to set up my own ice cream parlour or chicken rice stall. I want to settle down, find a wife and go procreate to up Singapore's low birth rates. Blooiee.

Anyway, it was almost just like a normal school day yesterday. Except that everyone went into camera-frantic mode and snapped pictures like crazy. I'll put my pictures up soon... Finalised our Prelims results too. I'm a CEO!! HAHAHA!! Literature's the only subject that I made significant improvements in, although I've got a 10 mark improvement for my Maths too (though I still failed). My GP is a B4 and it'a the 90th percentile?? Weird!! Either I'm really good at it, or the entire level just flunked. Ooh we checked our CIP records too. Jas included all 139 hours of mine, so I've got nothing to complain about except gratitude, cos I've diligently gave her everything she needs for the tabulation. Eeps I'm making myself sound like a very good boy. But I forgot to go find Ms Marriane Tan to confirm our 30-Hour Famine camp records. Stupid. I met her in school and I even smiled at her, but I forgot to ask! She was twirling happily in the butterfly garden like as if she's some fairy.

OH NOOO I FORGOT TO TAKE PHOTOS OF MY BUTTERFLY GARDEN AND MY GREEN AUDIT LOTUS AWARD CERTIFICATE!! MY BABIES!!!

Sigh. At least I left NJ feeling that I've made contributions for the school. That Lotus certificate is MINE. That butterfly garden is MINE too (possessive pronouns). Okie okie I'll share it with my Green Link mates, but I'm the President so it's all mine! MINE MINE MINE. I left my legacy in school. I left my imprint in school.

David Waugh is my baby.

Where was I? Oh last day of school. Anyway, I was overcame with a huge sense of nostalgia as I was walking out of school after Human Geog lecture. I thought of my first 3 months in NJ, my Orientation days, my OGL days, all the weird College activities like Open Day, and my class and classmates. Hmm I'm going to miss NJ quite a fair bit.

After school yesterday I went down to Jericho to prepare the songs for my worship leading next week. Then I went home to do revision and spent the night on phone calls. Called Eleanor for fun. Called Jas to ask her to include all our names for CIP record for 30-Hour Famine. Annie called me to discuss her Hughes essay. Chiew Yee and me were on the phone till 1.30am chatting whatever that came to our minds.

Didn't go for lessons on Tuesday cos I had a slight flu in the morning, but I did go back to school in the evening for consultation with Ms Teo. 3 hours jam of 3 essay discussions for 3 different texts. I was semi-stoned cos I took those drowsy flu pills, but I still came out with a better understanding of all 3 texts. And Ms Teo is cute. Really really!

It was supposed to be 8am at Bishan bus interchange with Qiling to study today. But I woke up at 8.30am, then I called her at 9.30am and she sounded so muffled as if there's a flood in her house cos she just woke up too.

I can't wait for NJ Open Day! The plan is to go back in my old Cat High school uniform and pretend I'm a J1. And to go flirt around. HAHA!! I mean, it's these kind of occasions that you get to flirt around with all the unknown stangers that you find good-looking or cute! I don't understand why people are sooo horrified when I start going excited about flirting!! And not everybody wants to hear about my flirting experiences. Sigh. It's open days and exhibitions and fun-fairs! The point is to go out there to socialise and make new friends!! Yippee. I can't wait.

Oh oh. I watched this really horrible and stupid show on Channel 5 last night. The movie's called OCTUPUS 2. The plot involved this really smart giant octopus who went around killing people for food, and this police guy who eventually became the hero by killing it. The octupus had freaky yellow eyes?? And it survives one bomb attack after being "blasted into bits". It's inhumanely strong for a small creature. Stupid authorities. Screaming Russian kids. It's just some shoddy B-list action thriller with a nonsensical plot. But I found it entertaining!! I like watching crappy movies with horrible plots and stupid characters and illogical action. It's just funny and I enjoy dissing the stupid director. Crappy movies. Haha it's kinda strange. I enjoy watching movies which have really good plots too. So I don't know which I prefer: crappy movies or good movies.

Yurong just asked me whether I have ever contemplated the implications of cloning. And I said I WANT TO BE CLONED!! Imagine two Guan You-s running around and all the fun I'll have!! It's twice the fun, twice the action, twice the havoc!! YIPPEE. I'll gladly volunteer myself for any cloning experiment. You hear that North Korea??

Priscilla says she's coming down to NJ for Open Day.

Okie that's all.

Monday 9 October 2006

A little while ago, Mr Dio commented in class that almost all the teachers who used to be students of Ms Ting and are currently teaching in NJ now, have acknowledged Ms Ting as their "inspirational figure" towards Physical Geography. And naturally the entire class kind of pooh-poohed that remark, mostly because of our love-hate relationship with her. Actually for me, I'm hard-pressed to find any "love". I started going around telling everyone that her ex-students said that only because it wouldn't be very apporpriate for them to say negative stuff about her, and they're probably hypocritical about it and yada yada. And I've met enough of her former students who are currently teachers in NJ, or in other schools also teaching Geog or whatever. And they all exalted and glorified Ms Ting to some saintly figure who saved them from damnation or something like that. You know my cynicism for these crap.

I don't know. I want to be a Geog teacher when I grow up, but that has been my career ambition since secondary school? So I guess I've already made up my mind even before I met Ms Ting. And honestly, I am not exactly inspired by anyone. Mrs Pang came close, but that's cos I was her class chairman for 2 years.

I had consultation with Ms Ting today with Judith. Samuel happily forgot all about it (and spent the rest of the day escaping from her), and Jas wasn't in school. So naturally Ms Ting got angry and took down their phone numbers for whatever else she could do with those numbers. Then she started asking about me and Judith's essays, cos we didn't submit any to her last week. And the usual stuff which involved questioning our attitude and work commitment and desire to do well for the subject.

Then she hit upon something that I've been trying to evade all along. I haven't made much improvement for my Geog since last year. I'm still getting "elephant and donkey" grades according to her, and I can't say that my Geog essays have shown much improvement in structure either. And she asked about my revision plan, and I made up one on the spot. NUTS. I've got a plan for Lit and Maths, and I've revised Human G for some topics, but I haven't really started for Physical G yet. The stupid thing is I've got less than 4 weeks to get everything right.

How ironic. I want to be a Geog teacher and I'm getting abhorrent grades like "elephants and donkeys". My concepts are in a deplorable state. I only just learnt the basics to structuring an essay properly. This may sound cliché, but Ms Ting put it nicely: I've only got to work hard to get my content and skills right, if I put in the effort. I'm trying to avoid that dreaded truth, but it's the truth. A truth is a truth is a truth. There's only that long that I can escape before it eventually bites me in my back and lasso me to the ground.

AARGH. I hate getting stressed by studies. But I've GOT TO BE STRESSED in order to study. Okie. Maybe Ms Ting is inspirational after all. I came out of consultation feeling like crap and getting an urgent need to study for Geog. "To what extent is Ms Ting inspirational?" I say she's inspirational to a large extent, albeit in a negative way. She ladens you with so much guilt and remorse that you're forced to study. I'm just feeling stupid now.

What a horrid day. I woke up this morning feeling like a piece of dried fish cos I slept for 2 hours last night. Was doing Human G. I woke up on time for school, but I mopped around my house like some moggy mop, so by the time I reached school I was late. But it's my third last proper school day in school today, and nobody's going to care if I'm late or absent. I was tired. I was feeling like shat. Even the sight of EYECANDY didn't cheer me up a lot.

Then Qiling happily bounced by. GP class was cancelled for one-on-one consultations, so me and Qiling went down to the canteen to gorge at cute guys and girls at the grandstand. The J1s just ended their Promos and they're having Games Fest. Haha maybe it was the many hellos that I was greeted with that cheered me up slightly? And Qiling likes to picture guys NAKED. Gosh I wonder what goes on through her mind when she sees me. But straight after that was the disastrous Ms Ting consultation, so my mood dropped again.

Oh oh we got back our Lit essays for the unseens. I managed 60%! Elated, jubilant, ecstatic, exuberated. I think Lit is the only subject that I've made steady improvements over the two years of my JC life. First time I hit a B for Lit!! I want to get an overall B for Lit but I think my remaining 2 papers will just make it a C or something. Still it's an achievement for me, cos initially I wanted to drop the subject even before I began studying for it??? The school just imposed Lit to me as a subject because they felt I was capable of 4 subjects. Junk. I dropped Econs and I'm barely scrapping through my remaining subjects. Whitby wrote "good" on my scripts. YAY.

And now to improve drastically and dramatically on my Maths and Geog too. Had consultation with Ms Kao for my GP paper too. Me and Janvin had a better understanding of balance and structure in our essays. And evaluation. Sigh. My GP grades are stagnant at B4.

After school, I went down to Coronation Plaza to find Chiew Yee and Qiling. Our class won $50 NTUC vouchers for some class photo competition, which Jas sent in a few months ago. Whee. They intended to buy loads of food, but didn't in the end. I think those 2 hyperactive girls created quite a stir there. And I met Alex on the bus home!

Okie. Work. Need to start on Physical Geog. 25 days left to A's.

Sunday 8 October 2006

Eh okie this dates back to Mid-Autumn Festival on Friday night. Haha I know it's a bit laggy, but I'm not coming online as often as in the past now. Friday youth service as usual, and when it's cell group time we decided to go to Bishan Park to play with candles and sparklers. Heh it was Biru's idea, and it's in the middle of super bad haze! I think it reached 80 or 90 on the PSI, but the moon was awesome! It was one huge big round sphere of orange!! And I kept looking and looking and looking at it because it was just so captivating. I didn't point at the moon cos I was afraid of Rachel's moon fairy cutting my ear! But isn't orange a wrong colour for the moon?? Blee.

Anyway, sparklers and candles. Me, Coleman and Ming Hui started a mini fire on a small grass patch and burned up all the used candles/sparklers/match boxes, dried leaves, plastic, whatever. It's one of those few times where I don't really care about the nature or the environment, so I happily joined in in burning up anything I can reach. Jolene and Biru were trying to create some candles formation, and there's the sparklers too, so we contributed even more to the haze! Actually Bishan Park was crowded with people all burning something.

Went back to corps after we got sick of the haze, and Clarence's step-dad was preparing more sparklers! He bought one huge pack, so we played somemore.


Six sparklers. One huge bunch. One tiny flame. Blinding red flash. Huge ball of light. Loads of sparks. Crackling noise. Bellows of billowing smoke. Haha it looks as if I've finally found my inspiration.

Okie. Yesterday was spent at KAP with Yurong, and with my Human Geog notes. KAP on Saturdays are crowded like nuts with ittle kids trying to play peek-a-boo with me. And all of a sudden there's so many NJ students there! Mostly my juniors who were there for their PW meetings. After a while I felt like I was back in NJ when I was sooo desperately trying to escape from school, and it was cold. So me and Yurong went outside to one of those umbrellas and studied in the mild haze. And waving at little girls in cars who were driving past in the drive-through.

Oh oh some weird crackpot called me 3 times on Friday night. First time he called, he started speaking in dialect and asking for someone. But I couldn't understand him, and whatever he garbled didn't sound like my name one bit. So I told him wrong number and hung up on him. But 2 minutes later he called again and started speaking in his mumbled, incomprehensible language again, so I got fed up and replied in my equally indecipherable language too! I don't know what I said to him. Made loads of funny noises at him. And when he was silent on the phone, I continued speaking like an Indian. Then guess what?? He started cursing at me! He started scolding me in vulgarities that I understood this time, so I "quack quack quack" at him before I hung up. Then he called me for the third time again, but this time it was a much sensible voice who spoke to me nicely. He asked for "Mr Yap", so I told him politely wrong number.

Blooiee. Sometimes I think I'm really rude. But who cares? It's not my fault if he wants to persist in his mumbling.

Reading Blyton's Faraway Tree now. It's really nice!

And Qiling! I'm alright yea? Nothing's going to happen. Haha.

Happy birthday to Annie, Prerana, Benny and Ben Ng! I've got their birthdays on 3 consecutive boxes in my calendar. And I've got more names on the subsequent boxes for October too, but that will be next week and onwards.

Friday 6 October 2006

I'm studying. The use of present participles adds vitality to this sentence. It gives action, life and movement which combine to give a kinaesthetic image in the persona's ongoing activity. The subjective personal pronoun is used to introduce the persona, emphasizing his importance as the subject of this sentence. It gives a personal sense of involvement for the reader, as if it is an invitation to join in with the persona to "study". However, this sentence also presents an interesting irony. While the verb denotes action and occurence, it also suggests stasis and inactivity. "Studying" is by itself a non-social activity, and requires the persona to be focused in order for it to be effective. The tone of the sentence is highly laconic, even bordering at a slight satirical note. The persona is obviously forced into an involutary situation to "study", and he is dissatisfied with the activity. His cynicism for "studying" is also hinted. All in all, this simple and direct sentence presents a powerful message of the persona's feelings, and allows the reader to empathise with the persona's plight.

Thursday 5 October 2006

Just came back home from school even though I don't have to be officially in school. Had a Lit group meeting with Jaslyn and Khairi absent. The Brave New World essay question that we chose was super difficult! Okie it wasn't that bad, cos we could come up with the points and whatever quotations that we need. But then somehow the argument turned to Bernard, and we started arguing about whether we think he's hypocritical or not. It degenerated into another debate session, with 3 girls agreeing that Bernard is a hypocrite while I think he's just confused by his society's circumstances. SIGH.

We ended the meeting without a conclusion. Me and Qiling went to eat in the canteen, and guess what? The Western stall uncle was trying to prepare tahu goreng! Pity it wasn't for sale, cos he was just making it for fun. But somehow Qiling managed to cajole the uncle into giving her one plate, and it was nice (although a bit too salty)!! Then Shermin and Judith joined us, and so did Ms Teo. HAHAHA MS TEO!! She told us that she's marking our Glass Menagerie essays at the rate of 40 minutes per essay. Blee. Qiling is weird. And I walked out of school with Shermin bouncing everywhere.

I'm generally quite okay with my Prelims results so far. Although I got some crappy scrappy Geog result again. But I showed improvement in most of my other subjects, which is a good thing right?? AARGH. I refuse to be upset at my results although it's freaking me out. It's like some huge bug with giant suckers and glassy, tessallated buggy eyes glaring down at me.

Went to Bukit Timah Plaza on Tuesday after school with Khairi and Jas. The NTUC there made us feel as if we're in Malaysia. And I checked out the organic food section. I think I wouldn't mind being a cow sometimes. Gosh. Kai Jie has some stereotypical view of me. HE THINKS I'M PERMANENTLY RANDOM. I'm not!! Random I'm not!

And I spent the past two nights at Jericho studying with Shi Hui. It gets kinda weird, cos Stephen or whoever will lock the front door, so the two of us are sort of "trapped" in a bomb shelter for two or three hours before we go home at 10pm. And the back door is difficult to open!! But it's okay to me, cos at least while studying, I feel secure knowing that if there were to be some hurricane or some terrorist attack outside, I will be safe. HEE HEE.

Okie, back to studying.

Monday 2 October 2006

YAARGH! Okie I've got loads to blog. Let's see, my weekend was spent in fruitful studying! I had Maths consultation last Friday, then I had a meeting with my Lit group to discuss whether Edmund is corrupted or not. OH OH we went to CA6 to do our discussion! I miss that place. All my brilliant memories spent in that room last year. First three months. The subsequent A01 which we decorated with our names. And that picturesque hill overlooking Nanyang Girls'. Whee. I want my own garden there!! But I've got my butterfly garden already, and it's equally awesome.

Then Saturday was mugging at KAP with Yurong and Rong and Diana. KAP on Saturdays are packed full of people. I think Yurong's friends got asked "politely" to shift to a smaller table twice?? Blee. And it was raining heavily. And I finished Scene 6 of Glass Menagerie.

Yesterday I only managed to do a bit of Geography and a bit of Maths. It was YP (Young People) Sunday at corps! Me and Tammy back-up sang for the first time on a Sunday service with Alicia. OOH BIMBO POWER. Haha! We sang together on Friday night too! They arranged for the Sunday school kids to lead worship on stage!! And they had funny actions to all the kid's church songs so the entire time we were watching them waving their hands and dancing around. Hee hee Joel's brother Jerrold was the "worship leader". And Aunty Adeline's daughter Janice was SUPERBLY CUTE. Me and Tammy decided to join in their dances and we sort of stood up in front during offering when everyone was seated down and danced happily. WHEE.

And today was a return to school. Nothing much, cos my Monday timetable is the slackiest in all my 3 days. Got back the last of Mr Dio's papers today. Haha I'm happy with my results! 15 for Herbert, 16 for Hughes and 11 for Marner, all out of 25. Obviously I didn't study for Marner. I didn't read anything past chapter 8, so naturally I flunked it with Mr Dio commenting that "a large part of my essay was based on an misinterpretation of the novel". HAHAHA. Guess what? He started being sarcastic and witty at the same time and gave out prizes for handwriting, length of essay etc etc. I got a Silas Marner comic book for doing well in 2 papers but getting an abysmal result for Marner. Crap. I promised Mr Dio I'll study for Marner though.

Hee hee! Eyecandy eyecandy!! Normally I'm the one going gaga when I see my eyecandy. And normally I'm the one who has to shout out her name for her to notice me. But when my eyecandy has to shout out MY NAME to SAY HELLO, I know I'm having an awesome day.

Okie, after school today me and Jaslyn went Enid Blyton-hunting! Somehow we got excited about Enid Blyton halfway through Maths, and she was telling me about this enchanted tree which has many levels and it's occupants are all magical creatures or something like that. So we went down to Bukit Merah library to try and find that book, but it wasn't on the shelf! Then we went down to Tiong Bahru Plaza to try and search for it in the Popular. Found it, but the entire story was broken down into 3 books and each costed $4.90?? BLAH. Didn't buy it in the end though.

Jas has like every single kiddy book that I've ever heard of. Goodness! I grew up on Enid Blyton books too, but it was only some stories only! I liked the Famous Five series, and all those collected short stories. And I liked The Three Investigators! I read most of Roald Dahl's books, a bit of Hardy Boys, a bit of Sweet Valley (my sister's). And I read the entire Animorphs series before too!! HAHAHA. We were walking everywhere in the library and at every corner there's books that bring memories to those childhood reading days. Even Kai Jie reads Enid Blyton okay!! He tried to be discreet about it but he revealed himself. And now I'm borrowing that magic tree book from Ginny.

I think everyone should pile their Enid Blyton books together and share them. She's great. I was reading one of her stories about this rabbit who didn't grow up at all. So one day he went to Toyland and he bacame a toy, and no one teased him about not growing up ever again and he got to play all day long!! I ALSO WANT! I don't want to grow up. I think the prospects of turning 18 in less than 2 months is horrifying. I want to remain at 17 and not grow up and play all day. Haiz. I think I'm dissatisfied with my current life as a student. Worse, as an A'Level student. I think there's more to life than studying.

I feel like dropping out now and go open my own ice cream parlour. Anyone wants to put an investment in my business? I was thinking between my own ice cream parlour or my own chicken rice stall. Maybe I'll challenge Island Creamery. Or that Kim San Leng chicken rice stall. But I wanna be a teacher also! I've got many secret ambitions. Okie they are not really "secret" ambitions. Yup my secret desire though, is to go teach Lit or Geog in some convent school. HAHA. I don't know why. It's just something that I daydream about myself working with teenage girls.

Mr Dio said that people who take Lit in university will go haywire and nuts. Okie he didn't actually SAY, but he IMPLIED. Me and Khairi are terrified.

My Green Link teacher signed me up for EAGLES Award without telling me. And he actually did so about 2 months ago?? He suddenly called me to the staff room today to fill up the form cos he thought he could just fill it in himself for me, but apparently I had to fill in some details myself and today was the last day for submission. And I needed a photo on the front of the form, but do I look like I have any photo of myself all the time? So he took a picture of me against the NJ wall with his camera and submitted it. I had to get Mrs Nair to write a testimonial too. I think it didn't sound like me one bit.

And Rachel Kwan claims that if you point your finger at the moon at night, the moon fairy will come and cut you behind the ear. At first I didn't believe her, but I got curious and went home to ask my mum about it. SHE SAID YES!!! Oh gosh. How can Rachel be right?? It sounds so ridiculous. I'm never going to point at the moon ever again.

LER-ZAN-YER. LER-ZAN-YER. LER-ZAN-YER.

Qiling and me are planning to go midnight mugging at KAP on Wednesday night. Sounds great. And I'm going to be at KAP this entire weekend mugging my meaningless mangled mess of books and notes. Anybody wants to join me?? Blah just turn up there and wave to me.

I've found another girl in school which I think is cute. Except that many people started staring at me in disbelief and with their mouths so wide that 3 million flies can fit inside. I think she's cute wad!! Okay she's annoying at times, but definitely cute with a big letter C. Haiz.

I shall try not to say HAIYA to anyone from now on. Jas says I tend to get dismissive when I do that. If I say HAIYA at you, slap me.

WILL KISS FOR FOOD.