I'm very very tired right now. It's almost 2am in the morning and I'm trying rapidly to prepare for the worship sessions for watch-night service tomorrow. Alicia called just now to tell me to prepare for 2 sessions! So that explains my huge panic. I need to calm down and think and ask God. Again.
Anyway, today was a long and tiring day. Went for Chris and Lingling's wedding reception at some chalet near the Changi Boardwalk. Met Yurong and Shermin at J8 in the morning for Pastamania, which was a horrible mistake cos it left us half-sick in the stomach. Scrambled around to get miscellaneous stuff (like my stamps! I can't believe they're sld out everywhere). Then met Biru and her friends Yanfang and Cheryl.
Took a long bus from Bishan all the way down to Changi area. Then we got lost somewhere at Changi Point due to a loss of direction, and had to walk a million miles just to reach the chalet. But it was quite worth it, considering the views of the beach, the sea, the boats, all the green green mangrove trees etc. Hung around, took photos, played rubbish, stoned for like 3 hours? Then walked out and took another long bus ride back to Bishan.
Met my family for dinner! Then went shopping for a while at J8 before going home.
It's a very tiring day! I think I walked a lot today. I walked to J8 in the morning, then walking in Changi Point, then I walked back from J8 after dinner too! Hahaha I'm paying adult fare for my transport now, and it's not cheap! So I'm trying to walk small distances wherever possible. It's good exercise too!
I had quite a terrible and traumatising shock today. Okay so it was 14 years ago, but it's still weird!! UGH. I think it's just me. I can't even handle 3 years??
I'm still thinking about my commitment for worship ministry. Yeah okay I told Aaron and Yurong yes to continue doing whatever I'm doing, but I still feel like I need a break. How how??
Exhausted. I need to sleep. It's New Year's Eve. 2007 is coming.
I like you. You're sweet.
Sunday, 31 December 2006
Saturday, 30 December 2006
It is an unearthly hour now. Haha. I can't sleep! Each time I close my eyes, I'll see this huge hamburger monster trying to eat me up. Blah!! I'm tired and sleepy but the hamburger monster refuses to leave me alone.
Okay let's blog about my day. My job interview at Sentosa! I went out at around 1pm, took 2 buses to get to Harbourfront Interchange, then took the Sentosa shuttle into Sentosa. At the ticketing booth I said "boo!" to the receptionist there, then I chatted with her about the Admissions Host job interview that I was going for and how I'm going to take over her job, cos I realised in a two week's time I could probably be sitting behind that same reception table. I got a free entry into the island! Took another bus to the main office, filled up some forms and went into the room with 3 other applicants of the same job who were all my age and finished A's. The HR executive that interviewed us was pretty! She looked 30 at most. Anyway, it was a fun interview cos all we have to do is to introduce ourselves and talk enough to fill about 10 minutes. This girl named Vera went first, then Gerard, then me, then the last guy whom I forgot his name. Oh oh, Vera was very good-looking! She looks remotely like Chantalle, you know, that kind of classy good-looking. But I think she's attached already. The HR executive knows my dad. Err like duh cos my dad introduced me to her? Anyway the whole thing was over in slightly under an hour.
Then I called my dad cos I initially planned to go find him on the island. But I think he was busy, so I got out of Sentosa and went to Vivo instead. I wanted to go Candy Empire, and guess who I happily bumped into at Harbourfront MRT? Faith! She was on her way home from shopping with her friend at Vivo. So I dragged her along with me, spent half an hour shopping for aimless stuff before I left her, then took the same 2 buses back to Bishan for worship practice.
Went to the market to buy food and bimbo drink with Tammy! Then was the lonely back-up singer for Biru because Tammy's sick. Haha okay then it was cell group time! Then I hung around long enough before walking Shermin to the bus stop again. Yay Shermin and I are the "walking to bus stop" buddies! Then I came home, told my dad all about today's interview before going to bed. But I couldn't sleep, so here I am now.
I've made some decisions about my commitments in church for my remaining 3 months before I go army. Talked to Matthew about it and I think it seems quite sound. Or at least, it's in line with what (I think) God wants me to try and do. 1) Step down from cell leadership by end of January. 2) Continue doing whatever I'm doing in worship ministry till enlistment. 3) Going into discipleship. 4) Continue my duties as Recruiting Sergeant and work out things with Capt Hary.
Happily volunteered for worship leading for youth watch-night service. YAY!
I love interviews! I don't see why people can be nervous or they get tongue-tied or they don't know what to say at interviews. I think I will never run out of things to say at interviews! Today I was happily rambling on and on about my life stories and my Green Link experiences and other stuff. Hahaha go on interview me!! Can I just go for all the job interviews but don't turn up when they call me to work?
And. I think I'm naggy. I still remember myself asking Pei Ying last year what she thought of me as a cell group leader. So there I was, eagerly bouncing and excited and expecting her to say "you're a sensational cell group leader" or something, but she took 2 seconds to think about the question, then she said "NAGGY" in her most serious face. Okay that's a joke Pei Ying's never serious! But she said I'm naggy!! WEH. I don't think I'm naggy.
I want to sleep. Go away you stupid hamburger monster.
Okay let's blog about my day. My job interview at Sentosa! I went out at around 1pm, took 2 buses to get to Harbourfront Interchange, then took the Sentosa shuttle into Sentosa. At the ticketing booth I said "boo!" to the receptionist there, then I chatted with her about the Admissions Host job interview that I was going for and how I'm going to take over her job, cos I realised in a two week's time I could probably be sitting behind that same reception table. I got a free entry into the island! Took another bus to the main office, filled up some forms and went into the room with 3 other applicants of the same job who were all my age and finished A's. The HR executive that interviewed us was pretty! She looked 30 at most. Anyway, it was a fun interview cos all we have to do is to introduce ourselves and talk enough to fill about 10 minutes. This girl named Vera went first, then Gerard, then me, then the last guy whom I forgot his name. Oh oh, Vera was very good-looking! She looks remotely like Chantalle, you know, that kind of classy good-looking. But I think she's attached already. The HR executive knows my dad. Err like duh cos my dad introduced me to her? Anyway the whole thing was over in slightly under an hour.
Then I called my dad cos I initially planned to go find him on the island. But I think he was busy, so I got out of Sentosa and went to Vivo instead. I wanted to go Candy Empire, and guess who I happily bumped into at Harbourfront MRT? Faith! She was on her way home from shopping with her friend at Vivo. So I dragged her along with me, spent half an hour shopping for aimless stuff before I left her, then took the same 2 buses back to Bishan for worship practice.
Went to the market to buy food and bimbo drink with Tammy! Then was the lonely back-up singer for Biru because Tammy's sick. Haha okay then it was cell group time! Then I hung around long enough before walking Shermin to the bus stop again. Yay Shermin and I are the "walking to bus stop" buddies! Then I came home, told my dad all about today's interview before going to bed. But I couldn't sleep, so here I am now.
I've made some decisions about my commitments in church for my remaining 3 months before I go army. Talked to Matthew about it and I think it seems quite sound. Or at least, it's in line with what (I think) God wants me to try and do. 1) Step down from cell leadership by end of January. 2) Continue doing whatever I'm doing in worship ministry till enlistment. 3) Going into discipleship. 4) Continue my duties as Recruiting Sergeant and work out things with Capt Hary.
Happily volunteered for worship leading for youth watch-night service. YAY!
I love interviews! I don't see why people can be nervous or they get tongue-tied or they don't know what to say at interviews. I think I will never run out of things to say at interviews! Today I was happily rambling on and on about my life stories and my Green Link experiences and other stuff. Hahaha go on interview me!! Can I just go for all the job interviews but don't turn up when they call me to work?
And. I think I'm naggy. I still remember myself asking Pei Ying last year what she thought of me as a cell group leader. So there I was, eagerly bouncing and excited and expecting her to say "you're a sensational cell group leader" or something, but she took 2 seconds to think about the question, then she said "NAGGY" in her most serious face. Okay that's a joke Pei Ying's never serious! But she said I'm naggy!! WEH. I don't think I'm naggy.
I want to sleep. Go away you stupid hamburger monster.
Friday, 29 December 2006
Goody! My dad just called me to inform that the Sentosa HR has shortlisted me for an interview. Applying as an Admission Host!! It's just ticketing la but it sounds so grand. Hahaha!! 3pm at Sentosa later.
Anyway, I'm loving Nutseed more and more each day. Eh okay I mean, not that I don't already love her, but I think love is something that you can keep adding on everyday. The weather is super cold due to the long, dreary rain these few days, so Nutseed is curling up in one corner of her cage everyday. I decided to throw in some shreds of used toilet paper rolls for her, and do you know what she did?? She made a enclosure out of all those shreds and even have a blanket for herself! Now she looks so cosy and adorable.
And and and, I'm beginning to think that Chris Tomlin is kinda cool. Hahaha I know Lurong is hot over him, but I don't really like his songs cos they all have the same chords and it's repeated a million times. But now I think he's funky and writes meaningful songs! Whee.
Alrighty. That's all for now.
Anyway, I'm loving Nutseed more and more each day. Eh okay I mean, not that I don't already love her, but I think love is something that you can keep adding on everyday. The weather is super cold due to the long, dreary rain these few days, so Nutseed is curling up in one corner of her cage everyday. I decided to throw in some shreds of used toilet paper rolls for her, and do you know what she did?? She made a enclosure out of all those shreds and even have a blanket for herself! Now she looks so cosy and adorable.
And and and, I'm beginning to think that Chris Tomlin is kinda cool. Hahaha I know Lurong is hot over him, but I don't really like his songs cos they all have the same chords and it's repeated a million times. But now I think he's funky and writes meaningful songs! Whee.
Alrighty. That's all for now.
Thursday, 28 December 2006
Hmm let's see let's see! I've got quite a bit to blog! Mostly random and probably incoherent stuff, but they sum up my life for the past few days okay!!
I would have wanted to put up a post yesterday, but the Internet was disrupted due to the huge earthquake in Taiwan. I thought something was wrong with my computer or something, until Tammy told me hers was equally laggy too. So I went to Singtel's website and saw the notice that the earthquake blah blah blah. Then channelnewsasia.com had some report on it too.
You know how sometimes you feel that man is actually subservient to the forces of nature? I mean, forget about how much we are polluting the earth or how we're pitching a hole in the ozone layer. All it takes is one huge earthquake from Mother Earth, and our busy human commercialised life is plunged into information darkness.
So who's the more powerful of the two? I believe the earth's forces are infinitely stronger than all of mankind's pathetic inventions and industrialisations. Maybe it's Mother Earth's way of responding to our pollutions. When She's unhappy, She just launches a tsunami or some typhoon and kill millions. Man can continue destroying the earth, but ultimately we'll all succumb to volcanoes and earthquakes and diseases and catastrophic stuff like that.
Enough about that.
Wanted to go Pulau Ubin on Tuesday, Wednesday and today. But it was raining almost the whole day! Blah. I wanted to go ahead with my poncho and immerse myself into the Ubin rain, but my mum was afraid I'll drown in some freak flood.
My dad said he's helping me to submit a job application to Sentosa's HR. Ticketing, admission, all those kind of part-time jobs. Whee!
I'm very proud of myself okay! I tried I tried I really did! I tried to be nice and not be a meano bad ass. It wasn't much actually. I was still quite insolent and contemptuous and pretentious, but I could feel the difference.
I went to return Chris Ngoh his shirt (which I borrowed) today. So on the way there, I called him but he rejected my call, so I thought he was probably asleep. But I messaged him all the same, then he replied " Okays :) ". Then one block away his house, I saw him walking towards me. Apparently he's on his way home, so I happily passed back the shirt to him!
I re-read Charlotte's Web! It's a really nice book, and from a Literature student's perspective, I can easily see why it's such a good Lit text. The themes are like King Lear and it's a timeless classic. Haha! I think Charlotte is simply charming and Wilbur is adorable.
Is the movie nice?? I wanna watch!! Who wants to watch with me?
And and, I received the EAGLES award! For those of you who don't know what that is, it's some award that MOE gives out for leadership recognition in schools. It's a $150 okay!! But I just found out from Kai Jie that he got good progress award, which is $200. BLAH! I should have just studied harder and get more money right?? Hahaha.
I think Laura is a nice name. That is, until Jaslyn reminded me that that mellow, soft, incompetent, fragile-like-hell incompetent childish girl in Glass Menagerie is called Laura too! Gosh I completely forgotten, and now I'm not so sure whether I still like the name.
I mean, I still want to name my kids Ruth and Jason and Heather and Feather! But Laura's a nice name. Charlotte is a nice name too, after reading about her web. And and, whoever names their daughter FERN?? But it's a cute name!
"Celebrated" 4th anniversary with Eleanor yesterday.
I've done a lot of year-end reflection these past few days. I think it's quite a bad year for me, but it's better towards the end. Hmm. And I've thought about commitments, decisions, resolutions, loads of things. Lemme finalise everything tomorrow! Tomorrow's the last day of reflection for me.
Okay. Time for bed.
I would have wanted to put up a post yesterday, but the Internet was disrupted due to the huge earthquake in Taiwan. I thought something was wrong with my computer or something, until Tammy told me hers was equally laggy too. So I went to Singtel's website and saw the notice that the earthquake blah blah blah. Then channelnewsasia.com had some report on it too.
You know how sometimes you feel that man is actually subservient to the forces of nature? I mean, forget about how much we are polluting the earth or how we're pitching a hole in the ozone layer. All it takes is one huge earthquake from Mother Earth, and our busy human commercialised life is plunged into information darkness.
So who's the more powerful of the two? I believe the earth's forces are infinitely stronger than all of mankind's pathetic inventions and industrialisations. Maybe it's Mother Earth's way of responding to our pollutions. When She's unhappy, She just launches a tsunami or some typhoon and kill millions. Man can continue destroying the earth, but ultimately we'll all succumb to volcanoes and earthquakes and diseases and catastrophic stuff like that.
Enough about that.
Wanted to go Pulau Ubin on Tuesday, Wednesday and today. But it was raining almost the whole day! Blah. I wanted to go ahead with my poncho and immerse myself into the Ubin rain, but my mum was afraid I'll drown in some freak flood.
My dad said he's helping me to submit a job application to Sentosa's HR. Ticketing, admission, all those kind of part-time jobs. Whee!
I'm very proud of myself okay! I tried I tried I really did! I tried to be nice and not be a meano bad ass. It wasn't much actually. I was still quite insolent and contemptuous and pretentious, but I could feel the difference.
I went to return Chris Ngoh his shirt (which I borrowed) today. So on the way there, I called him but he rejected my call, so I thought he was probably asleep. But I messaged him all the same, then he replied " Okays :) ". Then one block away his house, I saw him walking towards me. Apparently he's on his way home, so I happily passed back the shirt to him!
I re-read Charlotte's Web! It's a really nice book, and from a Literature student's perspective, I can easily see why it's such a good Lit text. The themes are like King Lear and it's a timeless classic. Haha! I think Charlotte is simply charming and Wilbur is adorable.
Is the movie nice?? I wanna watch!! Who wants to watch with me?
And and, I received the EAGLES award! For those of you who don't know what that is, it's some award that MOE gives out for leadership recognition in schools. It's a $150 okay!! But I just found out from Kai Jie that he got good progress award, which is $200. BLAH! I should have just studied harder and get more money right?? Hahaha.
I think Laura is a nice name. That is, until Jaslyn reminded me that that mellow, soft, incompetent, fragile-like-hell incompetent childish girl in Glass Menagerie is called Laura too! Gosh I completely forgotten, and now I'm not so sure whether I still like the name.
I mean, I still want to name my kids Ruth and Jason and Heather and Feather! But Laura's a nice name. Charlotte is a nice name too, after reading about her web. And and, whoever names their daughter FERN?? But it's a cute name!
"Celebrated" 4th anniversary with Eleanor yesterday.
I've done a lot of year-end reflection these past few days. I think it's quite a bad year for me, but it's better towards the end. Hmm. And I've thought about commitments, decisions, resolutions, loads of things. Lemme finalise everything tomorrow! Tomorrow's the last day of reflection for me.
Okay. Time for bed.
Monday, 25 December 2006
Christmas today! I stayed up till 4am last night to draw and write cards for people. Not very successful, cos I only did 9 cards in total. The rest I'll do them over the course of this week. Anyway, went for Christmas service in the morning. The scripture recital and enactment thing was quite weird. I forgot the verses that I'm supposed to say and tripped over my own words. Then after the service we exchanged gifts, cards, food, all else. I came home after that and here I am now.
Actually I'm quite inclined to just sit here and vegetate and think about GLOBAL ISSUES. Haha! I'm in an especially philosophical mood nowadays. It's nearing the end of the year, and I'll be off to army next year, so obviously there's tonnes of things to think about. Like how to boil cheese without it melting. I told Alicia that I'm thinking how to solve world poverty and feed all the hungry people, and I plan to start a Foundation For The Betterment Of Humanity (FFTBOH) soon.
Tomorrow is my year-end personal retreat for me. I'm going to Pulau Ubin alone to do some thinking. Pebbles. Let's hope it doesn't rain.
Here's a huge THANK YOU to the exceptionally awesome friends I have who cared enough to offer encouragement, comfort, companionship and solace through this time. No names here, but you know who you are. Thanks for listening to all my crap. Thanks for being right there for me when I'm feeling like manure. Thanks for acceding to my unreasonable demands and trying everything to keep me happy. You peeps were there when it mattered most even when I don't think I deserve it. I promise you I'll treasure all these sweet friendships and will pay it back. Have no idea how, but I'll be grateful all my life for everything you've done.
I'm trying to figure out how to distinguish between a structured disorder and an unstructered order. How can you express your own thoughts effectively in the midst of this complicated world? Will you be able to communicate fluently and accurately to portray whatever you are thinking? There is a thin fine line between the unfettered state of garbled nonsense, and the constrained limitations of sublime ingenuity. All too often this is disrupted and distorted by the falsified fantasies that everyone claims to gratify. The challenge, therefore, lies in the providence of a reasonable alternative reality that can both satisfy and edify the mind.
Actually I'm quite inclined to just sit here and vegetate and think about GLOBAL ISSUES. Haha! I'm in an especially philosophical mood nowadays. It's nearing the end of the year, and I'll be off to army next year, so obviously there's tonnes of things to think about. Like how to boil cheese without it melting. I told Alicia that I'm thinking how to solve world poverty and feed all the hungry people, and I plan to start a Foundation For The Betterment Of Humanity (FFTBOH) soon.
Tomorrow is my year-end personal retreat for me. I'm going to Pulau Ubin alone to do some thinking. Pebbles. Let's hope it doesn't rain.
Here's a huge THANK YOU to the exceptionally awesome friends I have who cared enough to offer encouragement, comfort, companionship and solace through this time. No names here, but you know who you are. Thanks for listening to all my crap. Thanks for being right there for me when I'm feeling like manure. Thanks for acceding to my unreasonable demands and trying everything to keep me happy. You peeps were there when it mattered most even when I don't think I deserve it. I promise you I'll treasure all these sweet friendships and will pay it back. Have no idea how, but I'll be grateful all my life for everything you've done.
I'm trying to figure out how to distinguish between a structured disorder and an unstructered order. How can you express your own thoughts effectively in the midst of this complicated world? Will you be able to communicate fluently and accurately to portray whatever you are thinking? There is a thin fine line between the unfettered state of garbled nonsense, and the constrained limitations of sublime ingenuity. All too often this is disrupted and distorted by the falsified fantasies that everyone claims to gratify. The challenge, therefore, lies in the providence of a reasonable alternative reality that can both satisfy and edify the mind.
Sunday, 24 December 2006
Christmas Eve today. Exactly 3 years has passed since Shannon died. 3 years is long enough for me to forget a lot of things, yet it's short enough for me to recall and remember a lot of things too. It's long enough for me to get over everything, but it's still too short for the pain to go away. Sigh.
People keep saying to discover the true joys of Christmas. To find the meaning of Christmas. Yeah I know the joy of giving and sharing, the significance of Christ coming to earth, salvation, hope, love, humility etc etc. Frankly speaking, it's no longer a novelty to me. I'm numb to all those cliched phrases and sleazy shopping taglines that tell you to give and share. It's really easier said than done. Try having a loved one wrenched away from you on Christmas. 3 years later, will you happily go on the streets and speak about the joys of Christmas without doubting what you say?
Yet that's the truth of it. Yes it's said too many times, yes it's overly hyped up. But that's the truth. Christmas is about Jesus Christ coming to earth to bring hope for everyone. It's an act of love from God.
Blah. I wish I can just go into hiding now and emerge again when it's Chinese New Year. I'm sorry for all the parties or celebrations or musicals or performances that I've turned down this year. I'm sorry I performed in a Christmas musical-drama half-heartedly. You can try again next year. Maybe by then I'll be in a better shape for Christmas.
UGH.
Anyway, today wasn't much. Went for Christmas Eve service in the morning. Bible readings, carols, songs. Then Shermin and I went to J8 for last-minute shopping. Eh okay that's not really shopping, cos both of us are not giving presents to anyone this year and we're just writing cards for people. Came home, spent the rest of the day watching all the holiday shows on TV, then now I'm busy drawing and writing cards for about 20 people only? Yeah I'm using crayons and stamps and stickers to try and create a card from drawing block, and I'm lazy to write for ten million people.
I'm trying to focus now. I'm trying to not let the past affect my present circumstances now. I'm trying to ask for directions now. I'm trying hard to listen to any promptings.
And I still think I love you.
Whoopee. This entry sounds super emo.
Anyway, shopping with Shermin took my mind off things for a while. We came across a few flea-market, pasar malam style shops at the bus interchange. I bought this small box of kids construction toy (similar to Lego)! It's funky. Pictures below.
The unopened box.
Fully constructed with all the stickers in place.
People keep saying to discover the true joys of Christmas. To find the meaning of Christmas. Yeah I know the joy of giving and sharing, the significance of Christ coming to earth, salvation, hope, love, humility etc etc. Frankly speaking, it's no longer a novelty to me. I'm numb to all those cliched phrases and sleazy shopping taglines that tell you to give and share. It's really easier said than done. Try having a loved one wrenched away from you on Christmas. 3 years later, will you happily go on the streets and speak about the joys of Christmas without doubting what you say?
Yet that's the truth of it. Yes it's said too many times, yes it's overly hyped up. But that's the truth. Christmas is about Jesus Christ coming to earth to bring hope for everyone. It's an act of love from God.
Blah. I wish I can just go into hiding now and emerge again when it's Chinese New Year. I'm sorry for all the parties or celebrations or musicals or performances that I've turned down this year. I'm sorry I performed in a Christmas musical-drama half-heartedly. You can try again next year. Maybe by then I'll be in a better shape for Christmas.
UGH.
Anyway, today wasn't much. Went for Christmas Eve service in the morning. Bible readings, carols, songs. Then Shermin and I went to J8 for last-minute shopping. Eh okay that's not really shopping, cos both of us are not giving presents to anyone this year and we're just writing cards for people. Came home, spent the rest of the day watching all the holiday shows on TV, then now I'm busy drawing and writing cards for about 20 people only? Yeah I'm using crayons and stamps and stickers to try and create a card from drawing block, and I'm lazy to write for ten million people.
I'm trying to focus now. I'm trying to not let the past affect my present circumstances now. I'm trying to ask for directions now. I'm trying hard to listen to any promptings.
And I still think I love you.
Whoopee. This entry sounds super emo.
Anyway, shopping with Shermin took my mind off things for a while. We came across a few flea-market, pasar malam style shops at the bus interchange. I bought this small box of kids construction toy (similar to Lego)! It's funky. Pictures below.
The unopened box.
Fully constructed with all the stickers in place.
Saturday, 23 December 2006
Ooh okay! I just came back from church drama camp at St John's island. Eh actually I was back on Thursday afternoon, but then there were extensive and intensive rehearsals for the actual drama performance (which was last night), so that means I haven't really been home much for the past 5 days. Here's a diary account for each day from Monday onwards! Haha.
Monday 18122006
Supposed to meet at 7.30am in the morning at corps for mass dance practice, but all of us "dance instructors" turned up late. I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before cos I was packing?? Frantic rush to finalise everything, everyone else started arriving at around 9am, then we played some games, found our groups, then me and Tammy did our mass dance segment. Then we took a bus down to Marina South Pier, took the one-hour-half ferry there, settled down, had a bit of drama practice. It was raining pigs, so barbeque for that night was cancelled and we slacked the day and night away cos the rain didn't stop one moment. Slept for 6 hours.
Tuesday 19122006
Still raining pigs. Lurong did morning devotion. Mass dance, drama practice, and we were supposed to have treasure hunt in the afternoon. The rain didn't let up one bit. Later we learnt that apparently Singapore was having some freakish rain which flooded Thomson and wherever else. But the sun did shine for about an hour after lunch? So me and Adriel happily thought that it was good enough for treasure hunt, and we went out for recce without our ponchos. Guess what? THUNDERSTORM. Caught out at the jetty and had to run all the way back to campsite, and treasure hunt was cancelled. Then I got moody and I went to colour pictures for decor, played in the rain with Clarissa. Alicia for worship at night, Ben Ng spoke about affirmation. Talentime practice. Slept for 5 hours.
Wednesday 20122006
First bright and sunny day! Sarah did morning devotion, drama practice, then Dezmand and I took charge of our water games. War games on the hilly slopes outside our campsite, which was a darn big compound. Then we went to play captain's ball with a slight twist with water bombs. I kinda overestimated the number of water bombs we needed, and I bought 1200 plastic bags in total! Left with over 400. But it was good cos we all had fun. Then it was Talentime at night! There was this solo part in the mass dance for all the groups to choreograph. Muaha. Biru did worship at night, Chris Chen gave a message, slept for 3 hours only cos I couldn't sleep.
Thursday 21122006
My turn to do morning devotion, then packed up, took the ferry back to mainland, dropped by on Kusu island. Haven't been there since I was 5?? Then it was back to corps for a full stage rehearsal. We did one detailed run-through which took 3-and-a-half hours. At 8pm I had to meet for another meeting for a small Christmas recital for Christmas service. I'm Gabriel the angel and I've got ten million lines to memorise. Went home late, slept for 9 hours.
Friday 22122006
Met for final run-throughs for the drama in the morning. Left for a short while in the afternoon to go down to some Ang Mo Kio police HQ to collect my NRIC and other cards that I lost. Had to wait for half an hour cos I forgot to bring along the reference number. And the police officer scolded me for being careless!! Blah. Anyway, by the time I got back, the last rehearsal we had took half an hour only. Dinner, make-up, backstage frenzy as we made sure everything was right. The actual performance was quite good, then mingled with the crowd and cleared up all the mess.
Whee hee. Here's my thank-you list for the past 5 days. First first, thanks to Clarissa for being the "stinky woman" and my play-in-the-rain mate just to keep me happy. And thanks to Shermin and her happy silly greetings and Yurong's weirdness. And and to Cheryl for being a wonderful group leader and a good mentor-mentoree relationship. Joel for my bathing partner, Dezmand for a fellow game master, Adriel for camp leadership, Aaron for coordinating the backstage, Shi Hui for companionship and Sarah for being my angel and Kenneth for my mortal. And the last kudos is for Tammy for choreographing and teaching the mass dance with me!
Okay. I sort of killed 2 stalks of flowers last night. I snapped the chrysanthemum Andre used for the funeral scene into 2 after the performance, then I snapped Clarissa's rose that Cheryn gave all of us, so I gave her my own instead. Sigh. I think En Ning happily threw my snapped rose away, or she gave it to her boyfriends.
The last drama camp was 3 years ago, but it was meaningful to me. Somehow this time round the camp was quite a nostalgic one for me. Sometimes your memories come back to haunt you. And often, things are just not the same anymore. I mean, I know I'm being a jerk, but that can't be helped. Things are just like that. And I rarely believe in something strong enough to be angry, but when I do, I guess I can be overly confrontational. Frustration, impatience, and I get angry at incompetent and shallow people.
Ugh. I shall not be unhappy. Oh oh! I've finally got my NRIC back! I've gone 10 long days without my identity card, and now I've got it back with me! Whoever that returned it to the police, THANK YOU. From now on if I find anything that doesn't belong to me, I'll turn it in to the police immediately!!
I missed my home while I was away at St John's. I missed my hamster too! I was eating those square crackers that you dip into your cup of Milo, and I started thinking about my Nutseed. Cos I normally let her out and she'll eat up all the crumbs I dropped on the table, but she wasn't there at St John's.
I'm in the midst of making some really really important decisions. Praying fervently for God to direct and guide me.
And, I'm quite happy for once. It's nearing Christmas, and I think this is the first time where I'm actually happy and not being some emo stucked-up brat. But don't expect me to give out presents okay! I'm quite broke. If I love you enough I'll draw you a nice card and write you a nice long message and Nutseed will sign it with me. If not, you can redeem a Christmas hug from me. If you don't want me to hug you, you can just shake hands with me.
I think I love you. I really do.
OKAY. Here's what I drew and coloured using crayons at the camp! Amelia Soh used them as part of her decor for yesterday night. I love using crayons!
VERY VERY NICE RIGHT??
Monday 18122006
Supposed to meet at 7.30am in the morning at corps for mass dance practice, but all of us "dance instructors" turned up late. I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before cos I was packing?? Frantic rush to finalise everything, everyone else started arriving at around 9am, then we played some games, found our groups, then me and Tammy did our mass dance segment. Then we took a bus down to Marina South Pier, took the one-hour-half ferry there, settled down, had a bit of drama practice. It was raining pigs, so barbeque for that night was cancelled and we slacked the day and night away cos the rain didn't stop one moment. Slept for 6 hours.
Tuesday 19122006
Still raining pigs. Lurong did morning devotion. Mass dance, drama practice, and we were supposed to have treasure hunt in the afternoon. The rain didn't let up one bit. Later we learnt that apparently Singapore was having some freakish rain which flooded Thomson and wherever else. But the sun did shine for about an hour after lunch? So me and Adriel happily thought that it was good enough for treasure hunt, and we went out for recce without our ponchos. Guess what? THUNDERSTORM. Caught out at the jetty and had to run all the way back to campsite, and treasure hunt was cancelled. Then I got moody and I went to colour pictures for decor, played in the rain with Clarissa. Alicia for worship at night, Ben Ng spoke about affirmation. Talentime practice. Slept for 5 hours.
Wednesday 20122006
First bright and sunny day! Sarah did morning devotion, drama practice, then Dezmand and I took charge of our water games. War games on the hilly slopes outside our campsite, which was a darn big compound. Then we went to play captain's ball with a slight twist with water bombs. I kinda overestimated the number of water bombs we needed, and I bought 1200 plastic bags in total! Left with over 400. But it was good cos we all had fun. Then it was Talentime at night! There was this solo part in the mass dance for all the groups to choreograph. Muaha. Biru did worship at night, Chris Chen gave a message, slept for 3 hours only cos I couldn't sleep.
Thursday 21122006
My turn to do morning devotion, then packed up, took the ferry back to mainland, dropped by on Kusu island. Haven't been there since I was 5?? Then it was back to corps for a full stage rehearsal. We did one detailed run-through which took 3-and-a-half hours. At 8pm I had to meet for another meeting for a small Christmas recital for Christmas service. I'm Gabriel the angel and I've got ten million lines to memorise. Went home late, slept for 9 hours.
Friday 22122006
Met for final run-throughs for the drama in the morning. Left for a short while in the afternoon to go down to some Ang Mo Kio police HQ to collect my NRIC and other cards that I lost. Had to wait for half an hour cos I forgot to bring along the reference number. And the police officer scolded me for being careless!! Blah. Anyway, by the time I got back, the last rehearsal we had took half an hour only. Dinner, make-up, backstage frenzy as we made sure everything was right. The actual performance was quite good, then mingled with the crowd and cleared up all the mess.
Whee hee. Here's my thank-you list for the past 5 days. First first, thanks to Clarissa for being the "stinky woman" and my play-in-the-rain mate just to keep me happy. And thanks to Shermin and her happy silly greetings and Yurong's weirdness. And and to Cheryl for being a wonderful group leader and a good mentor-mentoree relationship. Joel for my bathing partner, Dezmand for a fellow game master, Adriel for camp leadership, Aaron for coordinating the backstage, Shi Hui for companionship and Sarah for being my angel and Kenneth for my mortal. And the last kudos is for Tammy for choreographing and teaching the mass dance with me!
Okay. I sort of killed 2 stalks of flowers last night. I snapped the chrysanthemum Andre used for the funeral scene into 2 after the performance, then I snapped Clarissa's rose that Cheryn gave all of us, so I gave her my own instead. Sigh. I think En Ning happily threw my snapped rose away, or she gave it to her boyfriends.
The last drama camp was 3 years ago, but it was meaningful to me. Somehow this time round the camp was quite a nostalgic one for me. Sometimes your memories come back to haunt you. And often, things are just not the same anymore. I mean, I know I'm being a jerk, but that can't be helped. Things are just like that. And I rarely believe in something strong enough to be angry, but when I do, I guess I can be overly confrontational. Frustration, impatience, and I get angry at incompetent and shallow people.
Ugh. I shall not be unhappy. Oh oh! I've finally got my NRIC back! I've gone 10 long days without my identity card, and now I've got it back with me! Whoever that returned it to the police, THANK YOU. From now on if I find anything that doesn't belong to me, I'll turn it in to the police immediately!!
I missed my home while I was away at St John's. I missed my hamster too! I was eating those square crackers that you dip into your cup of Milo, and I started thinking about my Nutseed. Cos I normally let her out and she'll eat up all the crumbs I dropped on the table, but she wasn't there at St John's.
I'm in the midst of making some really really important decisions. Praying fervently for God to direct and guide me.
And, I'm quite happy for once. It's nearing Christmas, and I think this is the first time where I'm actually happy and not being some emo stucked-up brat. But don't expect me to give out presents okay! I'm quite broke. If I love you enough I'll draw you a nice card and write you a nice long message and Nutseed will sign it with me. If not, you can redeem a Christmas hug from me. If you don't want me to hug you, you can just shake hands with me.
I think I love you. I really do.
OKAY. Here's what I drew and coloured using crayons at the camp! Amelia Soh used them as part of her decor for yesterday night. I love using crayons!
VERY VERY NICE RIGHT??
Monday, 18 December 2006
I think I'm quite a huge stickler for grammatical and spelling accuracy, especially in written texts. I cannot stand the sight of a poorly constructed sentence structure, and I positively cringe at any spelling errors! If it's a grammatical error, I think it's forgivable to a certain extent because of the flexibility of the laws of grammar. You can say one sentence in a different way but still retain the meaning of it. still, tenses are very important. Blatant grammatical errors are horrible of course. But to me, it's spelling and punctuation errors that irks me the most. Misspelt words rank high on my "irritating list". I think it shows a high level of disrespect for the language! And punctuation! It's one of the most basic elements, but there are millions of people out there do not know how to use punctuation effectively or correctly. UGHH!!
Haha. And there's room in this world for people like me too! Working with Sarah on the drama script. I realised that she's equally stucked-up on proper use of the English language too! Maybe it's a trademark of Literature students. I spent like, ten million hours yesterday and today editing the entire script! Sentence structures, punctuation, tenses, spelling errors, whatever. It's very tough work, but I'm satisfied at the end to see something that is quite error-free!
I don't know. Sarah and I are arguing over almost everything. Even the simplest speech by some insignificant character, we have differing ideas on what the character should speak or how he should speak and what sentence first and all sorts of structuring. Eh if you want me to pay attention and observe everything right down to the minute details, you can give me something to edit. Now the script is nothing like the old one, cos we removed 2 settings and added huge amounts of dialogue. Blah. And I think "Hi! I'm Joy! Sweet seventeen! Hee hee! Currently in poly" doesn't sound bimbotic at all. Not one bit. RAWR.
Anyway, today was a busy day. I woke up extremely late today (almost 1pm) as I was busy editing last night. Then I rushed out of house to meet Rachel at J8for our date! Then I went to Jericho to pick up the volleyball that we need for games at St John's. Then I went to church to meet Sarah for more analysis over the script. Then I walked to Ang Mo Kio to buy plastic bags (for water bombs), but the shop closed already. So I had to go all the way back to Bishan market. Then I went back church again to deposit everything and to check for a lost document. Then I came home.
Going to be away for camp for the next 4 days. Mass dancing with Tammy and dance instructors at 7.30am in the morning!! It's a good thing church is home and home is church.
And did I mention how much I hate packing for holidays or camps?? I like to travel fuss-free. I don't want to bring unnecessary things; I don't want to carry huge luggages; I don't like to be burdened by heavy loads. That's why whenever I go travelling, I bring as little as possible and whatever that I need, I just buy along the way. But this time round it's St John's island, where there're no shops and no NOTHING for me to get! Heck I don't care I'm not bringing more underwear or more shoes than I need to.
Haha. And there's room in this world for people like me too! Working with Sarah on the drama script. I realised that she's equally stucked-up on proper use of the English language too! Maybe it's a trademark of Literature students. I spent like, ten million hours yesterday and today editing the entire script! Sentence structures, punctuation, tenses, spelling errors, whatever. It's very tough work, but I'm satisfied at the end to see something that is quite error-free!
I don't know. Sarah and I are arguing over almost everything. Even the simplest speech by some insignificant character, we have differing ideas on what the character should speak or how he should speak and what sentence first and all sorts of structuring. Eh if you want me to pay attention and observe everything right down to the minute details, you can give me something to edit. Now the script is nothing like the old one, cos we removed 2 settings and added huge amounts of dialogue. Blah. And I think "Hi! I'm Joy! Sweet seventeen! Hee hee! Currently in poly" doesn't sound bimbotic at all. Not one bit. RAWR.
Anyway, today was a busy day. I woke up extremely late today (almost 1pm) as I was busy editing last night. Then I rushed out of house to meet Rachel at J8for our date! Then I went to Jericho to pick up the volleyball that we need for games at St John's. Then I went to church to meet Sarah for more analysis over the script. Then I walked to Ang Mo Kio to buy plastic bags (for water bombs), but the shop closed already. So I had to go all the way back to Bishan market. Then I went back church again to deposit everything and to check for a lost document. Then I came home.
Going to be away for camp for the next 4 days. Mass dancing with Tammy and dance instructors at 7.30am in the morning!! It's a good thing church is home and home is church.
And did I mention how much I hate packing for holidays or camps?? I like to travel fuss-free. I don't want to bring unnecessary things; I don't want to carry huge luggages; I don't like to be burdened by heavy loads. That's why whenever I go travelling, I bring as little as possible and whatever that I need, I just buy along the way. But this time round it's St John's island, where there're no shops and no NOTHING for me to get! Heck I don't care I'm not bringing more underwear or more shoes than I need to.
Saturday, 16 December 2006
I'M SOOO HAPPY!! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!! I'M VERY HAPPY NOW OKAY!! I just got a letter from the police! So funky right I never receive letters from the police before!! Then they said someone found my "NRIC and other items", so now I've just gotta go down to some Ang Mo Kio police post to retrieve all of them. Oh my gosh I think this is the best good news that I've heard this year!! YAY!! That means I won't have to pay like ten million dollars just to replace my lost NRIC! And I don't have to worry about whether someone will use my particulars to go commit some hideous crimes. And I'll get my NJ tap-tap card back so I can go back school and tap like nuts!! Hooray!! Whoever that returned the cards, thank you thank you ten million times! I'm absolutely jubilant now. The only sad thing is that I made a loss report for my EZ-Link card already, so the student concession is terminated. But that's not such a bad thing cos I've only got 2 or 3 more weeks before the concession expires anyway, and I'll have to go get an adult EZ-Link.
I'm very happy!! I've been worrying for the past 3 or 4 days about this okay!! Normally I'm not very careless but this time it's really horrendous. Do you know that if you lost your NRIC and you fail to make a loss report and get a replacement within 2 weeks, you can be jailed?? That means technically, I might end up in jail!! But yay I'm safe from being imprisoned for the time being. I'm really very very happy!!! But the thing is, I have to collect all the cards within 2 weeks from last Wednesday onwards. And I'll be away at St John's island from Monday to Thursday next week, then they don't open on weekends and on public holidays, so that means I must get it next Friday after camping at St John's! I can't wait!!
I'm really very happy you know!! That means by next Friday, I won't be an illegal immigrant anymore! I'll get back my identity! I won't have to carry my PASSPORT around for identification! Can you believe it? I opened a bank account with my PASSPORT for identification! It's so embarassing can!! Shi Hui can testify. I don't think anyone uses a PASSPORT except to travel. Okay I've learnt my lesson. I learnt that my NRIC is a very important piece of identity documentation.
Anyway today has been quite a good day. Taught Wei Ting, Dezmand and Joel the mass dance routine! Then helped out to make the coffins for the drama, then went shopping with Aaron to go get paint, then came back for another long and tiring meeting with Sarah, Cheryn and Aaron over the script, then I went down to the airport with Faith and Eleanor to send Greg off to Canada. He's going there for 4 months to study and holiday. Whoopee I'm going to miss Greg for a bit.
I'm quite proud of myself. I'm trying to make the effort to not be so dismissive and so stucked-up. I'm trying okay!! But no matter what, there's always some awkward moments here and there, but at least ignoring those weird situations is the first step towards reconciliation.
I'M VERY HAPPY!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!
I'm very happy!! I've been worrying for the past 3 or 4 days about this okay!! Normally I'm not very careless but this time it's really horrendous. Do you know that if you lost your NRIC and you fail to make a loss report and get a replacement within 2 weeks, you can be jailed?? That means technically, I might end up in jail!! But yay I'm safe from being imprisoned for the time being. I'm really very very happy!!! But the thing is, I have to collect all the cards within 2 weeks from last Wednesday onwards. And I'll be away at St John's island from Monday to Thursday next week, then they don't open on weekends and on public holidays, so that means I must get it next Friday after camping at St John's! I can't wait!!
I'm really very happy you know!! That means by next Friday, I won't be an illegal immigrant anymore! I'll get back my identity! I won't have to carry my PASSPORT around for identification! Can you believe it? I opened a bank account with my PASSPORT for identification! It's so embarassing can!! Shi Hui can testify. I don't think anyone uses a PASSPORT except to travel. Okay I've learnt my lesson. I learnt that my NRIC is a very important piece of identity documentation.
Anyway today has been quite a good day. Taught Wei Ting, Dezmand and Joel the mass dance routine! Then helped out to make the coffins for the drama, then went shopping with Aaron to go get paint, then came back for another long and tiring meeting with Sarah, Cheryn and Aaron over the script, then I went down to the airport with Faith and Eleanor to send Greg off to Canada. He's going there for 4 months to study and holiday. Whoopee I'm going to miss Greg for a bit.
I'm quite proud of myself. I'm trying to make the effort to not be so dismissive and so stucked-up. I'm trying okay!! But no matter what, there's always some awkward moments here and there, but at least ignoring those weird situations is the first step towards reconciliation.
I'M VERY HAPPY!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!
HOORAY! Tammy and me are the greatest! We've finally completed the entire mass dance choreography! And we've fine-tuned every single step possible so that it links nicely and looks funky and cool!! Yay yay! This project started all the way in September okay!! But then we decided to change songs halfway, and then we got lazy, and then we got tired, so the new song and the new dance steps took 3 weeks (actually it's only 4 or 5 days in total if we hadn't been that lazy). Whatever la the thing is, it's a cool dance!! Yeah!!
And I did something unthinkable last night. Something that I never envisioned myself to do. Something that I wouldn't have done even if you've given me TEN MILLION dollars. But I figured it's something that's quite inevitable. So what the heck, I offered my valuable expertise and whatever is the outcome, I'll just take it in stride. I did try okay!!
After debating for a very very long time, I finally decided to tell Della I want out from the dance for the drama. Was feeling very stretched out cos I realised I was committing to TEN MILLION things for the drama and the camp. I was half expecting her to tell me to rethink about my decision or something like that. But she gleefully told me it's okay cos it gives her more creative room. Blooiee. Sometimes my life is a bit weird huh?? I was really at a huge loss okay! I was weighing all the factors, then I started questioning my own responsibilities, then I asked God for direction. So I called Della with trepidation, and she sounded almost too happy to let me go. WEIRD HUH. That's why I think my life is out to get myself.
Speaking of which, I'm really going to be doing TEN MILLION things at the camp. Let's try and be metaphysical here (although Yurong will understand). I'm a drain choked with leaves because there are a lot of trees, because there's a lot of soil so there's a lot of trees so there's a lot of leaves, and the sweeper is kinda slow so the drain becomes choked. But the trees can transform into pine trees so that they'll never shed their leaves again. And there's trees dying and growing too.
Then I led worship tonight! I think I'm really getting used to be onstage and singing, cos today I didn't feel nervous at all! Haha I think the worship team and all the singers were marvellous today. And and, I got an encouragement message from Ben Ng! Very exciting!!
Cell group was only me, Rachel and Jolene in the servery. Was supposed to get Jolene a cake (her birthday's on last Tuesday) but I thought that she wasn't coming but in the end she was there so there was no cake. But I cooked macaroni and cheese today! Eh that counts as a cake right?? And Rachel kept going TEN MILLION whatever, and I can't differentiate who is Lu and who is Xin from GOONG.
And I opened a new personal bank account today! Went to some bank near J8 with Shi Hui today. So now I've got a new POSB card. I think it's a little consolation to get a new card after my 3 lost cards. I wonder how long before I lose this one too.
Current song now: What The World Will Never Take, Hillsong's. Whoopee dance dance!!
And I did something unthinkable last night. Something that I never envisioned myself to do. Something that I wouldn't have done even if you've given me TEN MILLION dollars. But I figured it's something that's quite inevitable. So what the heck, I offered my valuable expertise and whatever is the outcome, I'll just take it in stride. I did try okay!!
After debating for a very very long time, I finally decided to tell Della I want out from the dance for the drama. Was feeling very stretched out cos I realised I was committing to TEN MILLION things for the drama and the camp. I was half expecting her to tell me to rethink about my decision or something like that. But she gleefully told me it's okay cos it gives her more creative room. Blooiee. Sometimes my life is a bit weird huh?? I was really at a huge loss okay! I was weighing all the factors, then I started questioning my own responsibilities, then I asked God for direction. So I called Della with trepidation, and she sounded almost too happy to let me go. WEIRD HUH. That's why I think my life is out to get myself.
Speaking of which, I'm really going to be doing TEN MILLION things at the camp. Let's try and be metaphysical here (although Yurong will understand). I'm a drain choked with leaves because there are a lot of trees, because there's a lot of soil so there's a lot of trees so there's a lot of leaves, and the sweeper is kinda slow so the drain becomes choked. But the trees can transform into pine trees so that they'll never shed their leaves again. And there's trees dying and growing too.
Then I led worship tonight! I think I'm really getting used to be onstage and singing, cos today I didn't feel nervous at all! Haha I think the worship team and all the singers were marvellous today. And and, I got an encouragement message from Ben Ng! Very exciting!!
Cell group was only me, Rachel and Jolene in the servery. Was supposed to get Jolene a cake (her birthday's on last Tuesday) but I thought that she wasn't coming but in the end she was there so there was no cake. But I cooked macaroni and cheese today! Eh that counts as a cake right?? And Rachel kept going TEN MILLION whatever, and I can't differentiate who is Lu and who is Xin from GOONG.
And I opened a new personal bank account today! Went to some bank near J8 with Shi Hui today. So now I've got a new POSB card. I think it's a little consolation to get a new card after my 3 lost cards. I wonder how long before I lose this one too.
Current song now: What The World Will Never Take, Hillsong's. Whoopee dance dance!!
Thursday, 14 December 2006
I've resolved to stop adopting an antagonistic viewpoint. I shall not be bothered about incompetent people who are incapable of producing what is required of them. I shall not be troubled with things standing on its head, looking as if it's reading to collapse any moment. I shall just try to do my utmost best in helping to smooth out everything, to try and resurrect unfulfilled promises, to try and be cooperative and pray really hard for anything else. After all, our efforts may be feeble, but it is the Spirit that gives our efforts the success. Give my best and the Spirit will bless. It's easier to do things this way. I can never understand the things that I'm doing right now, but it'll probably be significant in some ways or another. Eternity. That's what all of us are working for.
Here's a random fact: I've never had a nose bleed before in my entire life! Never broken my nose before, never had a nose bleed from wheezing too hard, never had a nose bleed from looking at any pretty girls (especially Qiling). Let's hope my nose will remain in tip-top condition for the next 228 years.
Here's a random fact: I've never had a nose bleed before in my entire life! Never broken my nose before, never had a nose bleed from wheezing too hard, never had a nose bleed from looking at any pretty girls (especially Qiling). Let's hope my nose will remain in tip-top condition for the next 228 years.
Wednesday, 13 December 2006
Here's an attempt to organise my thoughts. They're zooming everywhere in my head.
I think faith is an inherent aspect in our lives that affects what we think and how we act towards a certain something. If you do not actually believe in something, you will just drift along aimlessly. Whatever efforts that you put in will be half-hearted. So you must have a firm amount of belief before you embark on doing anything. But then again, faith is in itself an element of risk. You can believe with all your might that something will happen, but the outcome might not be congruent to what you have in mind.
I'm seriously tired out. The past 2 years has been a gruelling and hectic one. I mean, I've promised myself to take a long long break before this year ends, but it's like, another two and a half more weeks left?? Ugh. Assumed so many responsibilities, being accountable for all my actions, studying, rushing for deadlines, whatever shitty things thrown at me for the past 2 years. Fulfilling yes, but extremely draining.
I keep having the feeling that there's somebody or something that's out to get me. Destroying my life. I need to stop looking over my shoulder warily.
I'm at the point of my life where I'm neither here nor there. I'm too young for the future, but I'm too old for the past too. I need to learn from whatever my 18 years of life has taught me, and I need to quietly plan for the rest of my life (that's another 75 years).
Years 2005 and 2006 has been a rollercoaster. It's been phenomenal at times, and yet it's downright despairing at others. I need to trust God more. There have been times when I'm just doing things on my own strength without seeking for His help. Or I refuse to follow when God's probably telling me that I should. Or I lose my focus so much that I don't even know how to start or end. Actually the solution's simple, just put my faith in Him above. Forget about risks or undesired outcomes. Just trust.
But right now I'm in a state of atrophy. Stagnation, burn-out, whatever you call it. The nagging thoughts in my brain remind me of all the things that are not done, not prepared, not planned for. I know I shouldn't be skeptical. I know I should trust in God and do whatever it takes to achieve what was set out in mind. But I just can't muster up enough faith to drive my enthusiasm. Worse, I'm taking a perverse delight in criticizing every single thing and complaining and pushing the blame to others. I could have tried to encourage people on or be more cooperative, but I chose to bitch and rebel. Sigh.
Well, all's not lost yet. There's still a glimmer of hope somewhere in me. Maybe I can hold on to that hope, last through for the rest of this year, then call it quits after that. I'm just praying for that little bit of revival to see me through my horrible agony.
Alright. I'm satisfied for now. I think I'll spend my free time reflecting about this year at St John's Island.
Okay, today's another one of those days when I'm just inclined to grumble and waste my life away. Actually that's been quite frequent, especially after A's ended. But meeting Tammy to finalise our mass dance, and there's camp meeting after that. The mass dance is almost done!! Hooray! We've choreographed everything except for the irritating first 8 counts, so now we just need to practise. Camp meeting has sort of consolidated everything that needs to be done too. It's a good thing there are people around me that's more pro-active and focused than I am, cos I'm seriously fractious and obstinate today.
Called Immigration today. Called Transitlink too. Both of them said my lost IC and EZ-Link cards haven't been returned yet. Oh gosh. Now I'm starting to worry a bit.
Anyway, Kai Jie has sent me all the photos that I took during birthday celebrations with my classmates after A's. I uploaded them onto his computer the last time I was at his house. Haha. They're all in here, apologies for the long delay, and whoever's been bugging me for them can obtain them now.
Leading worship for Friday. It's going to be quite interesting, looking at the way my life is twisting up unexpected things right now.
I think faith is an inherent aspect in our lives that affects what we think and how we act towards a certain something. If you do not actually believe in something, you will just drift along aimlessly. Whatever efforts that you put in will be half-hearted. So you must have a firm amount of belief before you embark on doing anything. But then again, faith is in itself an element of risk. You can believe with all your might that something will happen, but the outcome might not be congruent to what you have in mind.
I'm seriously tired out. The past 2 years has been a gruelling and hectic one. I mean, I've promised myself to take a long long break before this year ends, but it's like, another two and a half more weeks left?? Ugh. Assumed so many responsibilities, being accountable for all my actions, studying, rushing for deadlines, whatever shitty things thrown at me for the past 2 years. Fulfilling yes, but extremely draining.
I keep having the feeling that there's somebody or something that's out to get me. Destroying my life. I need to stop looking over my shoulder warily.
I'm at the point of my life where I'm neither here nor there. I'm too young for the future, but I'm too old for the past too. I need to learn from whatever my 18 years of life has taught me, and I need to quietly plan for the rest of my life (that's another 75 years).
Years 2005 and 2006 has been a rollercoaster. It's been phenomenal at times, and yet it's downright despairing at others. I need to trust God more. There have been times when I'm just doing things on my own strength without seeking for His help. Or I refuse to follow when God's probably telling me that I should. Or I lose my focus so much that I don't even know how to start or end. Actually the solution's simple, just put my faith in Him above. Forget about risks or undesired outcomes. Just trust.
But right now I'm in a state of atrophy. Stagnation, burn-out, whatever you call it. The nagging thoughts in my brain remind me of all the things that are not done, not prepared, not planned for. I know I shouldn't be skeptical. I know I should trust in God and do whatever it takes to achieve what was set out in mind. But I just can't muster up enough faith to drive my enthusiasm. Worse, I'm taking a perverse delight in criticizing every single thing and complaining and pushing the blame to others. I could have tried to encourage people on or be more cooperative, but I chose to bitch and rebel. Sigh.
Well, all's not lost yet. There's still a glimmer of hope somewhere in me. Maybe I can hold on to that hope, last through for the rest of this year, then call it quits after that. I'm just praying for that little bit of revival to see me through my horrible agony.
Alright. I'm satisfied for now. I think I'll spend my free time reflecting about this year at St John's Island.
Okay, today's another one of those days when I'm just inclined to grumble and waste my life away. Actually that's been quite frequent, especially after A's ended. But meeting Tammy to finalise our mass dance, and there's camp meeting after that. The mass dance is almost done!! Hooray! We've choreographed everything except for the irritating first 8 counts, so now we just need to practise. Camp meeting has sort of consolidated everything that needs to be done too. It's a good thing there are people around me that's more pro-active and focused than I am, cos I'm seriously fractious and obstinate today.
Called Immigration today. Called Transitlink too. Both of them said my lost IC and EZ-Link cards haven't been returned yet. Oh gosh. Now I'm starting to worry a bit.
Anyway, Kai Jie has sent me all the photos that I took during birthday celebrations with my classmates after A's. I uploaded them onto his computer the last time I was at his house. Haha. They're all in here, apologies for the long delay, and whoever's been bugging me for them can obtain them now.
Leading worship for Friday. It's going to be quite interesting, looking at the way my life is twisting up unexpected things right now.
Tuesday, 12 December 2006
I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD! AARRRRGGGHHHH!!! I can't believe this! This is so dumb okay!! It's the third time I've lost my EZ-Link card!! And I stupidly lost my IC too! And my NJ tap-tap card! I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD!!! I'm so sad now! I think I'm very sad now I want to die. I've got nothing that can prove my identity now! Well err except my passport! But who in the world carries their passport wherever they go to prove that they are Low Guan You??? Oh my goodness this is a TRAGEDY!! Even my NJ tap-tap card has my name and NRIC number on it! And today I just lost all 3 cards of mine that has my identity on them! I'm identity-less! Qiling says I might as well be an illegal immigrant. NOOOO I don't want to be an illegal immigrant! WEH what if the police catches me and demand for something to prove my identity? All I can offer them is my passport! Or my birth certificate!! OH MY GOODNESS I think they'll probably think I crawled out from a rock! I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD! I don't want to pay $100 to replace my IC! And I don't want to take passport-size photos of myself again! The last time I lost my EZ-Link card I had to take a photo, and the auntie made me re-take my moronic picture 4 times cos I looked sleepy each time! I don't want!! And I want my NJ tap-tap card back! I like tapping my card each time I go school, cos it's like, the thing to look forward to in school! I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD! What if some crook use my EZ-Link card to borrow tonnes of library books and I have to pay all the fines? What if some bankrupt ah beng use my IC to go borrow my money?? What if someone break into NJ and destroy my butterfly garden using my tap-tap card?? Oh no!! I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD! I LOST MY EZ-LINK CARD AND MY IDENTIFICATION CARD AND MY NJ TAP-TAP CARD!!!!
Sigh. I very sad now. I lost those cards on the MRT. I put all three cards into this blue Precious Thoughts card-holder which Mummy gave me. And the stupid silly thing was that Dave and Clarissa both saw it fall from my bag when we were alighting at Bishan MRT! But they both thought it belonged to one of those kids on the train so they left it alone. Then I didn't know too until I wanted to exit at the gantry and I couldn't find it! So I think I spent 5 minutes searching my bag and pockets frantically for the card-holder and all its cards inside at the Transitlink office? In the end the uncle just nicely let me out, after informing me that I should make a loss report and whatever else.
I'm going down to the police station to make a loss report tomorrow. And Tammy told me to keep bugging the Transitlink people to see if they've received anything. But okay la at least losing my EZ-Link card with about 2 weeks before it expires isn't that bad. And NJ tap-tap card isn't that important anyway. As for my IC, I'll just pray really hard that some kind soul returns it or something. Anyway I called the hotline that they gave me and terminated my EZ-Link concession already. And I'll call the library tomorrow to inform them of the loss.
Aargh. Today wasn't supposed to be that bad okay! Went down to St John's Island with Dave, Yurong, Matthew, Alicia and Clarissa for drama camp recce. Eh the last time I was there was 4 years ago for some church or Jericho camp too. Matt was like, "the place changed a lot you know??" but I think it was still largely the same as what I remembered of that island 4 years ago. Haha. Marina South Pier is too weird for my liking (I like the Changi Point one better), and the stupid ferry ride was hot and stuffy and slow like a turtle, although it costed $11 there and back.
Okay la we went into the campsite to look at possible games locations, etc etc. There was another church camping there, and we walked past their worship session? Then followed some path that we thought it ideal for night walk, then bummed the rest of the afternoon waiting for the afternoon ferry. Then after my disastrous loss of all the cards, bought a very late lunch for me and Tammy, met her at corps to choreograph the rest of our mass dance. All we did was just revised the choruses (which we did like, 3 weeks ago??) but it's nicer now okay!
I'm tired. And a bit sunburnt. I'm still very sad about my horribly-careless loss. But I'm too tired to be properly sad now. At 1am last night I was still stuck at Eleanor's house?? Sleepy... Okay I shall try and go sleep.
Sigh. I very sad now. I lost those cards on the MRT. I put all three cards into this blue Precious Thoughts card-holder which Mummy gave me. And the stupid silly thing was that Dave and Clarissa both saw it fall from my bag when we were alighting at Bishan MRT! But they both thought it belonged to one of those kids on the train so they left it alone. Then I didn't know too until I wanted to exit at the gantry and I couldn't find it! So I think I spent 5 minutes searching my bag and pockets frantically for the card-holder and all its cards inside at the Transitlink office? In the end the uncle just nicely let me out, after informing me that I should make a loss report and whatever else.
I'm going down to the police station to make a loss report tomorrow. And Tammy told me to keep bugging the Transitlink people to see if they've received anything. But okay la at least losing my EZ-Link card with about 2 weeks before it expires isn't that bad. And NJ tap-tap card isn't that important anyway. As for my IC, I'll just pray really hard that some kind soul returns it or something. Anyway I called the hotline that they gave me and terminated my EZ-Link concession already. And I'll call the library tomorrow to inform them of the loss.
Aargh. Today wasn't supposed to be that bad okay! Went down to St John's Island with Dave, Yurong, Matthew, Alicia and Clarissa for drama camp recce. Eh the last time I was there was 4 years ago for some church or Jericho camp too. Matt was like, "the place changed a lot you know??" but I think it was still largely the same as what I remembered of that island 4 years ago. Haha. Marina South Pier is too weird for my liking (I like the Changi Point one better), and the stupid ferry ride was hot and stuffy and slow like a turtle, although it costed $11 there and back.
Okay la we went into the campsite to look at possible games locations, etc etc. There was another church camping there, and we walked past their worship session? Then followed some path that we thought it ideal for night walk, then bummed the rest of the afternoon waiting for the afternoon ferry. Then after my disastrous loss of all the cards, bought a very late lunch for me and Tammy, met her at corps to choreograph the rest of our mass dance. All we did was just revised the choruses (which we did like, 3 weeks ago??) but it's nicer now okay!
I'm tired. And a bit sunburnt. I'm still very sad about my horribly-careless loss. But I'm too tired to be properly sad now. At 1am last night I was still stuck at Eleanor's house?? Sleepy... Okay I shall try and go sleep.
At Eleanor's house now. I think I missed my last bus home. That probably means I've gotta take a taxi home. Which is bad, cos I'm going down with Adriel and Matt and Yurong and Clarissa to St John's island tomorrow and we might be cabbing to the pier. I'm still quite destitute and I still owe Kai Jie money.
I need to bathe. Should I bathe here or should I wait till I'm home first?
I need to bathe. Should I bathe here or should I wait till I'm home first?
Monday, 11 December 2006
I think everything's so screwed up. People that are supposed to do certain things don't do them, and everybody wants things done their way. So much for all those empty promises that we're going to plan everything nice and early. Crap. And when things fall into shambles, we don't have a single person to take charge cos everyone's divided on different opinions.
Aargh. I've had enough of all these bitchy meetings for the past 2 years already. When things like that happen, all I want to do is to get over everything and be done with it. People should just be contented with the generalities; the specific details will settle itself. I don't see the point in wanting to be in control of everything, and I certainly hate it when everything has to be meticulously planned. Blah.
Then again, I realised that in doing so, I'll be guilty of wanting things done my way too. So that makes me no more bitchy than the rest of the others.
Okay. My weekends had been a tiring one. Dance practice with Della! It was quite okay la, except that most of us are not really dancers (including me) and although we could catch all the steps, it looks quite stiff. Haha. Then wrecking my vocals trying to reach all those high notes in carolling practices. And drama meetings and camp meetings.
Yup. I'm leading worship this Friday. Did QT and planned my songs this morning. Then Chiew Yee's going to say "why you like everytime singing for worship one??".
Aargh. I've had enough of all these bitchy meetings for the past 2 years already. When things like that happen, all I want to do is to get over everything and be done with it. People should just be contented with the generalities; the specific details will settle itself. I don't see the point in wanting to be in control of everything, and I certainly hate it when everything has to be meticulously planned. Blah.
Then again, I realised that in doing so, I'll be guilty of wanting things done my way too. So that makes me no more bitchy than the rest of the others.
Okay. My weekends had been a tiring one. Dance practice with Della! It was quite okay la, except that most of us are not really dancers (including me) and although we could catch all the steps, it looks quite stiff. Haha. Then wrecking my vocals trying to reach all those high notes in carolling practices. And drama meetings and camp meetings.
Yup. I'm leading worship this Friday. Did QT and planned my songs this morning. Then Chiew Yee's going to say "why you like everytime singing for worship one??".
Saturday, 9 December 2006
Oh gosh I've got a million things to blog about but I haven't done so!! Sent the computer for servicing cos it refused to be switched on, and apparently Compaq delayed us for like almost one week?? But it's okay la haha. So, apologies to all you waiting for photos or those who wish to spy on my life or those who's secretly in love with me. I'm going to try to make this post as long as possible!!
Okay let's start off where I ended off the last time, which means I should start blogging about last Saturday. Ohh okie! Last Saturday I went around MY Bishan neighbourhood to collect old newspapers and other recyclables!! Sounds very Green Link-ish right? Haha Liyana "tricked" me and Annie into volunteering with the NJ Canoeing team to go collecting. Met at Bishan MRT at 8am in the morning, and when I arrived there I was quite stunned at the amount of people. Huge! I think there were about 150~200 people altogether? I think three-quarters of the people there WEREN'T from canoeing. Why can't they just happily go collect everything themselves??
But anyway, that's not the point. Shi En invited Eugene too (whom I met at famine camp) so me, Annie and him and Liyana buddied around to do all the block of flats assigned to us. Haha it's so reminiscient of famine camp, especially when Annie and Eugene were there too. And we collected newspapers from the flats next to Catholic High (where Rachel Tan's house is), then we went to behind Hawkerway (where Nicholas' house is), then to behind Kopitiam (where Gordon's house is), then crossed the road to near Bishan Park (where Lurong's house is), then we went to the flat OPPOSITE MY HOUSE, which was quite weird. Hahaha anywhere in Bishan is really home to me! But yeah, we had a good time. I've stayed in Bishan most of my life but I still don't know what's the structure of most of the flats in my neighbourhood?? Hee hee. After collecting we went for lunch, then actually wanted to go all the way to Ikea (Alexandra) with Annie, but I changed my mind and went home instead after she made me depressed.
There. Here's our happy group collecting all those newspapers and junk. From Annie.
Then in the evening, I went down to Raffles City for kettling!! But before that I met Khairi to go search for his long pants that he wanted to wear for prom the next night. And I was quite late in meeting him cos I took a bus down and there was a huge traffic jam? You know what? Khairi audaciously sent me a "you made me wait for you" message! Humph. That's like, after 2 years of him being late for numerous, separate occasions that we arranged to meet up! So for once he was punctual and I wasn't, and he gleefully decides to get me back. Okie we roamed Raffles City quite aimlessly cos he couldn't find anything nice there.
Then I went to the kettling stand just above City Hall MRT at 7pm, and took over from Sarah and her dad. Haha Sarah looked sooo grumpy ringing the bell? But I was excited okay! I happily put on the red apron which declares that "I'm a bell-ringer", then I rang the silly bell for 2 hours straight. Everything was red! The bell, the apron, the kettle, the stand, MY SHOES. Haha! It was quite fun, especially all those little kids who looked so satisfied with themselves when they put in their coins into the kettle. Or they'll be pointing at me when the walk past and badger their parents to donate. There was this little boy who came up to me, put in a note into the kettle and asked me "can I ring please?", so I handed him the bell and he shaked rigorously for 2 seconds before giving it back to me and ran off to his parents! So cute! And there were a lot of generous people too. I saw people gave $50 notes. PEOPLE, not PERSON. And some asked me for directions too, like how to go to Esplanade?? I realised it's quite dumb standing there smiling at every single person who walks by. I feel like that guy (whom Biru thinks is quite cute, but I think he's ugly) selling bubble tea at Prime!! I wasn't supposed to be doing alone too, cos I saw Major Andrew's name on the roster, but he never turned up!! In the end Cecilia and her absolutely-gorgeous daughter came to relief my ringing duties. Then I was walking around in Raffles City for a while cos I didn't want to go home that early, and there were one or two teenage boppy-hoppy girls who smiled at me cos they donated at the kettle earlier. Hahaha!!
Okay I'm done for Saturday. Now here's Sunday! Let's see. In the morning I was at service, then I went for lunch with the gang at Bishan Interchange, then back to corps for a while before rushing home to prepare for graduation night dinner which was that night. Prom prom prom!! Me, Khairi and Kai Jie actually arranged to meet at Kai Jie's house at 3pm, but I only reached at 4.30pm?? So for the second consecutive day I made Khairi wait. I got a shock when I stepped into Kai Jie's house, cos he told me he has hamsters but he has never told me how many. So the first thing I saw at his house was rows and rows of hamster cages, then I looked up, saw his sister sitting on the sofa and just next to the sofa, another row of hamster cages. Whoo!
While Khairi and Kai Jie went to change, I painted my nails!! Oh oh I didn't mention that I took a bus down to Kai Jie's in my nice nice shirt and pants and shoes! So I didn't have to bring a change of clothes. And on the bus a cute girl sat beside me cos she thought I looked good!! YAY!! Anyway yar, I painted my nails maroon, using nail polish I got from my sis. Then I did my hair with Khairi's hair wax with light brown colour! Therefore, my final outfit for prom (from head to toe) was a light-brown crop of hair which only shows up under certain lighting, red poser spectacles, a shirt with white base and brown stripes and red prints here and there, dark olive long pants, green socks and red shoes! And a black/dark blue/grey/whatever colour blazer that I never really wore.
We left Kai Jie's house to go to Plaza Singapura cos Khairi wanted to get his angel wings to go with his shirt, but there weren't any. And can you believe it? The two of them kept teasing me about my reddish theme for the night while on the way to Swissotel!! For the record, my shirt is not completely red!! It's "a shirt with white base and brown stripes and red prints here and there"!! Haha okay my red specs was quite dumb, cos apparently the whole world is switching to contact lenses cos they want to look good for prom, but I'm the only one who happily chose to obscure my vision when I'm not even comfortable with them. But heck!!
And the whole night was just pictures after pictures! I think the J1 Student Council people looked the nicest cos they were all in black. But there were a lot of people that looked absolutely stunning!! Okay I don't think there was a single ugly person there cos everyone was dressed very nicely and nobody made any "fashion faux pas", as Kai Jie would put it. The food wasn't too bad, after whatever Yurong warned about some meat dish. Bahh, the food was quite okay. But I think most of us are more interested in snapping photos! I've got hundred plus plus, which is about what Yurong has (cos we were competing) but half of her photos were of HERSELF while mine is mostly with different people! Yay I'm popular!
Anyway, Prom King was Dismas and Prom Queen was Huiling! AAHHH!! Dismas did some weird impromptu dance which I recorded down for Tammy! But I wasn't supporting him to win cos we've got Khairi! My goodness Khairi looked quite good on stage, surprisingly!! Hahaha okay he looks good most of the time. And Shawn Pereira did some pole dance, canoeist Sean stripped to show off his muscles. Oh oh Wei Ting was among the nominees for Prom Queen! Very pretty la!! But I was secretly hoping Huiling would win cos she looked so classy, and she really did! Blah I think the whole night I was doing very stupid things. I got photos with my eyecandy again! Then me and Atiqah took with Ms Sharon Phua?? And I took photos with Ms Teo and Mr Whitby! And loads of people.
After everything, me, Annie, Cheryl and Siew were supposed to go watch a movie. But me and Annie sort of got straggled behind, so together with Qiling, Chiew Yee, Kai Jie and Jin Jen we went down to some bar at CHIJMES to slack. They drank, I didn't. Then I took a taxi together with Kai Jie back to Tiong Bahru area cos he offered to lend me money for my cab ride home. So I had about $20 with me, it was like 2am in the middle of the night and I'm stuck in Tiong Bahru?? Guess what I did? I chose to walk home! I was a bit afraid I won't have enough money to pay for the cab ride, especially when there's the 50% surcharge. And I wanted to walk a bit. So I set off trying to follow the 851 bus route home?? Chatting with Yurong along the way, and she was my "online" directory as I was trying to navigate along Cantonment Road and whatever road I was on. Initially I was on the right track, then I got lost and was heading towards some ulu expressway!! So I gave up, took a taxi and paid like $15 only. Blah my fears were quite unfounded. So by the time I reached home, it was 3am plus plus?
Well okay here are some of my favourite photos.
My RAINBOW! She had a walkie-talkie that night! How cool is that??
My "girlfriend" Atiqah!!
Some of us hot Arts Fac guys.
My PW group.
Free-time buddy!
My favourite clique in NJ!! Forget about JJQCA or SAGC. I love these girls!
Most of my class.
At CHIJMES.
I simply HAVE to include this photo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me and Charlene! Pretty right??
And my favourite photo all night! Jo Lynn and me!!
There's more photos here.
Okay I'm quite tired now. Hahaha I've blogged so much for Saturday and Sunday already! Okay let's see, Monday I was stoning at home, and so was Tuesday! No no Tuesday evening I was with my cell group kettling! Haha me, Rachel Kwan and Ming Hui signed ourselves up for kettling, but we didn't know that the Salvation Army band had actually taken that slot cos they were playing that night too! So when we were there, it was Major Andrew ringing and the band playing. Rachel and Ming Hui took turns to wear the apron and ring the bell, then after that together with Jolene we went walk-walk at Raffles City. We wanted to crash RJC's prom cos theirs happened to be on at Swissotel that night. We went to posh toilets! Then roamed around until it was time to go home. Hahaha.
Okay photos again.
Rachel in the red apron! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Shermin interrupting our cell group photo!
She very pretty can!! I want her for Christmas!
More photos here, though it's not much.
Hmm alright it's Wednesday now! I met Alicia, Matthew and Yurong early in the morning to go down to some Evangel church in Yishun! Casting Crowns was having a conference on youth leadership there. Well I did take something out of it, cos I think the speakers were quite inspiring! One thing that I learnt was that "church is not FOR you, it's BY you". You have to make the most and make the best of whatever you can do for the church, and not what the church can do for you. The food they provided was good hahahaha! Then we went back to corps to discuss and collate all our information cos we all went for different "leader labs". What a dumb name. But yar, it's fruitful all the same!
Yesterday I was cleaning up my room! I'm so proud of myself okay!! I cleared the huge pile of worksheets that I've managed to avoid clearing so far. I filed up everything nicely, threw away all the junk paper and I've decided to give away some of my excess GP notes. Whoever wants them can ask me.
I took out all the letters, cards, notes, whatever scraps of paper that people have written me in the past 5 or 6 years too. And I read them all one by one. For those of you who didn't know, I'm quite a sentimental person, like how I tend to keep all these letters in my drawer cos I think there're too precious to throw away. But the weird thing is I don't really bother to re-read them. I haven't got the time! But now that A's are over and that drawer is bursting from notes, I decided to arrange them nicely and re-read them at the same time.
Hmm. Of course you know what I'll say. It's kinda emo and nostalgic. There's loads of memories in all those letters. Encouragement, love, anguish, hatred, thanks, or simply nonsensical letters. I realised that Ben Wong is the only person who's given me a Christmas card year after year without fail since 2001. I never kept track until now! I realised that I have a lot (I mean, really really really a lot) of love letters. But that doesn't matter one bit, cos I'm still single and "officially" unattached all my life. I realised Atiqah wrote me the most postcards in my 2 years of JC life. I realised how crappy I must have been to my senior class angel (Quek Qing) and mortal (Wanhang), cos re-reading those letters from them made me realise how juvenile I must have been. Then I read those letters from my junior angel (Huai Ying) and mortal (Lynn) and realised I haven't changed one bit. I'm still so childish. Huai Ying wrote me the most and longest letters ever! I realised it's only during farewell or separation times that you receive the most meaningful and heart-warming letters, like first-3-months, orientation, graduation of sec 4 or with A01, or when your friend is going overseas, etc etc.
Most of all, I realised I do have close friends whom I can rely upon, and I used to have closer friends whom I can absolutely trust my life with. Some have drifted away, some I have stupidly broke almost all chances of any reconciliation, but most are still within my reach.
I should learn to cherish my friends more. Thanks to you too, if you're one of the few who have written me a letter or a card before.
And today! Alicia leading worship, and she happily called all of us (was back-up singing with Tammy) in at 4pm to start practice?? But it wasn't much difference la cos we were still short of time in the end. Cell group time. And Sarah gave me a huge fright. Shermin and I have some "toilet secrets".
Okie okie I think this post is excessively long. I'm quite tired already! That's all for now.
Okay let's start off where I ended off the last time, which means I should start blogging about last Saturday. Ohh okie! Last Saturday I went around MY Bishan neighbourhood to collect old newspapers and other recyclables!! Sounds very Green Link-ish right? Haha Liyana "tricked" me and Annie into volunteering with the NJ Canoeing team to go collecting. Met at Bishan MRT at 8am in the morning, and when I arrived there I was quite stunned at the amount of people. Huge! I think there were about 150~200 people altogether? I think three-quarters of the people there WEREN'T from canoeing. Why can't they just happily go collect everything themselves??
But anyway, that's not the point. Shi En invited Eugene too (whom I met at famine camp) so me, Annie and him and Liyana buddied around to do all the block of flats assigned to us. Haha it's so reminiscient of famine camp, especially when Annie and Eugene were there too. And we collected newspapers from the flats next to Catholic High (where Rachel Tan's house is), then we went to behind Hawkerway (where Nicholas' house is), then to behind Kopitiam (where Gordon's house is), then crossed the road to near Bishan Park (where Lurong's house is), then we went to the flat OPPOSITE MY HOUSE, which was quite weird. Hahaha anywhere in Bishan is really home to me! But yeah, we had a good time. I've stayed in Bishan most of my life but I still don't know what's the structure of most of the flats in my neighbourhood?? Hee hee. After collecting we went for lunch, then actually wanted to go all the way to Ikea (Alexandra) with Annie, but I changed my mind and went home instead after she made me depressed.
There. Here's our happy group collecting all those newspapers and junk. From Annie.
Then in the evening, I went down to Raffles City for kettling!! But before that I met Khairi to go search for his long pants that he wanted to wear for prom the next night. And I was quite late in meeting him cos I took a bus down and there was a huge traffic jam? You know what? Khairi audaciously sent me a "you made me wait for you" message! Humph. That's like, after 2 years of him being late for numerous, separate occasions that we arranged to meet up! So for once he was punctual and I wasn't, and he gleefully decides to get me back. Okie we roamed Raffles City quite aimlessly cos he couldn't find anything nice there.
Then I went to the kettling stand just above City Hall MRT at 7pm, and took over from Sarah and her dad. Haha Sarah looked sooo grumpy ringing the bell? But I was excited okay! I happily put on the red apron which declares that "I'm a bell-ringer", then I rang the silly bell for 2 hours straight. Everything was red! The bell, the apron, the kettle, the stand, MY SHOES. Haha! It was quite fun, especially all those little kids who looked so satisfied with themselves when they put in their coins into the kettle. Or they'll be pointing at me when the walk past and badger their parents to donate. There was this little boy who came up to me, put in a note into the kettle and asked me "can I ring please?", so I handed him the bell and he shaked rigorously for 2 seconds before giving it back to me and ran off to his parents! So cute! And there were a lot of generous people too. I saw people gave $50 notes. PEOPLE, not PERSON. And some asked me for directions too, like how to go to Esplanade?? I realised it's quite dumb standing there smiling at every single person who walks by. I feel like that guy (whom Biru thinks is quite cute, but I think he's ugly) selling bubble tea at Prime!! I wasn't supposed to be doing alone too, cos I saw Major Andrew's name on the roster, but he never turned up!! In the end Cecilia and her absolutely-gorgeous daughter came to relief my ringing duties. Then I was walking around in Raffles City for a while cos I didn't want to go home that early, and there were one or two teenage boppy-hoppy girls who smiled at me cos they donated at the kettle earlier. Hahaha!!
Okay I'm done for Saturday. Now here's Sunday! Let's see. In the morning I was at service, then I went for lunch with the gang at Bishan Interchange, then back to corps for a while before rushing home to prepare for graduation night dinner which was that night. Prom prom prom!! Me, Khairi and Kai Jie actually arranged to meet at Kai Jie's house at 3pm, but I only reached at 4.30pm?? So for the second consecutive day I made Khairi wait. I got a shock when I stepped into Kai Jie's house, cos he told me he has hamsters but he has never told me how many. So the first thing I saw at his house was rows and rows of hamster cages, then I looked up, saw his sister sitting on the sofa and just next to the sofa, another row of hamster cages. Whoo!
While Khairi and Kai Jie went to change, I painted my nails!! Oh oh I didn't mention that I took a bus down to Kai Jie's in my nice nice shirt and pants and shoes! So I didn't have to bring a change of clothes. And on the bus a cute girl sat beside me cos she thought I looked good!! YAY!! Anyway yar, I painted my nails maroon, using nail polish I got from my sis. Then I did my hair with Khairi's hair wax with light brown colour! Therefore, my final outfit for prom (from head to toe) was a light-brown crop of hair which only shows up under certain lighting, red poser spectacles, a shirt with white base and brown stripes and red prints here and there, dark olive long pants, green socks and red shoes! And a black/dark blue/grey/whatever colour blazer that I never really wore.
We left Kai Jie's house to go to Plaza Singapura cos Khairi wanted to get his angel wings to go with his shirt, but there weren't any. And can you believe it? The two of them kept teasing me about my reddish theme for the night while on the way to Swissotel!! For the record, my shirt is not completely red!! It's "a shirt with white base and brown stripes and red prints here and there"!! Haha okay my red specs was quite dumb, cos apparently the whole world is switching to contact lenses cos they want to look good for prom, but I'm the only one who happily chose to obscure my vision when I'm not even comfortable with them. But heck!!
And the whole night was just pictures after pictures! I think the J1 Student Council people looked the nicest cos they were all in black. But there were a lot of people that looked absolutely stunning!! Okay I don't think there was a single ugly person there cos everyone was dressed very nicely and nobody made any "fashion faux pas", as Kai Jie would put it. The food wasn't too bad, after whatever Yurong warned about some meat dish. Bahh, the food was quite okay. But I think most of us are more interested in snapping photos! I've got hundred plus plus, which is about what Yurong has (cos we were competing) but half of her photos were of HERSELF while mine is mostly with different people! Yay I'm popular!
Anyway, Prom King was Dismas and Prom Queen was Huiling! AAHHH!! Dismas did some weird impromptu dance which I recorded down for Tammy! But I wasn't supporting him to win cos we've got Khairi! My goodness Khairi looked quite good on stage, surprisingly!! Hahaha okay he looks good most of the time. And Shawn Pereira did some pole dance, canoeist Sean stripped to show off his muscles. Oh oh Wei Ting was among the nominees for Prom Queen! Very pretty la!! But I was secretly hoping Huiling would win cos she looked so classy, and she really did! Blah I think the whole night I was doing very stupid things. I got photos with my eyecandy again! Then me and Atiqah took with Ms Sharon Phua?? And I took photos with Ms Teo and Mr Whitby! And loads of people.
After everything, me, Annie, Cheryl and Siew were supposed to go watch a movie. But me and Annie sort of got straggled behind, so together with Qiling, Chiew Yee, Kai Jie and Jin Jen we went down to some bar at CHIJMES to slack. They drank, I didn't. Then I took a taxi together with Kai Jie back to Tiong Bahru area cos he offered to lend me money for my cab ride home. So I had about $20 with me, it was like 2am in the middle of the night and I'm stuck in Tiong Bahru?? Guess what I did? I chose to walk home! I was a bit afraid I won't have enough money to pay for the cab ride, especially when there's the 50% surcharge. And I wanted to walk a bit. So I set off trying to follow the 851 bus route home?? Chatting with Yurong along the way, and she was my "online" directory as I was trying to navigate along Cantonment Road and whatever road I was on. Initially I was on the right track, then I got lost and was heading towards some ulu expressway!! So I gave up, took a taxi and paid like $15 only. Blah my fears were quite unfounded. So by the time I reached home, it was 3am plus plus?
Well okay here are some of my favourite photos.
My RAINBOW! She had a walkie-talkie that night! How cool is that??
My "girlfriend" Atiqah!!
Some of us hot Arts Fac guys.
My PW group.
Free-time buddy!
My favourite clique in NJ!! Forget about JJQCA or SAGC. I love these girls!
Most of my class.
At CHIJMES.
I simply HAVE to include this photo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me and Charlene! Pretty right??
And my favourite photo all night! Jo Lynn and me!!
There's more photos here.
Okay I'm quite tired now. Hahaha I've blogged so much for Saturday and Sunday already! Okay let's see, Monday I was stoning at home, and so was Tuesday! No no Tuesday evening I was with my cell group kettling! Haha me, Rachel Kwan and Ming Hui signed ourselves up for kettling, but we didn't know that the Salvation Army band had actually taken that slot cos they were playing that night too! So when we were there, it was Major Andrew ringing and the band playing. Rachel and Ming Hui took turns to wear the apron and ring the bell, then after that together with Jolene we went walk-walk at Raffles City. We wanted to crash RJC's prom cos theirs happened to be on at Swissotel that night. We went to posh toilets! Then roamed around until it was time to go home. Hahaha.
Okay photos again.
Rachel in the red apron! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Shermin interrupting our cell group photo!
She very pretty can!! I want her for Christmas!
More photos here, though it's not much.
Hmm alright it's Wednesday now! I met Alicia, Matthew and Yurong early in the morning to go down to some Evangel church in Yishun! Casting Crowns was having a conference on youth leadership there. Well I did take something out of it, cos I think the speakers were quite inspiring! One thing that I learnt was that "church is not FOR you, it's BY you". You have to make the most and make the best of whatever you can do for the church, and not what the church can do for you. The food they provided was good hahahaha! Then we went back to corps to discuss and collate all our information cos we all went for different "leader labs". What a dumb name. But yar, it's fruitful all the same!
Yesterday I was cleaning up my room! I'm so proud of myself okay!! I cleared the huge pile of worksheets that I've managed to avoid clearing so far. I filed up everything nicely, threw away all the junk paper and I've decided to give away some of my excess GP notes. Whoever wants them can ask me.
I took out all the letters, cards, notes, whatever scraps of paper that people have written me in the past 5 or 6 years too. And I read them all one by one. For those of you who didn't know, I'm quite a sentimental person, like how I tend to keep all these letters in my drawer cos I think there're too precious to throw away. But the weird thing is I don't really bother to re-read them. I haven't got the time! But now that A's are over and that drawer is bursting from notes, I decided to arrange them nicely and re-read them at the same time.
Hmm. Of course you know what I'll say. It's kinda emo and nostalgic. There's loads of memories in all those letters. Encouragement, love, anguish, hatred, thanks, or simply nonsensical letters. I realised that Ben Wong is the only person who's given me a Christmas card year after year without fail since 2001. I never kept track until now! I realised that I have a lot (I mean, really really really a lot) of love letters. But that doesn't matter one bit, cos I'm still single and "officially" unattached all my life. I realised Atiqah wrote me the most postcards in my 2 years of JC life. I realised how crappy I must have been to my senior class angel (Quek Qing) and mortal (Wanhang), cos re-reading those letters from them made me realise how juvenile I must have been. Then I read those letters from my junior angel (Huai Ying) and mortal (Lynn) and realised I haven't changed one bit. I'm still so childish. Huai Ying wrote me the most and longest letters ever! I realised it's only during farewell or separation times that you receive the most meaningful and heart-warming letters, like first-3-months, orientation, graduation of sec 4 or with A01, or when your friend is going overseas, etc etc.
Most of all, I realised I do have close friends whom I can rely upon, and I used to have closer friends whom I can absolutely trust my life with. Some have drifted away, some I have stupidly broke almost all chances of any reconciliation, but most are still within my reach.
I should learn to cherish my friends more. Thanks to you too, if you're one of the few who have written me a letter or a card before.
And today! Alicia leading worship, and she happily called all of us (was back-up singing with Tammy) in at 4pm to start practice?? But it wasn't much difference la cos we were still short of time in the end. Cell group time. And Sarah gave me a huge fright. Shermin and I have some "toilet secrets".
Okie okie I think this post is excessively long. I'm quite tired already! That's all for now.
Friday, 1 December 2006
Oh gosh!!!! Faith!! Here's more reason to hate you!!! I left Chiew Yee and Qiling at Cine yesterday cos I went to meet you! Then after I left they met JONATHAN LEONG there! And they called Jaslyn there to meet him too! AND THEY TOOK PHOTOS WITH HIM!! WITH JONATHAN LEONG!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Stupid me. Why did I leave my wonderful classmates to meet a certain SOMEONE who happily STOLE MY PHONE FOR ONE WHOLE NIGHT???
Weh. I want photos with Jon Leong too!! Chiew Yee or Jas or Qiling can you try and photoshop me in??
Stupid me. Why did I leave my wonderful classmates to meet a certain SOMEONE who happily STOLE MY PHONE FOR ONE WHOLE NIGHT???
Weh. I want photos with Jon Leong too!! Chiew Yee or Jas or Qiling can you try and photoshop me in??
YAY I've finally gotten all my clothes and shoes and whatever rubbish for prom!! And I kept within my budget! YAY YAY YAY!! Hahaha I thought it was going to take me forever, especially since I've been window-shopping almost everyday since A's ended. But I've sort of made up my mind about what I wanted to go in (brinjal, Superman, Buttercup, whatever...), then I went down to town with ______ to get everything! I can't put her name down here cos she doesn't want to be recognised. But yar. Ask me if you want. Haha!
I wanna complain a bit. That tomato-Godzilla-hippopotamus Faith took my phone home with her last night!! Okay actually it was partly my fault too, cos I asked her to help me take care of my phone until I'm about to go home, but she happily forgot all about it and went home with my phone in her bag!! And I didn't realise too until I was almost home!! So I was frantically searching for it in my bag, then I decided to call my mum using some cheapo pay-phone at the market to ask her to cancel the subscription thingy cos I thought it was stolen!! But mummy said Faith called my home immediately when she realised she kept my phone, cos she was afraid I would cancel the subscription thingy in vain.
Then it just so happened that a lot of people was messaging me last night!!! Each time I received a message on my phone, Faith would call my home and inform me of the message, then she'll help me reply! My goodness!! And she messaged in third-person narration somemore!! So the whole night my friends whom she replied received something like "guanyou says don't be late" or "guanyou says you look good in anything" or "guanyou says just settle it yourself". AARGH!!! That's not the worst!! She gleefully sent TEN THOUSAND MESSAGES using my phone to HER OWN PHONE!! She sent things like "guanyou thinks faith is cute" and "guanyou thinks faith is the hottest girl" and "guanyou loves faith a lot a lot" and "guanyou wants to smooch faith on the lips" and "guanyou is secretly in love with faith"!!!!
OH. MY. GOODNESS. I can't believe anyone this narcissistic. She even EXCITEDLY showed me all those rubbishy trashy messages this morning when I dropped by her house this morning to pick up my phone. GARRGH. GAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH. Can you believe that after what she's done to me, I still owe her a treat??? OH GOSH! But I forgive her la. At least she didn't use my number to commit any crimes or anything. And it sounds like what I might have done if I've taken her phone by accident too. HAHA!!
Oh oh. I travelled all the way to Pasir Ris this morning to meet the Green Link people. It was their last day there cos they had a chalet there for the past 2 days? It was kinda dumb for me to go on the last day cos all I got to do was to wake up all the guys and clean up?? But they gave me a cactus and a note as a seniors' farewell gift. Whee!
Okie. How to link "Still" and "Awesome God" together such that it sounds nice?
I wanna complain a bit. That tomato-Godzilla-hippopotamus Faith took my phone home with her last night!! Okay actually it was partly my fault too, cos I asked her to help me take care of my phone until I'm about to go home, but she happily forgot all about it and went home with my phone in her bag!! And I didn't realise too until I was almost home!! So I was frantically searching for it in my bag, then I decided to call my mum using some cheapo pay-phone at the market to ask her to cancel the subscription thingy cos I thought it was stolen!! But mummy said Faith called my home immediately when she realised she kept my phone, cos she was afraid I would cancel the subscription thingy in vain.
Then it just so happened that a lot of people was messaging me last night!!! Each time I received a message on my phone, Faith would call my home and inform me of the message, then she'll help me reply! My goodness!! And she messaged in third-person narration somemore!! So the whole night my friends whom she replied received something like "guanyou says don't be late" or "guanyou says you look good in anything" or "guanyou says just settle it yourself". AARGH!!! That's not the worst!! She gleefully sent TEN THOUSAND MESSAGES using my phone to HER OWN PHONE!! She sent things like "guanyou thinks faith is cute" and "guanyou thinks faith is the hottest girl" and "guanyou loves faith a lot a lot" and "guanyou wants to smooch faith on the lips" and "guanyou is secretly in love with faith"!!!!
OH. MY. GOODNESS. I can't believe anyone this narcissistic. She even EXCITEDLY showed me all those rubbishy trashy messages this morning when I dropped by her house this morning to pick up my phone. GARRGH. GAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH. Can you believe that after what she's done to me, I still owe her a treat??? OH GOSH! But I forgive her la. At least she didn't use my number to commit any crimes or anything. And it sounds like what I might have done if I've taken her phone by accident too. HAHA!!
Oh oh. I travelled all the way to Pasir Ris this morning to meet the Green Link people. It was their last day there cos they had a chalet there for the past 2 days? It was kinda dumb for me to go on the last day cos all I got to do was to wake up all the guys and clean up?? But they gave me a cactus and a note as a seniors' farewell gift. Whee!
Okie. How to link "Still" and "Awesome God" together such that it sounds nice?
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