In a series of meteorite mishaps and asteroid adventures that have happened today, I am so upset and disappointed and sad that these astronomical events didn't quite live up to my expectations! In case you haven't known, there was a meteorite explosion over the skies of Russia this afternoon, and there were reports of hundreds of people injured from the sonic wave that caused windows to shatter. You can Google some of the video captures that charted the meteorite's progress across the bright sky. It is absolutely amazing, it is practically a fireball that descended from outer space. And that's not all! It was calculated that at approximately 3:26am tonight there will be an asteroid named "2012 DA14" flying by at close range to our planet Earth. It won't hit us, and it certainly isn't the biggest asteroid ever, but it is the closest asteroid in I don't know how many years and it is once-in-a-lifetime event and the newspapers and the Internet are all talking about it.

If you know me, I am a strong proponent of witnessing the historical moment, and I like to catch record-breaking events or watch people create history. And the ostensible thing to do for asteroids and meteorites would be to stay up and try and catch a glimpse of it! I'm amazed at astronomy and I quite like stars and comets and planets and moons and the sort, so I wanted to at least stay up and watch the live video streaming that NASA is providing for the asteroid. It didn't help that I watched some of those Russian meteorites videos and they showed a huge fireball across the skies, and I kinda wound up expecting a similar fireball trail across my night sky at 3:26am. It really was splashed on the newspaper headlines and then NASA made such a big hype over it, and my hyper-imaginative mind went aliens invasion and end of the world and Transformers and Armageddon.

Let me tell you that it was just over about half an hour ago, and it was nothing exciting at all. Zilch in the night sky. No fireworks or trail or star or fast-moving bright light. And the video feed is super anti-climatic. It just went "And it's coming in... and it is over the Equator now... and it is at its closest to Earth now, and the people in Northern Hemisphere should see it exiting now". That was that!!! It was over in less than a minute, and I cannot believe I stayed up late for something that was stupendously boring and I couldn't see anything in the night sky! For all the hype, I would have thought that there will be more involved to it, but nope it just came and gone without so much of a whimper.

I am so disappointed now hahaha I think I kinda expected too much. I really wanted to see a fireball, but it wasn't going to happen at all, and my aliens or Transformers didn't exactly materialize either. The so-called historical event is terribly misconstrued too. I feel so cheated for all the excitement generated, only for it to come and go in a little over 45 or 50 seconds and then life goes back to normal, and it didn't even create a bang. Sigh. I feel like a poor little boy who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas hahaha. Okay this is so depressing and disappointing, I am going to bed wishing that I went to bed earlier. 

Led worship and shared the message last night at youth service, and this is something which I constantly tell myself to not get into such situations, but it still happens anyway! I always end up neglecting one for the other, and then end up unprepared for both, and I feel terrible about it. But last night was a good reminder to not trust on my own failings or to lean on my own strength. The topic for last night was on the power of the cross, and why did Jesus have to die on the cross for us.

I'd like to look back and think of how my ministry has evolved over the years? Like how I prepared my messages in the past and how I delivered it is drastically different from the way I do things now. It is all these changes that allow me to grow and lead more effectively, because you sort of gain experience as to what works and what doesn't. And I think my personal relationship with God also improved a lot too, in terms of the way I view my perspective of Him, and how it changes my attitude towards certain aspects of my life. I think preparation for everything is key. It helps that when I prepare for worship I know somewhere in the equation that I have to first worship God; and just the same that if I want to speak to others about Jesus I have to first meet Jesus and talk to him first. You know, such an orientation helps me tremendously now, which previously I didn't really pay much regard to.

But for all of these, boo-boos still happen! Last night I wanted to recite Isaiah 53 in The Message version, and I have this dual-translation Bible which shows the NIV on one column of the page and The Message on the other column. Then Rachel was laying down some really really heavenly synths on the keyboard, and I started the recitation of Isaiah 53 in The Message... but somehow when I flipped the page I read the second half in NIV instead, and didn't realize it until the end! Oh well. Mistakes happen. But I sincerely hope that God's word transcends different versions of the Bible, and the gospel is received just the same.

Generally I think I'm pretty much happy to be left alone in school, like there can be days where I just go for my lectures and tutorials, sit alone in class, and then leave for home, all without really having to talk to anyone at all. But that's not to say that I am a caveman recluse who hides from people, nor does it imply that I have no contributions to the class discussions at all! I do have very good friends that I've met in school, with whom I have lunch or dinner once in a while. I speak up in class about topics that I have great passion for, or on subjects that really interest me. But I just kinda think that my uni life is kinda drab and boring, not staying in hall, not really interested in school activities or CCAs, stuff like that.

And this is too stark a contrast with my JC and secondary school days! I go out with friends several times in a week after school, or we sign up to be student leaders or orientation leaders or go crazy in CCA. Haha I know deep down somewhere there's an enthusiastic Guan You and there's a quiet Guan You, and they kinda live on two different time tangents, but they are still there.

Anyway, I had back-to-back classes from 9am to 5pm on Tuesday with no breaks in between at all, save for the 15 minutes interval before each class began. Remembered being absolutely exhausted, and definitely not in the mood to socialize some more, but I still went out with a group of fellow Geography honours friends to have dinner with one of our prof! Prof Zhang took us for an economic geog class last semester, and at the end of the module he invited all of us to his house for a party (quiet Guan You did not attend). Several months later, they decided to ask him out on Tuesday for an early Chinese New Year gathering, and we went down to Holland Village and spent the evening at Crystal Jade.

Honestly, I can't say that I have a lot of things in common with these friends, but I really enjoyed myself. Most of the time I am really lazy to bring myself to the effort of getting to know my peers, but occasionally I try to bring out the social butterfly in me and enjoy things abit. 

January has just ended, and strangely it does not feel like the inception of the new year has only consisted of one month. I feel like I have been in 2013 for very long already, even though I am still not used to writing "2013" on the occasions that I have to scribble dates. I still have to add that additional stroke to make my 2 become 3, and even as I am typing this post I have to backspace and change my 2012 to 2013. 

I think part of the reason why January has seemed extra long is because of all the new changes that are taking place? School has resumed, although I will be the first to tell you that it is nothing exciting because it is my final semester and nothing interests me anymore. I have a new and wonderful cell group on Friday nights, and I am just starting to get to know them better. There has been some changes to various things and I am still trying to come to grips with all of them.

Possibly the most annoying thing in school is how everyone sort of has an idea of what they want to do when they graduate, but for the most part I am entirely clueless? And this past week there was a Career Fair in my school, and I vehemently skipped it because I don't want to know that I am not good enough for the jobs on offer. Truth be told I don't really want to do anything that is related to my Geography degree, and for whatever other reasons I am just trying to search for some open door somewhere which does not really exist yet. 

Okay maybe there are some doors, and maybe there are some signs, but for the most part I am belligerently trying to do things on my own and trying to assume that I know better. Which I know very well will not bode well, but ahh whatever, please let me make these mistakes. 

Went to send off Shaw and Katharina at the airport earlier today, and it's a real joy to meet people like them who consistently inspire me in my faith and challenge me in my Salvationism as I got to know them over the course of the last year and a half. They've been here for studies and work, and have also been involved in various ministries in church. And of course, it adds more international friends to visit if I ever have the chance in future. 

Weekend came and left, and I get the nagging feeling that I haven't done anything much that is productive. Although if someone else looks back on my behalf, they will probably say it's not so bad, but I feel like I want to learn something new or do something different. Haha okay next weekend! 

And lastly, I am in the preparation for a Friday topic on who is Jesus Christ. Again, I can't express how much I am impacted and inspired just from reading and researching, and for Christ's presence which is just so overwhelming. 

Keeping this short =)

Just a small little thought that is going in my head. I think the role of SMS and instant messaging and Facebook and Twitter and Whatsapp is quite indispensable to my cell group leading. For what it all does with keeping up with everybody, I think I am tremendously thankful for technology for being able to just message anyone in my cell and have a decent conversation with them from it. The obvious things that I can do with it are to disseminate prayer requests lists, or send out Bible verses, or small encouragements, but in reality I do very little of that haha. Majority of the time I get the feeling that the main fellowship of my cells operate separately from the Fridays weekly meeting, on virtual space!

And perhaps, just perhaps, sometimes I think I understand them even better through SMS, cos if I ask them out for face-to-face meetings it somehow seems are more intimidating for teenagers? Haha of course this is what they always say, that technology depersonalizes and destroys actual interactions. But I think it works in the reverse way for me, because SMS and Whatsapp brings out the more intimate and more personal sharing, and when I meet them face-to-face it breaks down more walls.

Haha quite funny how things change in a matter of a decade, cos when I first took my very very first cell group when I was 15, I didn't even have a phone! Friendster and MSN were all the rage. And when I took the Sec 1 and 2s a few years back, I know my phone was constantly abuzz with truckloads of SMSes and long phone calls (little girls). And fast forward to now, everybody in the cell or ex-cell is included in a Whatsapp group that never stops ringing cos there's 8 people all vying to speak.

Past four or five days hasn't been easy on my emotions. First thing is that the new school semester started again, and it is with an extremely poignant heart that I am embarking upon. It is probably my last proper formal education that I will devote myself to, and the final semester also marks a transitional period into working life. I'm not even sure what I want to do or where I want to work, much less even began to look. I am kinda waiting for some huge signpost to point me in the direction that I should head, but nope so far nothing haha.

More than that, Uncle Timothy Lim passed away last Saturday from cancer relapse. Past few years I had reason to get to know his family better, because his children Federic and Hannah were in my cell groups. Got the opportunity to visit him once in hospital a couple of years back too, and am just so captivated by his fervent pursuit of Christ-likeness. Think the least I could do was to accompany both my little kiddos as much as possible. It included a lot of supper, late night chats, playground time, and a lot of texting heh. Nobody handles death very well, and I have to be frank to acknowledge that I don't really know the right things to say or do for every circumstance. But the cremation service was today, and I hope that put some rest to everything that their family have been through past two or three years. 

Was away at Batam past two days for a weekend getaway. It kinda started with Amelia wanting to get out of country before school started (she is always doing this), so her and Matthew and Isaac and Priscilla and I all went holidaying! We booked a villa at a resort with really nice waterfront view, and it came with its own private swimming pool! Needless to say we were swimming every opportunity we could get, and board games and cards and TV and a little bit of shopping and arcade and lots and lots of junk food.

Really appreciated the time away from everything before my final semester in school starts again tomorrow, but to be honest I don't really enjoy such kinds of holidays where I don't really do anything at all! Haha I'm the kind of traveller that likes to go and do something or see something, and I will gladly stay in one foreign city by myself for a month (if my mum ever allows) and just live there. If you tell me beach resort with sun sand sea swim, I'll just baulk mostly.

But probably what made this great fun was the company of people I was with, and how I had to be the one jumping into the cold pool last every time cos we were putting the camera on timer, and each of us with a facial mask under the stars at 2am. There is a picture of my hideous masked face, but I think I shouldn't put it up here, lest it horrifies thee.

I usually try to do an annual recap post before the new year begins, but as always there are tonnes of things that happen during year end that makes it impossible for me to sit down quietly and think through this. This is a little bit belated, but there was the customary stayover in church after Watchnight service, and we were tearing the walls down with some mass games here and there. Past couple of years I didn't quite make it through the entire night, so usually by 4am or 5am I am scooting off back to my home to sleep, but this year just seems more energetic somehow. I don't think anyone really slept throughout the night for this year, and it was a great fellowship to start/end the year, following all the outings and camps in December.

I think every year I force myself to do a recap because it helps me to give thanksgiving and praise for all the good things in the year, and I try to see where my next step should be in the new year. Generally I think 2012 has been an excellent year for me, just that the first half of the year didn't really get off with a huge bang! Usually it gets really crazy by middle of the year because I would have gone overseas or have some church camp to help out with, but I think this first half of last year was relatively quiet. I totally cannot remember what I did for my 3-month summer break, except that I was in Sydney and Melbourne for Hillsong Conference! That was a good refreshing break for my soul, and as ever a great opportunity to come back to Singapore fresher to serve in all my various ministries. And of course, the year-end preparations for all the various camps and not really being home for most of December.

This is probably as much as I can remember of my 2012. It was quite a busy year, especially when I throw in school into the equation. I know I have told myself countless times to reduce my commitments in church and let go more so that I am not doing so much in church all the time, but somehow or rather it still feels like I am spending time in church almost every other day! Okay truth be told I am really not as involved in worship ministry as before, and a lot of people around me are picking up the things which I don't have to worry so much about. Church is really my safe haven to escape from school before I go home, mostly because it is in limbo and in transit en route home.

The new year has been quite ineffably ambivalent so far. If you remember my caterpillars, one of them metamorphosized into a nice butterfly, but the other didn't make it. Releasing the butterfly took ten minutes because there was quite a strong wind and it was testing its new wings. Which is somewhat how I feel about the new year. For one thing, it is going to be my last semester in NUS, and very likely the last 5 months of studying that I will do in a long time. I don't know where I should work in, I don't know what I want to do, and I don't really have much openings or offers given to me either. And adding to that, I committed myself to another two years of youth leadership, when I'm not at all certain what this additional two years will bring. It really feels like I've been doing this too long and too much, but it doesn't feel like a chore nor a burden also. Possibly the only reason why I'm staying put is because God isn't telling me to go anywhere.

Which is why everything has started now, even though my new cell group for 2013 has not officially met together in full strength yet! Already, the small little ones that Celine and I are going to be in charge of have already been telling us excitedly about their new schools and what CCAs they are going to choose and what new phones their parents are getting for them. I think the P6 camp and the youth camp of last year helped tremendously, and I am looking forward to new experiences and new challenges with this new cell group. 6th  consecutive year of doing this. Here we go.

Have been home quite a bit and have been out of home quite a bit these few days too! Choosing to stay home mostly because my poor mum is alone. Dad has gone back to Philippines after the Christmas holiday, and my sister is holidaying in Korea and won't be back till next year! I'm trying to allow my presence to be felt more at home so that mum doesn't have to be alone all the time. Update on Cater and Pillar, both have started their cocooning, but one of the cocoons fell (I think) and the poor caterpillar is currently in three separate pieces, so I presume it dead. The other one is still in the process of metamorphosis.

And out of home because it is holidays after all! Been out a lot with friends and with the cell group especially. The year is coming to an end, and so is the cell group, and they want to meet up as many times as possible before we all get new cell groups next year. There were some shopping trips here and there, we went down to Ikea just to eat meatballs, and today we were at the airport simply to see if we can find interesting stuff to occupy the Sunday afternoon. Well they did zoom around the entire check-in area of Terminal 2 on trolleys!! It was easily one of my better days well spent for the whole year, and I am going to miss the time spent with them. I've led many many different cell groups before, so I cannot really say anything to suggest that this is the best cell group ever or the most tight-knit cell or anything remotely related to any forms of absolutes! Haha I have to be fair and impartial to my past, present and future cell groups. But still, among the best people I've ever met in life.

So Christmas came and went, and that concludes the most bittersweet season of every year-end. This year's celebrations has been pretty quiet and muted. Yes there were a couple of parties here and there, but apart from that Christmas this year kinda sneaked past my calendar. I didn't sign up to go and ring the bell for kettling, because I had reservist which took up most of my available holidays. We didn't plan to go carolling at houses too. And most of all, I think I wasn't really put in charge of anything significant this year, because past few years I was either leading worship or speaking or something like that. Haha it was a nice break.

And every year I embark on an ambitious essay writing project for all the people that matter to me in my life. Christmas card writing is one of my favourite things to do, because it allows me an opportunity to express my gratitude or thanksgiving to the person I'm writing to. Usually have about 50~70 cards to write, and then there's an essay for about about half of those people, so it does take quite a lot of effort to get it done! I figured if I'm writing a card then I might as well fill it up full with words that matter. 

Present of the year comes from Daniel and Kathryn! They bought caterpillars and gave them out to some of us, and golly it's the most ingenious present ever in my life! Well, apart from the time I received a hamster... Haha I received a pair of caterpillars, and I just need to put fresh leaves once or twice a day  for the caterpillars to eat. Most amazing thing was finding out that caterpillars can actually poop, and they do poop a lot! The eventual hope is that they pupate and then transform into butterflies so that they can be set free. Hopefully they start to cocoon themselves and turn into butterflies before the year ends, cos that will be a great start to the new year! Anyway, I named them Cater and Pillar, but it's not as if I can tell them apart.

A couple of things which I wanted to blog about.

First, I have a new hair colour now! It is the first time ever in my life I was willing to try something new and different to my hair, and first time ever in my life I actually dyed my hair. The Gatsby package says "Natural Bleach", but it looks more like light golden brown. And I'm not sure whether this is a hit or miss, because some people tell me I look ten years older, but I also have the other camp telling me I look ten years younger! Either way, this is probably the most irrationally random decision ever. Reason why I wanted to do it? I ended reservist recently and my friend said that we can all go dye cool hair colours immediately because it would have some time to fade before our next in-camp training. So... haha this is probably too weird a reason, but I figured that I should try somehow, and here I go.

Second, I decided to organize a small Pri 6 outing on Christmas Eve today. And as with every batch of new Sec 1s that come under me, they must go through the "cycling at East Coast" initiation, because I have been consistently going to East Coast every year to cycle with practically every Sec 1/2 cell that I have ever led haha. Tradition must not be forgotten! But we were caught in a sudden downpour this afternoon, and although we were drenched, I am super duper excited for these would-be new cell members! It was, and still is, my greatest privilege to be part of all these young lives, and I am constantly challenged to mould and shape them into what God intends them to be. 2013 will be my sixth consecutive year of doing this, and they are a full 12-year lunar cycle younger than me (we fiesty dragons). Nope, I am not too old for this! =)

So we had our youth camp over the past weekend, and the biggest take-home nagging feeling was that I was the oldest at the camp for large portions of it! Not that that gave me any special privileges, nor did I have to exercise any authority from it, but simply the fact that I think I am getting quite old for youth ministry! But still, camp was really great, and I count it my privilege to be part of something whereby the Spirit is so insistent on transforming lives and touching hearts. 

And leading a group lets me experience first-hand all these miracles, from people finding answers to their questions, then believing in a living God, to a whole new dimension of worship, and even an experience of Jesus taking them for a walk! I cannot quite imagine all of these, and I can only trust that what's sowed at this camp will eventually translate into something much bigger beyond me. 

Highlight of the camp include getting my group lost on a huge 40-minute detour, because I didn't heed Google Maps' instructions and the bus we were on went on the expressway! But we made an amazing comeback from finding Kar Leong at the right place at the right time literally. 

I don't have a picture of my complete group, but I'm sure they will be somewhere on Facebook, so these will do for now. 

Slightly long post ahead, but I need to put this out to encourage myself, and possibly you too. Just want to marvel and be amazed at how much people grow and change once more! I know I consistently blog about how it is a joy for me to watch people grow up over the years, and it doesn't help that I am involved with Sec 1 and 2, which means that it is practically inevitable for me to witness huge dramatic change over the course of their teenage lives. But if I do not document all these down, one day when I'm much more older and I don't have much recollection on things, I will at least be able to pull these out from 'Search' and read to catch up on my memory.

Roxanne messaged me on Saturday night and asked about our Sunday service timings. She wanted to start coming back to church again, and to be super honest and frank, I don't know why me or why our church! She was in my cell group two or three years back because Janice brought her along, but when Janice and her family changed church, Roxanne stopped coming too. So I was sitting beside her in service this morning, and it felt so weird to know that I once had this responsibility to ensure that this young lady grow up the way she is supposed to grow up in Christ. I vaguely remember praying over the phone with her friends over a phone conference and going down to her netball matches, stuff like that haha. Several years later, she's graduated from secondary school now, I've not seen her for years too, and it's just bittersweet knowing that she's back with us somehow, even if it's just one Sunday. 

And then I was at worship practice for youth camp (which is next week!!!), and was playing with Celine for some of the sessions. I can't tell you how much of this reminiscence thing played out all day for me. Celine used to be in my cell group too, the very first Sec 1 batch I took in which I had no idea where to begin and no idea what or what not to do. So I taught her guitar at the first opportunity, and I always teach 'Heart of Worship' for the first song because the chords and rhythm are relatively great for a guitar beginner. So we were midway into our worship practice, and guess what song came up through the set-lists? Haha I can't imagine how much poetic justice or irony or coincidence there are, when she went playing the same strumming pattern that I first taught her five years back, but no longer as someone who just picked up the guitar for the first time, instead as someone who have been serving in ministry for several years now. And next year she's going to be co-leading cell with me!!! 

I think I am old that way. I know I am only (just turned) 24, and it is incomparable to aunties and uncles and grandparents all around, but I always feel old in relation to the teenagers I hang out with. Just the other day, the kids in my current cell now asked me if will I still talk to them and be friends with them when they change cells next year. We are doing a massive cell group transition next year, and my cell group is currently at the "we don't want to leave each other" phase because of whatever that has been built up for the past two years, even if they vehemently deny this is the case hahaha. And I always placate them and say yes yes yes I will still talk to you, but I know pretty much that they will settle into their new cell groups and new lives and it will be THEM who won't want to talk to me! 

Just like how Roxanne and Celine are now. I don't really find out what's happening in their lives, and they don't clamour to meet me either, plainly because we all move on and our priorities change. There's only so much I can put in to care for people, and of course I have to put my current cell group on high priority. Like I reckoned, there's probably 50-odd (or 60 or 70 or 80) teenagers that I know and have met just from the length of ministry since I first took on Sec 1 and 2 five years back, and I can't know for certain where they all are now. They all bring friends, then I hang out with the friends of their friends, and it's like an exponential epidemic. I can only pray for all these young ones from my previous cells, that they are getting on fine from wherever I left them off. It's only once in a while when they sit beside me in service or play guitar with me, that it hits me like a rock where my ministry has brought me to. Somewhere somehow God deems it fit that His work and His glory is magnified through what I don't even know I'm doing. Roxanne said nobody in our church really remembers her anymore (she's proven wrong anyway because people did recognize her), but I'm more thankful that at least she remembered me enough to ask about the service timing! And I feel I can only boast about this in the Lord's strength. This commitment may have really been my sweat and blood and tears, but that's cos I am a do-er all the time. If God didn't keep reminding me to rest, I wouldn't have done much on my own efforts anyway. Likewise, seeing just a small fraction of the fruits of the labour is really the hugest encouragement for me to carry doing this. 

Today I am happily done with exams! Although I have been acting as though it ended quite a few days ago haha. Yes I was studying hard for my papers and there were many many late nights, but the truth is that it is also my final year, and there are not many ways to improve my grades by huge margins. So I have been taking it rather easy, which meant also that I have been going for cell group outings and whatever gatherings even before exams ended!

And right after exams today, I went down to support the Starbucks Open House, not as a volunteer, but as a coffee-getter! Every year they have this collaboration which involves free Starbucks drinks for a couple of hours, with all donation proceeds going to Salvation Army. For the past two or three years I have been serving as a volunteer at various locations, but this year my exams wouldn't have ended in time for the start of the kettling, so I didn't take it up. I went with Federic to Northpoint at Yishun to support the girls in my cell who were there to ring the bell, and I have to say it feels so funny to be in the queue instead of being the one in apron and ringing bell! But it's a good role reversal for once, I'm quite sure there are plenty more occasions for me to ring bells in future haha.

Joanna and Si Xuan! 

Was invited to attend a Gracehaven thanksgiving concert today, and they doubled it up with a carnival celebration too! Towards the end of the year they usually organize some special form of appreciation for all their volunteers, and for the past two years or so I think I have not attended any of it due to December's crazy schedules. Quite glad that I managed to catch this year's! 

I have to admit that every time I go down to Gracehaven, it is almost always for some form of service or ministry that I am giving. Whether it is to support them in their worship services, for tuition, for meetings... It always involves some work from my part. Haha it was quite a good experience to be able to be in the Gracehaven premise to actually enjoy and talk to the youths there without having to do anything! Over the past few years I've got to know quite a lot of people there, and of course new people come and go all the time because their length of stay in Gracehaven is usually two years. I am really motivated and encouraged by the Kingdom's work, and each Gracehaven opportunity for ministry opens my eyes to what church beyond the confines of the church is really all about. Can't quite imagine just how much some of the youths have grown in stature since I first knew them, and most of all I never knew some of them could sing or play instruments that well!

Am currently at a juncture whether to continue committing next year to the various Gracehaven ministries that I support now, and part of me is irresistibly torn to let anything go. But I do need to prioritize my time and efforts, and I am really seeking what God wants in all of these.

Yep it was my birthday yesterday, and I am super thankful to everyone who have sent my greetings one way or another. Although I think 97% of the people I know do not read this blog, because I think nobody really has the time to keep up with blogs everyday now haha. So if you're the 3% reading this, you have my sincerest gratitude! 

I am 24 now, and have gone two full cycles of with the lunar calendar dragon (I'm a dragon)! Or in other forms of lingo, I am a complete two-dozen of age, or four and a score. I think I am immensely old, but then some middle-aged uncle in church will pooh-pooh me and say I'm at the prime of my life. And then I will possibly meet some elderly auntie with very gray hair and I will just keep quiet about my age. But I only feel old in relation to my cell group, because the Sec 1s next year will be dragon babies too, and that means I am a full 12-year cycle older than them! Don't quite know how I am to deal with that hahaha. 

But birthday was great. I was going around all the restaurants and shops asking for my birthday special, if any. I think it is the only day in the whole year where I am actually allowed to ask for that, so why shy and pretend that it's not my birthday when I am possibly missing out on all these discounts! And you will be surprised at some of the birthday promotions that you are entitled to, some of it are really great, but requires you to be shameless. Other forms of celebrations include replying "happy birthday" when people greet me with "happy birthday", because well, it seems to be the same when people say "Merry Christmas" and you reply back with "Merry Christmas" too! 

A year older. 

Back from a youth leaders' training camp, and I cannot shake off the feeling that I've been doing this too frequent and too often. I think I have been staying over at William Booth Retreat Centre at least once a year for the past four or five years, each time for various retreats or camps or workshops. Which is well, quite a surreal experience, because I have no idea why I am committing myself to another two years of youth leadership when it is probably time for me to pass it on. 

This coming year will be my 6th year in a row doing the Sec 1 & 2 ministry. And possibly 9th or 10th year in total for leadership?! Haha too much for too long, but I will always remember the humbling experience at Hillsong Conference earlier this year when I met this woman who was in her 40s, and she says she has been doing youth ministry for the past 25 years. That's even longer than my life put together. And her three-word advice to me was to "keep it fun". Couldn't disagree with that haha. 

And with extreme irony, Celine will be my co-cell leader next year. She was in my first ever Sec 1 & 2 cell five years back, and I seem to be forever co-leading with people who were once in my cell when they were teeny teens (hello Jolene), but have somehow transformed from that cocoon into more-than-leaders in their own rights. I don't quite know how God does it, but if I ever need encouragement when I think my work isn't sowing the right seeds and reaping the right harvest, I talk to my co-cell leaders. Somehow, it all just adds up. 

This weekend's highlight involved engaging in a new activity/hobby! I happily signed up for a floral arrangement class about two weeks ago, when the women's ministries in my church announced that they are hiring someone in to teach a one-off session. Partly because I have always been super encouraged by the team of ladies who does our floral offering for Sunday service every week. They rotate themselves on a roster and come in every Saturday afternoon cooped up in the servery, and it can take as long as two hours!

I have to confess that I always thought floral arrangement very easy. I just have to snip the flowers and then decide what arrangement I want then poke it into the sponge, hahaha quite easy wad! But it seems like everytime I thought it looked nice, one of the aunties will walk by and "Guan You! So messy!", and then they pluck out everything I've poked in and rearrange for me. Auntie Charlotte gave me the best advice haha she attended many classes before, and she will tell me that the tallest apex flower need not be the prettiest because no one really looks that high up, so you should put the more "uglier" flowers not-yet-bloomed as the apex. And then there's symmetries and asymmetries in every shape and design! Haha completely astounded. By the way I was one of only two males there (the other was Uncle Patrick), and this is essentially part of my movement to show that floral arrangement need not always carry sexist connotations!

Pictures!!

Step 1: Have a good base foliage with the roses as the general triangular shape.

Step 2: Put in the centrepieces

Step 3: Touch up and tadaa!

This was the one the teacher did in 45 mins. It is a lot taller than this picture made it to be, with the torch ginger flowers really magnificent and with brassica flowers (the purple ones). But what I liked about this best was the three leaves sticking out at the back, it's quite funny but it's so suave!

I think I left with a deeper understanding of floral arrangement, more than just snip and poke! It seems like no matter how I arrange it, the teacher's own arrangement always looks nicer than mine! There is a technique here, and it does take a creative eye to visualize the patterns. I do hope this is not my last class! 

So today during service, I was asked an interesting question midway sermon. Rebecca asked "why was Jesus male and not a female". Haha truth be told, the first thing that I was sorely tempted to say was this small little joke that I always use as an icebreaker. It goes something similar, like "why is God referred to as he and not a she", and the answer is because we sing hymns (hims) and not herms hahaha. Okay I know it's not the best thing around, but it helps me to get the lightheartedness to where I need it to go, and people do generally laugh at it okay!

So yeah, I digress. Why was Jesus male. I thought for a moment and realized that in the patriarchal society that Jesus lived in, he probably wouldn't have gained much currency if he was a female! No one will listen to him (or her, for that matter), and no one will take him seriously, and persecution for a heretical female will be even more outright madness than a heretical male (which some already deemed him to be). Read somewhere too that Jesus' timing was always perfect, like he was in the right place at the right time. And even subsequent events after his resurrection, such as the gospel being written in Greek helped it to become widely circulated and read because it was the lingua franca of the Roman empire. So I kinda believe that Jesus has got to be male for some reason.

But then Rebecca being Rebecca, she asked further on why the Salvation Army song that we always sing "they shall come from the east they shall come from the west and sit down in the kingdom of God", why does it not include north and south! To which I have no idea really, and it was one of those Gowans and Larsson song, of which they probably wrote so many. So I googled, and they did give me a verse each from Luke 13:29 and Matthew 8:11. Funny thing was, the Luke reference had all four north south east west, but Matthew reference only had east and west! And being a Geography student this kind of thing annoys me when I can't find the answer, because I think directional references are very important haha.

Help please!!!