Slightly long post ahead, but I need to put this out to encourage myself, and possibly you too. Just want to marvel and be amazed at how much people grow and change once more! I know I consistently blog about how it is a joy for me to watch people grow up over the years, and it doesn't help that I am involved with Sec 1 and 2, which means that it is practically inevitable for me to witness huge dramatic change over the course of their teenage lives. But if I do not document all these down, one day when I'm much more older and I don't have much recollection on things, I will at least be able to pull these out from 'Search' and read to catch up on my memory.
Roxanne messaged me on Saturday night and asked about our Sunday service timings. She wanted to start coming back to church again, and to be super honest and frank, I don't know why me or why our church! She was in my cell group two or three years back because Janice brought her along, but when Janice and her family changed church, Roxanne stopped coming too. So I was sitting beside her in service this morning, and it felt so weird to know that I once had this responsibility to ensure that this young lady grow up the way she is supposed to grow up in Christ. I vaguely remember praying over the phone with her friends over a phone conference and going down to her netball matches, stuff like that haha. Several years later, she's graduated from secondary school now, I've not seen her for years too, and it's just bittersweet knowing that she's back with us somehow, even if it's just one Sunday.
And then I was at worship practice for youth camp (which is next week!!!), and was playing with Celine for some of the sessions. I can't tell you how much of this reminiscence thing played out all day for me. Celine used to be in my cell group too, the very first Sec 1 batch I took in which I had no idea where to begin and no idea what or what not to do. So I taught her guitar at the first opportunity, and I always teach 'Heart of Worship' for the first song because the chords and rhythm are relatively great for a guitar beginner. So we were midway into our worship practice, and guess what song came up through the set-lists? Haha I can't imagine how much poetic justice or irony or coincidence there are, when she went playing the same strumming pattern that I first taught her five years back, but no longer as someone who just picked up the guitar for the first time, instead as someone who have been serving in ministry for several years now. And next year she's going to be co-leading cell with me!!!
I think I am old that way. I know I am only (just turned) 24, and it is incomparable to aunties and uncles and grandparents all around, but I always feel old in relation to the teenagers I hang out with. Just the other day, the kids in my current cell now asked me if will I still talk to them and be friends with them when they change cells next year. We are doing a massive cell group transition next year, and my cell group is currently at the "we don't want to leave each other" phase because of whatever that has been built up for the past two years, even if they vehemently deny this is the case hahaha. And I always placate them and say yes yes yes I will still talk to you, but I know pretty much that they will settle into their new cell groups and new lives and it will be THEM who won't want to talk to me!
Just like how Roxanne and Celine are now. I don't really find out what's happening in their lives, and they don't clamour to meet me either, plainly because we all move on and our priorities change. There's only so much I can put in to care for people, and of course I have to put my current cell group on high priority. Like I reckoned, there's probably 50-odd (or 60 or 70 or 80) teenagers that I know and have met just from the length of ministry since I first took on Sec 1 and 2 five years back, and I can't know for certain where they all are now. They all bring friends, then I hang out with the friends of their friends, and it's like an exponential epidemic. I can only pray for all these young ones from my previous cells, that they are getting on fine from wherever I left them off. It's only once in a while when they sit beside me in service or play guitar with me, that it hits me like a rock where my ministry has brought me to. Somewhere somehow God deems it fit that His work and His glory is magnified through what I don't even know I'm doing. Roxanne said nobody in our church really remembers her anymore (she's proven wrong anyway because people did recognize her), but I'm more thankful that at least she remembered me enough to ask about the service timing! And I feel I can only boast about this in the Lord's strength. This commitment may have really been my sweat and blood and tears, but that's cos I am a do-er all the time. If God didn't keep reminding me to rest, I wouldn't have done much on my own efforts anyway. Likewise, seeing just a small fraction of the fruits of the labour is really the hugest encouragement for me to carry doing this.