UGH... I WISH RIGHT NOW THAT THEY WILL CANCEL THE PROMOS!! [closed eyes, hands together, wish upon a star...] Yar right. Fat hope.

Studying for promos can be fun. Seriously. You can jump and swing around while memorising all your Geography details; you can rejoice and tap dance while appreciating prose/poetry. It's FUN as long as you perceive it to be FUN. Of course, minus the nagging thought that you think you're going to fail. Minus the thoughts that you think the paper is going to be really tough. And minus the absurd thought that you're going to be squashed flat by a chicken nugget before you enter the exam hall.

I've decided. If I fail my promos and I face the prospect of being retained, I shall quit school and go be a bus ticket inspector. Seriously, they have the best job in the world. They get to ride on buses all day long and all they have to do is just hold the black hand-held card-reader and go around the bus collecting people's EZ-Link cards. And the best thing is? They get to see whatever goofy photos on the cards!! Okay at least for the students only, but still it's worth it! Imagine all that sniggers they get to ENJOY just by inspecting goofy faces on cards!! And they don't have to choose what to wear everyday because they've got a uniform and if people are sleeping, they get to poke the person awake!!

And while I'm still self-deluding myself, allow me to go study for my Economics.

Yesterday's GP Promo Paper was 50% tough and 50% manageable. 50% manageable: Essay writing was easy. "The environment is there for us to exploit, not conserve. To what extent do you agree?" Well that's good, considering that I've been studying environment since don't-know-when... Yup, no points for guessing what my stand was... 50% tough: Compre was really nuts. I was sleepy/drowsy, and the passage (about gossip and media and whatever) was nonsensical.

But on the brighter side, I had 4 missed calls while I was in the classroom doing my paper. Shows how popular I am. Haha, okay too egoistical. Anyway, I called one of the callers back and guess what? It was the Singapore Writers Festival people who called to tell me that MY HAIKU WAS AMONG THE TOP TEN!! And they're mailing me a $50 Kinokuniya voucher. WHEE! And after GP Paper, a few of us went up to the Art Room to see the newly-borned kittens. There were 2 of them, and they were so tiny and mewing constantly and totally furry!! Gosh I wanted to kidnap them and bring them home, but I think my mum will freak. Dash.

Cell group time yesterday night was quite tense. If you still suck at Practical Criticism, you wouldn't have trouble picking out the tension last night. Anyway, what needs to be done must be done. Thanks Della for initiating all these, and rest assured that the whole cell group will give support fully, where necessary...

Received Joel's greeting card today. Silly boy, he got my address wrong, so my neighbour had to deliver it to me. But the surprise was "surprising"... Yurong's card had "study hard and don't be a retainer if not you'll be in someone else's mouth"... HAHAHAHAHAHA!! WHAT A LAME THING TO SAY!! Oh I have a funny inkling that it's going to be on Jaslyn's blog. Blooiee.

Oh no my blog entry structure is weird. BAD STUFF -> GOOD STUFF -> BAD STUFF -> GOOD STUFF. Okay here's the final BAD STUFF: Caught a flu bug. Been sniffing the whole day, nose leakage (call a plumber), and I just took one of those small flu pills that will knock you out in one hour's time.

AARGH I'VE GOT GP PROMOS IN ANOTHER 15 HOURS!! Oh gosh that will signal the start of PROMOS!! Crap. Time flew. Time really flew. Last I could remember I thought I was still in first three months and May Ee was saying that "Promos is sooo faaarr awaaayy..." Nahh before I knew it I'm here, 15 hours away from GP paper. It's weird how time always seem to go so slowly, but if you look back you'll be astounded at the speed that time has passed.

Just watched LOST. 6 Emmys, including Outstanding Drama Series and Outstanding Directing!! I like Locke he's such a compelling character... Right now I'm still looking for statistics and sources to supplement my content knowledge. Wanna do the environment question if possible, so all my research now are Greenlinky...

Skipped most of the lessons in school today. Put it plainly: I was in no mood for lessons. Ended up studying in the library for the whole morning, then went for Maths lecture which everyone skipped but I went (how ironic), then Project Work and Econs was mostly self-study too. And we sang songs in class! Kai Jie brought his "My Heart Will Go On" piano scores, so I ended up strumming it on guitar and the girls formed a mini-choir and recorded the entire song on the lap-top... Sounds good heh...

I WANT TO EAT BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER. Bah I need to Star-D (see Sheng-De's blog) now first... And having fun with Nutseed is such a funny activity.

I'm mugging. All kinds of mugs.

200 Things Guan You Did Before...
Got this 200 things template thingy from Shuffle's blog... Okay I admit I'm bored hee hee. Things I've done at least once in my life are in bold

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
002. Swam with wild dolphins [definitely on the to-do list]
003.Climbed a mountain [Mount Fuji in Japan... didn't reached the summit though]
004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
005. Been inside the Great Pyramid
006. Held a tarantula [Cobalt Blue Tarantula]
007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
008. Said "I love you" and meant it
009. Hugged a tree [environmentalist]
010. Done a striptease
011. Bungee jumped
012. Visited Paris
013. Watched a lightning storm at sea
014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
015. Seen the Northern Lights
016. Gone to a huge sports game
017. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables [let's all go organic!]
019. Touched an iceberg
020. Slept under the stars [done that more times than I could remember...]
021. Changed a baby's diaper
022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
023. Watched a meteor shower [Leonid meteor shower in 1998]
024. Gotten drunk on champagne
025. Given more than you can afford to charity
026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
028. Had a food fight
029. Bet on a winning horse
030. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
031. Asked out a stranger [how about the stranger asked me out?]
032. Had a snowball fight [fake snow from Snow City]
033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier [with my pants on]
034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
035. Held a lamb [squiggle wiggle]
036. Enacted a favorite fantasy
037. Taken a midnight skinny dip
038. Taken an ice cold bath
039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
040. Seen a total eclipse
041. Ridden a roller coaster
042. Hit a home run
043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days [three weeks worth of studying]
044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
045. Adopted an accent for an entire day [Indian, Hong Kong, Japanese]
046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
048. Had two hard drives for your computer
049. Visited all 50 states
050. Loved your job for all accounts [passion counts]
051. Taken care of someone who was shit-faced [literally...]
052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
053. Had amazing friends
054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country [would love to though... kinda exotic]
055. Watched wild whales [another item on the to-do list]
056. Stolen a sign [Do not trespass]
057. Backpacked in Europe
058. Taken a road-trip
059. Rock climbing
060. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
061. Midnight walk on the beach
062. Sky diving
063. Visited Ireland
064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them [meaningful]
066. Visited Japan
067. Benchpressed your own weight
068. Milked a cow [somehow i feel embarassed for the cow]
069. Alphabetized your records [attempt at neatness]
070. Pretended to be a superhero [all the time]
071. Sung karaoke
072. Lounged around in bed all day
073. Posed nude in front of strangers
074. Scuba diving
075. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
076. Kissed in the rain
077. Played in the mud
078. Played in the rain
079. Gone to a drive-in theater
080. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
081. Visited the Great Wall of China
082. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog [darn]
083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
084. Started a business
085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
086. Toured ancient sites
087. Taken a martial arts class
088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
090. Gotten married
091. Been in a movie
092. Crashed a party
093. Loved someone you shouldn't have [yea i shouldn't have...]
094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy [maybe... haha!]
095. Gotten divorced
096. Had sex at the office
097. Gone without food for 5 days
098. Made cookies from scratch
099. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" [nature guiding... haha]
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark [i'm anti-sharks-consumption now]
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off [wince]
120. Been on a cruise ship [MV Doulos]
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy [roller stamps]
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. …more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication [sadly only one was published]
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback [hug]
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth [Ginny the cat gave birth to 4 little kittens]
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle [i didn't drive though]
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol [shotgun]
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild [edible ones]
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat [Australia]
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach [scratchy]
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch [gardening, origami]
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating [crabs]
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language [Guanny's Gibberish]
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

The holiday's came and gone... Somehow I don't feel very accomplished for the whole duration of the week. AARGHH I never do any homework at all... Well I couldn't be bothered to do them anyway, so all I did was to study and revise for my subjects. Didn't bother about Maths either. AARGHH I'm just so apathetic and lethargic towards Maths and homework. AARGHH AARGHH AARGHH...

Had nature-guiding for three days at Pasir Ris Park. Went with GVN's volunteers, some RGS girls and my school's Green Link members and Friends... Mudskippers and crabs and mangrove trees and herbs and spices and kingfishers... Grant is still the same ol' typical sarcastic and vengeful man. RGS girls reminded me of my secondary school guiding days. Got several cuts from some unknown accidents that I don't even know of; I only saw those cuts when I reached home. AARGHH AARGHH AARGHH...

Went down to Jericho on Friday cos they were hosting Settler's Cafe board games. Got a kick with all the games and shouting and having fun, swindling money and everything. Then at night went for the YouthFest which was really good, except that our church youths were probably the most active kids for the night... Came down with a sore throat the next day. AARGHH AARGHH AARGHH...

Dengue fever is affecting everyone. Oh I've decided what my second teaching subject should be if I do become a secondary school teacher. I might take up English on top of Gepgraphy. Initially I thought MATHS, but NAHH... NO WAY... And I want an iPod Shuffle. But I need to save up first. AARGHH AARGHH AARGHH...

The Duck

Behold the duck
It does not cluck.
A cluck it lacks.
It quacks.
It is special fond
Of a puddle or a pond.
When it dines or sups,
It bottoms ups.

-Ogden Nash

Whee hee! Try PC (Practical Criticism) this poem! It's totally AWESOME cos it's about ducks!! Okay maybe to me only. Had to go back to school today because there was a three-hour Literature lecture. The lecture hall's aircon was down, so we ended up at the canteen for lessons... Quite cool eh? But by the first hour I was getting restless. Imagine 3 hours of King Lear!! And not just that... There's three-hour lectures on Monday and Tuesday too. And throughout the three hours I made my decision. I'm going to take a biased stand towards Edmund the sexy bastard for being so contriving and devilishly cunning. WHEE.

Oh I forgot to mention about today. Me and Yurong and Cheryn and Joel were at J8 having lunch, cos we were planning to discuss about fellowship activities and what lame games we could think up of. Met Kat and Daniel, and while walking back to Jericho we were approached by people from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints... Yep, Cheryn just "uh-oh" and these two guys in their black-and-whites caught up with us, one approached Daniel and another talked to Joel. But somehow Joel was being aloof I think, so the guy (his name's Johnston) walked up beside me and just started chatting... Really friendly, just asking non-related stuff initially before reaching to the specifics of religion and Christianity. Well, Joel already told him that we're all Christians, so Johnston didn't try and insist Mormon ideas into me. Instead we ended up talking about why there are more than 3,500 different denominations of churches all under the wings of Christianity... As we walked along he explained about the Mormon church beliefs, their founder Joseph Smith and other stuff similar to what you would share if you were street-evangelising.

I liked the analogy Johnston gave me. He described Christianity being a big piece of glass. When this glass was dropped (after Christ died and rose again) everybody picked up different shards of the broken glass, and the glass represented qualities like faith, salvation etc. And thus there are the different churches today. What struck me was he didn't force ideas into my head, but rather tried to recognise that as long as our hearts are tuned and true to God, then it doesn't matter if our doctrines differ. In the end, the two guys gave me and Daniel each a Book of Mormon... And the best advice Johnston gave me? Try reading it with a open mind, but whether I'm receptive or not is entirely dependant on my existing faith. Yeah faith... That's a strong word you've got there...

YAY I've got myself a virtual duck! Saw Gerome's hamster and Qiling's hedgehog on their blogs, so I decided maybe I might want to geta virtual pet too... And when they offered a DUCK for adoption, I just can't pass by the chance to not want a DUCK!! But the best bit was I get to dictate what the colour of the DUCK should be. PINK!! Wheee!! Meet Pebbles the Duck. You can make it quack by clicking on it, and it'll flap it's wings.. You can feed it bread (under "more") and make it follow you too!

Teachers' Day yesterday... NJ just have a funny way of making all celebrations depressing. As in, they never try and involve you in meaningful activities (ACES Workout is not meaningful). But still I thought that the concert was quite nicely planned... Nudged Mr Alvin Leong to go for some longest fingernail thingy, and he just stood there on stage, clapping like something was so fascinating when there was nothing... Later we invited him and Ms Lynette Lim for cake in class...

And back at Catholic High, met up with all the usual gang of people, talked to Mrs Pang about my "future prospects if I do become a Geog teacher", then went for prata at our old haunt in Upp Thomson Rd... Kinda amazing how us guys can have so much fun even after not meeting up for so long... Maybe I do miss the Cat High days. I can't tell; I can never quite pin-point the exact feeling when faced with this question.

Suddenly it's September now. The last I checked with my brain, I was still stuck in June. YESH Common Tests seem like yesterday, but that was way back in July. Gosh I need to start focusing on the final quarter of the year. I don't want to be in 06A01. And I wanna do well enough to do Geography 'S'. And my MATHS!! If I don't start being serious about it I'll just fail.

Get someone and ask them to send tingling sensations up your spine... HEE!

Have you ever stayed up so late into the night that all you hear is the noisy crickets and the whirling of your fan? GOSH IT'S SO LATE INTO THE NIGHT NOW. Morning actually. Well for me I'm listening to all my old Hillsong CDs so at least I don't have to endure the crickets. EoM (Evaluation of Material) is relatively dumb. I mean, it's easy to do, but I just take my time and shuffle around until it took me 3 hours. Aargh.

Have you ever stayed online till this late that not one single friend is online on MSN as well?

Have you ever turned your home printer into a Guanchapati Printing Shop? I'm helping several of my friends print their EoM and sources and whatever else. I'll be benefitting 4 different friends with different needs by helping them print all their documents. Whee.

Have you ever had an Indian name? Yar I've got one. Ruth called me Guanchapati. Cool eh?

Have you ever watched darkly humourous movies and sang some nursery rhyme? Last Saturday went to watch Charlie and Willy Wonka and identical Oompa Loompas with Yurong. Bought chocolates after that to mark the occasion. "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier..."

Have you ever wish toothpaste can solidify on your skin and form a shield so hard that it stops all weapons?

Have you ever walked for 45 minutes just to get jelly beans? Atiqah and me got off the wrong bus-stop, ended up lost in the City Hall area and walked like nobody's business just to end up at Candy Empire at Millenia Walk. Just to buy jelly beans. Man I must love them too much. Now the individual jelly beans are representations of the 45 minutes spent on walking.

Have you ever languished in the waste of government resources? Atiqah and me (again) dropped by the new National Library at North Bridge Road. Seriously, they can cram all the reference books and cut back on 6 storeys out of 14. Worst of all, all the reference books are locked up. So very DUMB. The best thing was the free photo-taking and e-card greeting...

My haiku entry for the "Singapore Writers Festival SMS Haiku - Text In the City" is short-listed among the 100! Whee! It feels funny to have your own poem entry up for competition... I think it's my first time submitting a written work for some kind of competition. Hee hee I'm very happy now... And the most interesting thing was, this haiku that I submitted was written during one of the boring Econs tutorial!! HEE HEE HEE!! Top 10 winners get $50 Kinokuniya book vouchers, closing date is on 27th August... Click here to vote! My entry is number 46... VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME!! Well actually you have your own choice to vote for other haikus which you think are better than mine... But you don't have a choice you have to vote for me... Whee... Oh here's my haiku anyway...

strong big tembusu
deeply fissured and mighty
is a chopping board

The people in charge of this SWF competition put all the entries in one single line... So it's like "strong big tembusu/deeply fissured and mighty/is a chopping board"... Blahh I think I would prefer it if they put it in a three-line form rather than one long line... More structured... Oh wells... (:

School's been good so far. Ms Irish Champagne is my new GP tutor for now... So far she's my 5th GP tutor for this year. Yup she's pretty professional in her job... And I studied for Maths test! And the basil that the Hong Kong students planted are sprouting out fine! And yoghurt is superb! WHEEEEEE!!

Woo hoo Tammy! This peas totally RAWK!! Kasugai Roasted Hot Green Peas!!

Somehow I felt rather calm and peaceful for the past few days... On a normal day all I want to do is to drag my feet around and do everything grudgingly. But on an abnormal day I do everything with passion and vigour and in constant cheerfulness. Okay I'm experiencing my abnormal days...

Last Sunday was soldiership enrolment. Went up stage smartly in uniform, signed the Articles of War at the mercy seat, took our vows... It was more than a ceremony. It meant the start of a new commitment to God... I don't know sometimes I think I still have reservations over the decisions that I make. I dislike the word "commit", but I think when it comes to matters of your own faith, there is no such thing as a lukewarm attitude... Yesh I'm going to live my life for God. To give all I have, all I am, for Him alone...

After church service I had to rush down to the other side of Singapore... Project Work meeting was all the way at Jurong East library... Garrgh of all the places, but oh wells I was horribly late. Spent some time there discussing, then went to have lunch and buy stickers and other rubbishy stuff totally unrelated to PW...

And today, students from Hong Kong came over to our school for a green exchange... About 10 of them and 2 teacher chaperones. So us Greenlink members led them on a nature trail around our school compound, exploited them by making them plant basal plants for us, then enjoyed their presentations about HK waste management and recycling programmes... I've decided I like HK student exchanges. HK immersion was great, and now HK green exchange is just as awesome!!

Whee I'm tired. Tired but happy. Okay that's really rubbish but it's true... Gardening at spice garden with Shuffle and Hui Min yesterday, and before that I was doing the nature trail with Shu Fen and Jun Ying... At night still had to accompany Cheryn home and go for dinner after that... It was "a day of many schedules" yesterday... Whee hee...

Imagine the following:

It's a Wednesday night and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot and says,"Turn on a radio, turn on a radio."

And while the church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made: "Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital dying from the mystery flu."

Within hours it seems, this thing just sweeps across the country. People are working around the clock trying to find an antidote. Nothing is working. California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts. It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders.

And then, all of a sudden the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made.

It's going to take the blood of somebody who hasn't been infected, and so, sure enough, all through the Midwest, through all those channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood type taken. That's all we ask of you.

When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals. Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your wife and your kids are out there, and they take your blood type and they say,"Wait here in the parking lot and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home."

You stand around, scared, with your neighbors, wondering what in the world is going on and if this is the end of the world.

Suddenly a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Daddy, that's me." Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. Wait a minute. Hold on! And they say,"It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We want to make sure he doesn't have the disease. We think he has got the right type."

Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses, crying and hugging one another -- some are even laughing.

It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you, sir. Your son's blood type is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the vaccine."

As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying. But then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and you wife aside and says, "May we see you for a moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need...we need you to sign a consent form."

You begin to sign and then you see that the number of pints of blood to be taken is empty. "H-how many pints?"

And that is when the old doctor's smile fades and he says, "We had no idea it would be a little child. We weren't prepared.

We need it all!"

"But-but...You don't understand."

"We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We-we need it all!"

"But can't you give him a transfusion?"

"If we had clean blood we would. Can you sign?"

"Would you sign?" In numb silence, you do. then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?"

Can you walk back? Can you walk back to that room where he sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?"

Can you take his hands and say, "Son, your mommy and I love you, and we would never ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be. Do you understand that?"

And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry, we've--got to get started. People all over the world are dying." Can you leave?

Can you walk out while he is saying, "Dad? Mom? Dad? Why - why have you forsaken me?"

And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son, and some folks sleep through it, and some folks don't even come because they go to the lake, and some folks come with a pretentious smile and just pretend to care.

Would you want to jump up and say, "MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU CARE?"

Is that what GOD wants to say? "MY SON DIED FOR YOU. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?"

"Father, seeing it from your eyes breaks our hearts. Maybe now we can begin to comprehend the great Love you have for us."

This little girl, no more than 8 years. As old as her tongue, slightly older than her teeth...

So there she sat, on the bus, with her mother engaged in conversation sitting across them. I think she's Turkish, partly because of her eyelashes stemming from both eyes. Her eyelashes were those of a doll. It couldn't be real, but it was. Slightly curled naturally, and so neatly arranged that you'll think it's manufactured.

But gosh look at her eyes. Now I know what they meant by windows of the soul. They were as brown as almond, and gosh she was beautiful. Especially those stunning eyes, accentuated by her equally charming smile. They make you want to peer even deeper into her eyes, as if you can't get enough of her. It's not looking at her eyes, it's looking into her eyes.

For most of the time she looked out of the window. From time to time her head turns, gazing around until her eyes met mine. I gave her a smile. Not a very nice one... It was my "third degree smile". I think it might even be classified as a smirk. But that didn't matter, because slowly the corners of her lips turned upwards. A nice smile, played on the borders of shyness and eagerness. She looked away, but half a minute later she looked back my way. This time, I gave her my best smile that I could muster. She returned it with full passion now, abandoning all inhibitations totally.

I was transfixed.

There was nothing more I could possibly demand at that moment in time. Everything faded away. Nothing else mattered. The child-like innocence is beauty in itself... Smiles replacing the need for words. Transcending time and transforming the slab of stone into pure, melted warmth of love.

It didn't end there. The rest of the bus trip was a constant exchange of smiles, paused momentarily only by occasional shyness (it somehow returned). It stayed that way till she had to alight the bus one stop before mine. Waved, and she waved back. Lips mouthing goodbyes.

She was beautiful...

Okay time for some shuffle-ness... Here are some absolutely random/non-random thoughts over the past few days...

Festival of Praise 2005
Went with Lurong's cell and my own cell, though only Biru, Jolene and Ming Hui came along... Oh well the FOP was totally commercialised and propaganda. It's like, during offering time, the pastor just dkept emphasising on the "costs of bringing the two greatest Christian bands in the world was very high" and kept on promoting the CDs and newsletters to "defray the costs of bringing the two greatest Christian bands in the world for this FOP"... What the hell, you might as well start selling farm produce to raise the half-million dollars. My dear "pastor", have you ever read Matthew 21:13?? And to top it off, the FOP is not even befitting of its name. The entire praise'n'worship sounded more like a concert than anything else. C'mon, (especially Delirious) if you want to have your own concert, do it elsewhere...

Bird-watching Talk
Andrew Tay is damn hip! I think him and Mr Benzie Dio should sit down together and discuss tips on how to stay cool and hip... Hee hee... Oh wells the talk was quite enriching, pictures were great.

Salvation Army Fun Fair
I was there for less than half an hour only... Hung around playing marbles, popping balloons, eating fries, trying to let the Cass and Co. influence me into buying their cookies...

National Day Celebrations
NJ must have the worst theme for this year's National Day Celebrations. Whoever heard of Community Service on National Day?? Okay granted the activities for the day weren't too bad. Children and elderly came over for interaction, games and concert... My class was in charge of Jamiyah Home for the Aged. This old man that I befriended looked like Dr Tony Tan, and he was telling me about living life to the fullest... The concert was good, refreshments provided for them needs improvement. But they're really great folks...

Old A01 Class Outing
Almost all the people in NJ from old A01 went, and Jia Mein was the only one non-NJ... Bargh the rest are all mugging/busy, but it was still fun to have a class outing. Pasta-mania for lunch, I was stuffing myself full of cheese. Met Cheryn and Chek Haw and Jun Rong, then we did a line-walk across the traffic light and people had to squeeze in between us like shredded cheese. Each of us got a "clique bottle" in the shape of a panda... Took neoprints...

Shuffle Thoughts #1
I want to eat jelly! Just bought this pack of Cherry JELL-O, planning to prepare it tomorrow or Wednesday.

Shuffle Thoughts #2
Green Audit is horrendous. The records inherited from the senoirs were sometimes inconsistent or incoherent, a lot of counting work to be done... GARRGH... I think I need to sacrifice my Wednesday holiday to go down to school to count classrooms. 15th August looms...

Shuffle Thoughts #3
I want to plant myself into a pot and be a potted plant. Maybe I'll attach a trolley to the bottom so that I can wheel about and be portable. And I want to photosynthesize! I need to mutate myself with chlorophyll... (:

Whoo I'm back from Malaysia! Went up by train to Bekok on Friday afternoon and came back on Sunday evening... Bekok is a small town at Endau Rompin National Park, and we were there to help deliver clothes and food to the orang asli kids over there. All in all 6 people in total went: Grant Pereira from Green Volunteers Network, me, Shu Fen (who's the only other one in Greenlink), Hui Xian, and Shoof's classmates Jeffrey and Adrian.

So yup I skipped my last tutorial (Maths) on Friday so that I can go home early to change, oh and I skipped first tutorial (Economics) too... All of us met up at Tanjong Pagar MRT first, then hopped over to GVN office to meet Grant and get all the bags that we're supposed to bring there. Caught 2 taxis, drove down to the train station and lugged all our stuff onto the train and sat through 3 hours of Bridge and Bluff... Oh I finally learnt how to play Bridge! And through the course I realised too that Adrian was in my Japanese class in secondary one...

Uh so when we reached our station this guy who was the village headman's son drove us for a quick supper, then we went straight to Grant's house in the village... Gosh the house was absolutely FILTHY... We could only guess what Grant did to his stuff, and especially when the house was left vacant for 2 months? We spent the rest of the night Dettol-ing the entire house and sweeping and mopping... By the end of the cleaning it was relatively clean, so we stargazed for a while with our binoculars... THE SKIES ARE SIMPLY SPECTACULAR... Zillions of stars crowding together. Saw 7 shooting stars in half an hour. Okay, we bathed, slept comfortably in our sleeping bags...

Early next morning all of us went for a nature walk just as all the magpies are waking up. Got out of our village and walked past plantations, bird-watched, nature-appreciating... We walked all the way to the next nearest village, smelt all the flowers and saw all kinds of fruit trees... On the way back we stopped by the village's school compound. It was just this small house which our Greenlink seniors helped painted the last time that they were there. Was absolutely surprised to see a NJC Greenlink logo painted on one of the walls... Somehow I felt immensely proud that Greenlink has spread all the way to Bekok... Hee hee!

When we got back to our house the kids started arriving. Gave them breakfast, distributed out the new clothes to them... Oh we saw Xinmin Secondary School's shirt on one of the kids... Hee it did look a bit out of place there... The kids were awesome! Immediately they warmed up to all of us, and even though Jeff and Grant were the only ones who knew how to converse to them in Malay, the kids still played with us... We drew itik and ikan and ancing and kucing with them, and yes I do know some simple nouns in Malay... Hee! Grant and Shu Fen went to town later to get batteries and food, while the rest of us stayed in the house swatting houseflies and talking to the kids. Gosh there sure are swarms of flies over there! I think I killed more flies than I ever did in my lifetime. Anyway, Jeff got into this "neat-freak" frenzy and got around to cleaning the whole house. We flooded the floors to clean out all the grime and lizard-droppings, then Jeff cleaned up the entire kitchen while we did the rooms. By the time Grant and Shu Fen came back the house was so clean that Grant was complaining that he couldn't find his rearranged stuff. Blooiee...

And for lunch we did noodles for them. Sliced up all the carrots, mushrooms and everything and boiled noodles for the kids. Did some gardening afterwards, while Jeff and Adrian decided to try and go sleep. Meanwhile, Hui Xian, Shu Fen and me went to the steep sandy slope behind the house and just went nuts with the kids! The three of us sat down at the top of the slope (steep slope means hard rock), and the kids just kept rolling down the slope then climbing up again. They sure don't mind getting all sandy, and boy do they love takig photos! All sorts of funny poses were duly snapped... And all the while the kids just kept rolling down the slope and climbing again with the three of us pulling them up, only to let them slid down again...

Nah I don't know their names, but I do remember their faces, especially the "con-man kid" who just keep trying to get more food and I think the most bossy/cheeky of the kids... And there was this boy who was mute, but he was very inventive and could really dance well... Yups, Shu Fen slid down the slope with them at least twice I think because the kids just kept trying to get up by holding on to her... The dancing boy pulled me down once... Barrgh... Then the con-man started plucking daffodils and soon all the rest of the kids were plucking leaves and flowers and sticking it to their ears!! Tried to stop them from plucking the flowers but my Malay is limited to whatever that my mum and Atiqah has taught me, so all I managed was a feeble tak boleh...

When evening came we brought all the kids to the waterfall. And along the way we were making a whole ruckus with the kids, poking Shu Fen the most because none of us are afraid of pokes except her... They took ferns and tied them round their heads so they looked like army soldiers... Singing, apejer-ing... All the way until we reached the waterfall. It's not a very big waterfall, probably more like a rapid than waterfall... But it was big enough for all of us to play in. The kids back-flipped into the water, while we tried to balance on the slippery rock...

Spent half an hour in the freezing waters, then along the way back we were uprooting Singapore rhododendrons so that we could transplant them back at the house. Did some more gardening, planted the rhododendrons then it was dinner time. Afer that all of us were so tired from all that activity... Oh three of the kids stayed overnight with us, the con-man was one of them and another was this Chinese boy who was brought up in the village...

The next morning we left Adrian and Jeff sleeping in the house while the rest of us went for another morning walk. This time round we managed to hear the dawn chorus in much more detail... The kids were still trying to poke Shu Fen, and at one point they were swinging like Tarzans on lianas hanging on trees. When we got back we had breakfast, cleaned the house for one final time and said our goodbyes to the kids... Had chicken rice for lunch at the town, then went to the train station for our trip back to Singapore. More Bluff and Bridge on the train, and Grant grilled me for a while because he was sitting beside me. Saw a few Chinese internationals get detained because they don't have permits, then at the checkpoint this Chinese international had trouble with her passport and delayed everyone in the queue...

Shu Fen, me and Grant decided to go back to GVN office to help them seal and address letters, while the rest went back home early. So for the next 2~3 hours or so, me and Shu Fen just kept folding letters into envelopes and sealing them... By the time I reached home it was 8pm...

Whee hee today was school as normal. Student Council's feedback session was such a failure. I stayed back in school to do some homework, shuffled around with Shuffles, then went down to Jericho to cap off a long day... Reached home at 8.30pm...

Okay I need sleep.

Obscurity. It's there, I can feel it in my bones. But somehow, that thing just never surfaces. Much as I would like it to come out, it doesn't want to. Or maybe it's just shy...

Greenlink and the duties involved are killing me. Proposals, Green Audit, then reached home at 10pm just now from GVN office... Blooiee sooner or later I'll just crumble like a cookie. But heck at least this weekend I'll be overseas so I'll just take it as a form of relaxation.

I'm seriously lagging behind in my tutorials. I keep reminding myself to do my tutorial assignments, but somehow the incentive is just not there. Carrots don't work. Neither do forced persuasion. PIBROCH. Was glancing at Ruth's notebook as she was flipping through it. The word that was most outstanding was PIBROCH. What a lamentation. At least I know I'm not alone... Hee...

Darlie toothpaste... They're probably the only toothpaste that doesn't test on animals.

And the last thing I need to know is that I'm so popular in a particular science class, such that everyone turns their head at the sight of "the Greenlink president"... And I'm supposed to feel honoured when people chase up to me aimlessly... Oh I feel like a celebrity... ^_^

Food wish list: GUMMY BEARS, steamed crabs, pancakes, JELL-O, chendol, TIRAMISU ICE CREAM, ice kachang, prata, YONG TAU FOO, the stuff that Chiew Yee always eat but refuses to give me, PORRIDGE, soya milk, BANANAS, Chewy... Oh gosh my stomach is insatiable...

Hmm... I've almost reached the end of another week... Got back all my Common Tests results. BOEE and a C5. Well, what can I say? Work harder for Promotional Exams?? Oh heck, there's just too many stuff to be done at the moment. But hey, look on the bright side: I've been saying "blooiee" so much, so it's only fair if I get BOEE... And remember what Ms Teo told us?? Her student slept through all his lectures and tutorials and in the end he got BED. So technically speaking if I eat a lot in college I'll get FOOD... Blee this is dumb...

I've decided to make pancakes for myself tomorrow. Was at Temasek Junior College yesterday for a "River of Dreams" talk about Australia's rivers, then after that I went to get the pancake shake and syrup... I got Green's Crêpe Shake and Green's Maple Flavoured Syrup... According to the recipe it didn't seem too difficult to make those pancakes, so yup, pancakes for my meals tomorrow...




Maple Syrup Crêpe
1. Preheat a 20cm frypan and grease well.
2. Shake Green's Crêpe Shake bottle to loosen dry mix.
3. Remove lid, do not discard.
4. Add 2 cups (500ml) water to bottle. Replace lid. Turn bottle upside down, tap lid sharply on bench to loosen mix. Shake well.
5. Pour batter into entire base of frypan (approx 1/4 cup of batter). Cook over a low to medium heat for 1 - 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown.
6. Add Green's Maple Flavoured Syrup for taste. Serve hot.